Page 39 of This I Promise You
“One-night stand?”
“More like half a night and just kissing,” I correct her.
“Same thing.” She shrugs.
It still just hits so weird though. Like, things seemed pretty great. Sure, I was awkward all evening and I drank more than I should because I didn’t know why I liked being there with him so much and just knew he hated every moment of it. The poetry was horrible and I didn’t talk much. I thought with a few drinks I’d loosen up and talk, but I didn’t. I might have gotten quieter, until we got back to the dorm, and I sort of went full horny on him. But he did ask me to go in the first place, or did I read his intentions wrong? Oh my God, does he just want a friend?! I drop my face into my palm.
“What?” Melanie’s surprised.
“Maybe I read him wrong. Maybe it wasn’t a date.” I’m reeling. I thought it was a date. That’s why I was so nervous, but if it wasn’t… Oh my God. And I even cussed Aidan out for scaring him off when I got back upstairs last night. I had to apologize for that this morning. One more reason he doesn’t like Paul.
“So you’re all worried about a boy that just wants to be friends?” Melanie nods and pats the table between us. “You’re crushing so hard.”
“No I’m not!” I blurt back and straighten.
I let my head fall against the back of my chair and stare into the cloudless blue sky, letting the breeze chill my nose. I knew we weren’tdating, but I thought it was adate.
Paul
The Interview
Huxley and I walk into Uptown Slam, her to drink, me for a job interview.
I’ve been looking around the past few days for something part-time. I still want to make sure I’m focusing on school and working out, but a part-time job would be a nice distraction and Uptown Slam is looking for a barback/bartender and I wanna give it a shot. Huxley came with me because she knows the owner because of course she does. She said her being there would “totally land you the job.” I figured I’d take all the help I can get.
Huxley orders a drink and I sit down next to her at the bar, waiting.
“So, Paul. How are you? It’s been too long. We can’t let this happen again.”
I order a water. “Um. It’s been two days and we’ve both been busy.”
She huffs. “And that’s three days too long in my opinion.”
“Yeah, okay.”
We’re silent for a moment before she says, “Heard from E?”
I told Huxley about what happened. She doesn’t know all the details about why I had a panic attack, only that I had one and I let her come to her own conclusions.
“Yeah. He’s texted a few times. Even left me a voicemail like it’s 2008.”
“Oh please,” she says, waving me off, “you were barely out of diapers in 2008. You havezeroroom to talk.”
“Still.”
“Still.”
I fiddle with the condensation running down my glass. “I don’t know what to say. I fully freaked the fuck out on him. He probably thinks I’m batshit.”
“Would someone who thinks you’re batshit keep trying to contact you though?” Huxley’s eyes go all wise Buddha on me.
“No, probably not.”
She pats my shoulder. “I know this is hard for you. But you like him—don’t give me that look, you know you do and I’m not wrong about these things. We’ve already established that. Just…when you’re ready, talk to him. I know E. He’s, like, so easy to read. Super deep, lots of layers. But you gotta put in the licks to get to the center of his Tootsie Pop—”
“I fucking hate you.”
“—and you can tell he’s been through some shit,soy’all already have so much in common! Look, nothing can get done unless you com…mun…i…cate. Whether it’s good or bad or somewhere in between,at leastcommunicate.”
