Page 41 of How (Not) to Conjure a Boyfriend
“Meet…” Zachary strings the word out and then suddenly swings around. “Teo!”
In a matter of a second I’m confronted with the biggest sand-brown spider I’ve ever seen in my life. I flail backward against the wall and claw for anything that I can get my hands on.
“Put it back! Put it back!” I beg.
The excitement in Zachary’s eyes dims to shame. He yanks back and hurries to the aquarium. My body is shaking by the time he returns. He surprises me again when a palm lightly cups my arm. I flinch from the unexpected touch, but he holds on.
“I’m sorry, Mackenzie,” he says. “I didn’t think it’d…”
He doesn’t finish the sentence and I find myself staring down at his hand. It’s still there, lightly holding my arm. It’s warm and soft, and I’m not shaking anymore. Then my brain floods with one singular question on repeat.
Why the hell is he touching me?
I yank my arm away as the adrenaline wears off, and he takes a step back. His face is blushed. Damn. I made him feel bad. Well serves you right, scaring me like that. I told you I was scared of them.
“I’m s—”
Involuntarily, a tiny giggle jumps into my mouth and escapes. I try to hold the next back, but it happens anyway. Zachary looks at me oddly, and I giggle again. Now I’m smiling because it’s funny, even if I was just scared out of my mind. It’s like a reflex for me. Something makes my adrenaline spike, then it fades and I giggle.
“Are you okay?” Zachary asks, a smile forming on his lips despite the confusion pouring from his eyes.
“Yeah, it’s an adrenaline response,” I tell him. “Weird. I know.”
“It’s cute. I mean okay. It’s okay,” he speeds over himself.
Okay… I’m not sure what to do with that.
“So, no Teo then.” Zachary keeps talking. “I love spiders, he’s my second, actually. But I get it. You and them don’t mix.”
“Two of them?” I ask, peering around him at theopenaquarium. There’s no lid.It has no lid!And I can’t see the spider. Wait, it has a name? No, I knew that already. But where’s the lid?
“Yeah, you just met—well, sort of—Teo. They’re a tan jumping spider. I caught them a few months ago in the backyard.” He sounds so proud of his catch, and despite how much I don’t want to be in the same house as a spider, I can appreciate that. “I don’t know if it’s a boy or girl, so I just say they’re non-binary like you.”
“I never thought of spiders as non-binary,” I admit. Although most of the time when I think of spiders I’m thinking nasty, creepy, crawly things that deserve to be swallowed by the depths of hell. Sort of like yellow jackets. “I remember you telling Mom about them. Just didn’t think I was going to meet them.”
“Yeah.” Zachary shrugs. “I named them after the Great Goddess of Teotihuacan. They also called her Spider Woman, so it sort of makes sense.”
“Teotia-whaty?” I say.
“Exactly. That’s why they’re Teo.” He smiles. “Before Teo, I had Aria—she was a black and white garden spider. She was bigger than Teo. I named her after the Celtic spider goddess.”
Great Goddess of Teoti-something. Celtic goddess. Cats named Artemis and Rhaenyra. Okay, that last one isn’t a mythological character, but she is fantasy. No wonder he was actually intrigued by Freyja.
“You have a thing for mythology and religions, don’t you?” I ask. It wasn’t really a question, but oh well.
“How’d you guess?”
He looks genuinely surprised.
“Really?” I ask, my giggle returning for a second. “All your…pets. They’re named after gods and goddesses. And you actually seemed to be interested in my faith. No one ever is.”
“I think it’s neat! And yeah, they all are named after gods and goddesses, except Rhaenyra,” he corrects me. “Mom named her. I wanted her to be Athena. Did you know she was one of only three virgin goddesses?”
“Nope. I hadn’t a clue,” I admit. I guess that gives me one thing in common with a goddess then.
He goes on about how she helped Perseus against Medusa, and made sure Odysseus got home, and how the city of Athens was named after her. Then he starts in on Artemis. This stuff is just cool. It’s so intricate and exciting. And it sounds so much more interesting when he talks about it. It seems to really mean something to him.
A good ten minutes pass before he remembers why we came back here in the first place. To see Hayden’s room. To see my “boyfriend’s” room.
