Page 77 of This I Promise You
“That dress does look amazing on you, not gonna lie,” I say.
Thank you, Skylar mouths.
“Anyway,” Easton cuts in, “yeah, we’re here for spring break too. Our friend’s—Paul’s roommate—parents have a beach house.”
“Oh my God, we’re having dinner and a bonfire tonight! Y’all should join us. Imani too!” Tyler says.
“Yes! That would be so much fun. You don’t think Hux would mind, do you, babe?” Easton says.
“Nah, she wouldlovemore guests! Seriously, y’all should join,” I say.
Skylar is smiling wide, nodding his head quickly.
Jacob speaks for both of them. “Yes! We’d love to! Im would be down too. She’s always up for a good party.”
* * *
Dinner waschaoticto say the least. A house full of queers, not to mention Huxley with her sister, Luana, and Imani is justinsane. The three of them are the funniest people I’ve ever met. Whoever’s idea this was is crazy and I’m so grateful. I have a large family. With four other siblings plus all my aunts, uncles, and cousins, let’s just say holidays are beyond deafening. But I’ve never felt anything like this. So safe or wanted, I’ve never felt so…loved. To have Huxley’s parents be as welcoming and accepting as they have been is new for me. It’s a little awkward though, so I’ve tried to avoid them even though it’s fucked up because they’re paying for my therapy, which I’m sure isn’t cheap. It isn’t personal, I just have a hard time with father figures for…reasons. Dr. Orleen is aware and has been helping me work through it. I don’t think they’ve noticed though, as I’ve kept to Easton’s side most of the night.
Huxley’s mom is a first-generation immigrant from Italy, which explains why she’s such an amazing cook. She told us her whole backstory over dessert. She has her own restaurant in Burbank—a suburb of Atlanta. Huxley’s dad's African American, born and raised in Georgia. He’s a family/child lawyer, which would explain the beach house.
To have a family like Huxley’s…I don’t even know what I would do. But I have my own version of a family in Huxley and Easton. I don’t know the others well. Hell, I just met most of them today, but I canfeelthe depths of their souls and it’s good. It’s all so very good.
Skylar, Devina, Luana, and Mr. Davenport clean up the kitchen. Mrs. Davenport, Aidan, Tyler, Jacob, Easton, and Huxley are all drinking wine and talking and laughing in the living room. I’m standing out on the balcony watching the man I…love have the time of his life. He’s the most relaxed and carefree I’ve seen him since we met. He looks a little exhausted, but who isn’t after spending all day in the sun?
Huxley glances my way and I smile and wave awkwardly, but my smile falters. I turn away from her to look out at the near-black ocean. Its music and aroma wafting around me in a gentle, cool breeze as the waves lap at the sand below.
I hear the sliding door open and close, footsteps approaching. It’s probably Huxley. Easton sounds like an elephant when he walks and no one else would come out here with me.
“You’ve been avoiding us, child,” a woman’s voice says through a thick Italian accent.
I grimace and turn toward Mrs. Davenport. “I’m sorry, ma’am. I mean no offense.”
“No need for apologies. Huxley has told me enough. We have a close relationship, she and I. I’ve put the rest together myself.”
“Regardless,” I say, looking her in the eye kindly, “I’m sorry.”
“Yes, I can see that.” She smiles and pats my cheek, then leans against the railing to look out into the darkness.
I mimic her. “You have a beautiful home. I’ve never been to the beach before and it’s been a wonderful trip already. Thank you for hosting us.” She looks at me and I smile, even though I don’t feel like it.
“What troubles you, Paul? I have yet to see a genuine smile on that gorgeous youthful face since we first met.”
“My…” I pause. “My parents wouldn’t be so kind.”
“Why are you not close with them, if you don’t mind me asking?”
“I don’t want to be. They’ve…hurt me…in unforgivable ways. I’m better off without them.” I turn around and lean my butt against the railing. Easton and Tyler are talking about something, then they both bend over laughing. “Just because they’re my family doesn’t mean I have to choose them though, right?”
Mrs. Davenport follows my line of vision. “Not many your age could come to that conclusion. But you miss them?”
“I miss my siblings, yeah.” I look at her. “I worry the two young ones are being treated the same way I was. I couldn’t…” I pause and bow my head in shame, my voice barely above a whisper. “I can’t save them. I could barely save myself.”
“And the regret you feel for leaving eats away at you.”
“Something like that.”
“Paul. Paul, look at me,” she demands with kindness and grace, so I do. “You mustn't let thegood decisionto rid your life of toxic, hurtful people burden you. You have a responsibility to yourself first and foremost, to look out foryou, and onlyyoucan decide that for yourself.”
