Page 42 of This I Promise You
“Hey,” I say surprised. I can’t trust my voice right now because I’m nervous and excited andholy shitI think I actually missed him?
“Uh… Hey, Paul…” he stutters like he does and it’s so cute I might die.
What is this shithead doing to me?
“I… Sorry for just showing up but…you haven’t responded to my texts…or my calls.” He pauses and looks anywhere but at me. I can’t look anywhere but athim. “I was worried, is all. I swear I don’t just show up like this normally.”
He blushes that peachy color I like that reaches his ears, and I surprise both of us by asking, “You hungry?”
All he does is nod. I let him in and tell him to sit at the table, then I go to make him a plate. I didn’t really make enough for two, but I think I can split the chicken and broccoli evenly so there’s enough for both of us. I might have to make more for myself later.
I set the plate in front of him and move to sit across from him. I’m nervous becausehe’s hereand I have some apologizing to do. I’m not sure where to start, but his presence is calming while we eat.
“Listen, I—” I say at the same time he says, “So, how—”
We both say, “Sorry” in unison. Then, “You go first.”
We laugh together.
Once we both calm down he asks, “Did I do something wrong?” and it breaks my fucking heart. He legit thought all of that was his fault?
“No, Easton. No. You did nothing wrong. I swear. It’s…me.” I hang my head.
His head drops too, and his eyes close. “That’s what they all say.”
“No, it’s not like that. I’m truly so sorry, dude. I was…I was on edge all day that day. I have…” I pause, close my eyes, and rub my hands down my face. Then I look him directly in the eye. “…anxiety and I wanted our date to go well. But I fucked it up with my issues. I don’t do well with PDA, and then your roommate showed up, and then I’ve been ignoring you and avoiding you. Gah! I’m so sorry. I just…didn’t know how to do this. Not after… Not after you saw me… Not after you saw me like that. I should never have treated you like that. Hell, I shouldn’t have treated you the way I have since we first met. My…attitude has been inexcusable and I’m so very sorry. I’ve just been…um…going through a lot, but that’s no excuse for my behavior. I’m…um. I’m so…so sorry, Easton.”
Now I’m the one who’s fucking stuttering.
Get your shit together, Paul.
“You didn’t fuck it up. I was nervous too. You’re uh…well.” His focus darts away from me. ”It’s hard to believe that someone likeyouwould want to go out with me.”
“Wh-what?” I stammer, surprised.
“Yeah, you know. You’re all…” Easton shies away again. “Uh. You’re sexy as hell. And I’m not. Like there’s no—”
“Are you serious? Easton, come on. I may not know you very well yet and we definitely didn’t get off on the right foot, but you’re fucking adorable, dude. I…I like you. And I liked kissing you. Like I said, I just have issues.”
“We all do, I guess.” His eyes twitch. “I liked kissing you too. So much. And I’m sorry you’re going through so much. Same honestly.”
I wasn’t expecting him to show up here. I wasn’t expecting to have this conversation with him, but now that it’s all out there I feel like we really could figure this out. Just gotta take the leap.
After a brief silence Easton speaks up again without looking at me. “Sorry if I came on too strong. I…uh…”
He stops and throws his head back in frustration.
“You don’t ha—” I lean forward with my hand out to try to stop him, but he doesn’t let me.
“No, I do.” Easton puts his hand up and takes a breath. “I’m not used to guys actually seeingme, and I just assumed you wanted to fuck. I wasn’t even sure if it was a date. Sorry.”
He looks away, his cheeks pink and cute as shit, but the hurt in his eyes is too much.
“We could…try again,” I suggest. “All I ask is for patience and grace. I’m far from perfect, but I hope I can make it up to you. I definitely want to try. If you want to, that is.”
“Okay,” Easton jumps in the moment my lips stop moving.
“Yeah?” I can’t stop smiling.
