Page 80 of This I Promise You
“So, what? He could go blind? Will this kill him?”
Huxley is standing above me, sipping her coffee with one hand on my shoulder reassuringly. She gives it a squeeze in anticipation.
“He could go blind, yes. But only if the disease persists. It attacks the nerves. There’s a lot of things that can go wrong. He had a minor issue a couple weeks back, but other than that he’s done really well the past year. We don’t need to worry though because he’s going to be fine.”
“How do you know so much?” Huxley asks.
“Easton’s my friend and roommate.” Aidan looks at her and smiles weakly. “I’ve known him for a while. Also, I’m a nursing major.”
“A couple weeks back? Like when we first started dating? Wait, was that why he canceled plans with me? He said he was dizzy or something, but I thought he just had a headache or whatever.”
Aidan shrugs. “Maybe? Probably.”
I jump out of my chair and rub my hands viciously over my face. I’m so tired, but I doubt I could sleep right now. My mind is reeling. “What thefuck. He kept this from me, that little shit. Heliedto me!”
“Paul, would you grow the fuck up?” Aidan scoots forward in his chair but doesn’t stand. His voice is getting louder now. I’m literally causing the guy who never swears to swear. At leastI’venever heard him swear. “Seriously? This isn’t about you! You’ve known East for, what? A couple months? You don’t get to decide how or evenwhenhe tells youshit. That’s up to him and him alone. So stop being such a selfish prick and focus on what matters. If you love him, then cut the crap.”
I huff and grumble with layers of sarcasm. “If I love him.” A statement, not a fucking question.
Tyler raises his eyebrows. “Yes, Paul. Everyone can see it. You clearly care. Don’t be so mean because you can’t see past your anger.”
“Whether or not East should have told you doesn’t matter right now,” Aidan reiterates. “And anyway, it’s something totalkabout with him, not scream about.”
I deflate. I digress. He’s right, I guess, and I don’t have it in me to argue back anymore. I just want him to be safe, healthy and safe. I just want him in my arms, to hold and protect.
I need to see him!
It’s been over three hours of sitting in this hellhole waiting room. Actually, scratch that, if a portal to hell opened up, then I’d rather sit there than here. I can’t stand the sight ofKevin the Receptionist'sface.
How did we get here? How? My time with Easton since that clusterfuck of a V-day party has been top tier, quality time well spent. Sure, it hasn’t always been sunshine and fucking flowers, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything. I can’t for the life of me think of a good moment for him to tell me about his…condition.
Son of abitchI had a full-fledged panic attack meltdown in front of him. I told him about my sexual assault and he couldn’t find it in his cold dead heart to tell me about this shit? Sorry, no, that’s not fair. His heart isn’t dead. It just doesn’t give enough of a shit about itsfucking boyfriend.
Shit. That’s not fair either.I don’t know!I feel like I’m going crazy right now.
I love the hell out of him. I do, but he clearly doesn’t love me. How could he? I opened up to him. I told himeverything. He told me nothing. I guess…he didn’t have to. I just wish he trusted me enough to tell me he’ssick. What…did I do wrong?
I never should have moved here.
Tyler’s voice interrupts my spiraling inner monologue. “Have you heard from his dad?” he asks Aidan.
Aidan nods. “Yeah, he’s on the way. Should be here in…thirty minutes or so.”
And now I have to deal with hisdad? This is bullshit.
“I’m going for a walk.”
No one says anything as the sliding glass doors open and the hint of Southern spring humidity invades my senses.
* * *
I’m not sure how long I’m gone, and my phone died. I don’t give a fuck anyway. I probably walked around the entire hospital five times before I decided to go back inside.
I walk through the sliding glass doors and everyone is standing around, clearly not waiting for me. There’s a man talking to a doctor that I can only assume is Easton’s dad.
I don’t want to do this, not here, not under these circumstances. If ever.
“We’ll let you know if we see any more issues,” the doc says. “You may see him soon, but no one else. We don’t want to cause Easton any more distress. He needs his rest.”
