Page 4 of This I Promise You
“Nice, you didn’t forget.” Aidan sticks out his tongue before Tyler pushes him back on his bed and crawls over him to cuddle him like a big body pillow.
Internally, I’m screaming. It’s not fair. I want that. I want it so bad. Not Aidan or Tyler, but what they’ve got. Actually doing the shit to get it? No. Hell, the last time I tried dating was in high school and I still hate the thought of his name: Ryan Cook. It took me a full year to realize he was just using me. I still can’t figure out why I was obsessed with his frail freestyle-dancing self. But I was, and it was a rude awakening when I finally realized he was a narcissist. His dancing sucked ass anyway.
“I knew I’d be stuck in here all night with you two. Last thing I want to be is sober,” I say, heading for the little mini fridge at the foot of A’s bed. I hand them both a can of White Claw and drop onto my bed.
Aidan’s side of the room, unlike mine, has life. There are posters—everything from professional soccer players to movie posters to some obscure superhero named Zatara I’d never heard of before—a cute photo collage over his headboard, a slew of books on the stark white school-provided bookshelves, and a strand of color-changing LEDs bordering the skirt of his bed.
On my side, it’s a loneStar Warsposter, a few of my favorite Dean Koontz novels on my shelf, and a handful of pictures tacked up with some sticky putty—that’s it. There’s one of my dad and me next to the old shed behind the family home, another of him and my sister, Samantha, trying to throw me in the water at the beach—I think Mom took that one before she left—and a few of Boone and Denver.
Other than that there’s a lamp and a stack of books under my nightstand. Sartori’sTheory of Democracyand, of course, one about Alice Paul and the women’s suffrage movement topping off the stack. Riveting stuff. I’m weird. I know. Oh, and there’s a white cowboy hat dangling on the chair by my tiny little desk. I rarely wear it, but it helps me remember where I came from.
“You don’t want a show?” Tyler jokes.
“I’d rather watch the dogs at the kennel hump each other.” I shake my head and crack open my can before taking a generous gulp. The kennel is my main job. It’s how I pay for my insurance, food, and gas. But I’m such an animal person, so it’s fun.
“No show for Easton.” Aidan pops his lips dramatically.
“Thank you!” I blow out a breath. “Y’all want to watch a movie?”
“Eh,” Aidan grunts.
“Maybe the newDon’t Breathemovie?” I shrug.
Tyler takes a drink and squeezes Aidan. “I heard it wasn’t near as good as the first one.”
“Yeah, and that’s some dark shit.” Aidan twists around and kisses Tyler.
I look away; it just feels wrong to watch them kiss.
“Coming from the dude who’s about to get a gory horror book published.” I cock my head and grunt. “I’ve read your shit. That’s disturbing.”
“I mean…” Aidan grins and giggles deviously. I think it’s partly because he knows it’s true and partly because he’s getting tipsy. “True. But uh…no one said it’sactuallygetting—”
“It is,” Tyler interrupts him.
“—published. Stop!” Aidan eyes his boyfriend, head wobbling, and bites at his own lip. “Gotta keep my hopes low.”
I shake my head. He finished writing his story before I met him, and he landed his agent last semester, but we still can’t get him to believe he’s going to make it. He is though. His stuff is good. Scary and bloody as hell, but good.
“No, keep ’em high!” I correct him as I feel the alcohol slowing my speech. We’re all lightweights.
“No!” Aidan insists.
“Yes!” Tyler wrestles with him, literally. “My boyfriend is an amazing writer.”
Aidan rolls his eyes, and I laugh but it comes out more as a grunt. I’m so damn jealous. I want a man to hold me like that.Stop it. It’s stupid.
“Let’s make a toast,” I blurt to get my mind off it. “To A! Newly minted…uh…oh yeah, twenty-year-old, and soon to be bestsellingauthor.” The words drip off my tongue as I raise my white can.
“To A!” Tyler raises his can and we all take a gulp.
“What uh…what were we watching again?” Aidan stutters.
I squint. Hell, what did A say he wanted to watch? Oops. “I don’t remember.”
“Star Trek!” Tyler shoots his pointer finger to the sky like it’s some awesome idea.
“No!” Aidan shakes his head.
