Page 50 of This I Promise You
“Ooh.” Paul coos, but his eyes drift around the shop.
Maybe I shouldn’t have, but I couldn’t wait any longer.
“How about we get out of here,” he suggests.
“Sure.” I nod when his smile rises higher than usual. “You getting that?”
“Oh yeah. Huxley would fuck me up if she knew I went to a bookstore and left without it.”
“True.” I nod as if I’m sorry for him.
We check out and start outside and down the ramp to my car. God my piece of shit car is so embarrassing, but I try to focus on him instead. I don’t have to try hard because he grabs my hand in his and squeezes before we get a few steps outside. I glance in his direction and smile. He’s already looking at me, but neither of us say a thing. I don’t think we could say anything that would make this any better to be honest.
At the car I get in and lean across to unlock his door. My electronic locks are totally broken and manual now. He gets in and stows his bag on the floor.
The urge to kiss him again has me all out of sorts, but I don’t do it. I don’t need to be that guy who only thinks about that. I don’t want Paul thinking it’s just about that.
I start the ignition and my car burps to life in the most inharmonious way. I tighten my hands around the steering wheel.Just let me get him home safely.My hand goes to the gearshift, but before I can pull it into reverse, Paul’s hand lands on top of mine.
“Hey.” Paul’s voice comes soft, deep and smooth.
I turn to face him and he’s already leaning toward me. Our faces are so close I can smell the leather and sage of his cologne radiating from his body.
How are you here and so beautiful at the same time?I think.
Paul leans in. Our closed lips connect, and my eyes close. I can’t place the taste of his lips, but the feeling is wonderful. He pulls away, and my eyes slowly open, my lips already missing his touch. Neither of us speak, but our eyes lock together and I can see the longing in them, the same longing I feel down deep in my chest.
I swallow the lump building in my throat and practically leap forward, lips parting, and kiss him. He kisses back, lips matching mine, his tongue invading my mouth. My entire body quakes in ecstasy at just his kiss, and I push closer. His hand brushes my cheek and then cups my chin, pulling me in.
The heat of his mouth seeps into mine and radiates through my entire body. I want this to last forever. I want this.
Why do moments like this have to end?
Paul
He’s A Cat
I was anxious about my first day at work all day until I actually got here. My anxiety has been so much more manageable lately and it’s been the reprieve I needed. Panic attacks are the worst, but it’s like the last one I had was an awakening and now I feel so fresh and new and ready and in control. Huxley is amazing, Easton is the greatest, I’m doing well in all of my classes. I really think this job will be a nice little cherry on top.
Jeremy is a no-nonsense, no-bullshit kinda guy, but also he’s not. He’s a lot of fun and probably swears more than I do, kinda makes me think I might swear too much. It’s a weird dynamic he has, but I think he’s going to make for a great boss. He’s not that much older than me—twenty-nine I think Huxley mentioned. So he gets it.
Easton and I have spent nearly every day together outside of classes and I honestly can’t get enough. I never could have anticipated this, this intense building affection I have for another human.
“What the flying fuck type of lovebug bullshit crawled up your ass?” Jeremyrudelyinterrupts my thoughts.
“Excuse me?” I clap back.
“You look like you’re best buds with cupid, fuckshit. Got it bad, huh? Who’s the lucky lady, person, or dude? Yeah, I think you’re more into dudes, aren’t you? I can tell.” He nods to me like the dude bro that he is. At least he’s not an ass.
“Bingo.” I raise my hands in surrender. “Flaming homo here.”
“Figured. Hux keeps good company.” He’s putting the chairs up on the tables so he can sweep and mop. I’m organizing bottles and dusting. “I’m pan and poly. Been married to my wife for six years, but each of us also has someone else. I have a boyfriend and she has a non-binary partner. It works for us. You poly or mono?”
“Oh, cool.” Damn, I wasn't expecting that from him. He seems so…straight? But then again, people think I am too. Guess we all need to learn not to judge people at face value. “I’m mono. Guess I’m too selfish of a person not to be monogamous.”
“That’s wassup. Jealousy is dope shit. It’s a natural human emotion, you know? I’ve never been the jealous type, so jealous bitches make me curious. I’d love to dissect that more.” He grabs the broom from the back closet. “Plus, it’s kinda hot.”
Now I’m curious. “How do you get around being polyamorous in North Carolina? Isn’t this place, like,extremelyconservative?”
