Page 6 of Fighting for Valor
You don’t lose yourself all at once. It happens in stages. Isolation. Confusion. Fear. Amir Faruk comes to see me often. Always with food. With kindness. With words I can’t help but listen to.
There’s a doctor, too. A man who helps me shuffle over to the toilet to piss, who speaks only Pashto, forcing me to respond in kind. He tells me how bad things were under Amir Aazar. How Amir Faruk is kind and just. How the invading forces—American, British, French, and more—are searching for the Special Forces traitor. How lucky I am that Amir Faruk saved me.
Deep inside, I know I’m not this…Isaad. But then the lights go out. Every night, I wake screaming, the scorpions crawling over my naked skin. It’s only when I fall to the floor—off the cot—and realize I’m wearing a loose pair of pants that I realize I’m not in that dark hole. If I don’t do what Amir Faruk wants, I’ll end up back there.
Three times, I’ve fought the doctor. Tried to escape. Three times, Zaman has caught me and thrown me back into the well for a day…sometimes two. I won’t survive if he does it again.
Now, I’m locked in. “For your safety,” Amir Faruk said the last time he carried me back into this room, dirty, weak, and out of my mind from the scorpion venom. “You cannot fight me any longer, Isaad. This is your home.”
The lock clicks open, and I push myself up, my back to the wall. I need to appear strong.
“Isaad. You are looking well today,” Amir Faruk says as he closes the door behind him, approaches the bed, and slides a tray onto the table. “I have brought your evening meal and more antibiotics.”
“My name is Jackson—”
“No!” His kind tone disappears, and he snatches up the hypodermic needle, grabs my arm, and injects me before I can protest or try to pull away. “You are Isaad. The man you once were is responsible for the death of two high-ranking Special Forces officers. If he were to live, you would be repatriated to the United States and tried for treason. Or the local Afghan Allied Forces would slit your throat themselves.”
His words sink in as my eyelids droop. Yes. That’s right. I have to stay safe. But…Special Forces…we don’t lie. And this…is a lie. Isn’t it? “I don’t want to…be Isaad. I take…responsibility…”
“I do not want you to suffer, Isaad,” Amir Faruk whispers as he holds a glass of a sweet liquid to my lips. “I can protect you. There is so much you can do to atone for your mistakes. Here. Where you are safe. What is better? Dying for your crimes? Or using your skills and talents to redeem yourself?”
Could I really do that? Atone for my sins? Maybe that would be better. I let him feed me, my limbs leaden. His voice is smooth, gentle. Kind. And he keeps repeating my name. Isaad.
Isaad is safe here. Isaad can do good with his life. Isaad knows Amir Faruk saved him.
“You will rest now, Isaad,” Amir Faruk whispers as he pats my shoulder, and I want to do everything he tells me. When he locks the door, I try to remember that other name. The one I know I can’t lose. But, it’s just out of my reach. I’ll remember. In the morning.
Chapter Four
Six Years Later
Isaad
I sit at the terminal, moving forty thousand United States dollars from one offshore account to another. The transaction requires finesse, and I’m exhausted. I failed my previous task—hiding the purchase of ten surface-to-air missiles from the Afghan government. They intercepted the shipment and seized half a million dollars before I could reverse the transaction, and Amir Faruk ordered me to fast for seven days as punishment.
This is day six, and every time I stand, I have to brace myself on something.
“Isaad!”
His tone tells me any delay will earn me additional punishments, and I shuffle as quickly as I can down the hall and into the parlor.
“Yes, sir?”
Amir Faruk stands in front of a woman dressed in a long abaya. She looks vaguely familiar. Shit. The doctor. The one who specializes in Alpha Thalassemia, the disease Faruk’s son was born with.
He had me research her. I never thought he’d actually kidnap her. Or even be able to find her. Zaman holds her by the arms, and as I meet her gaze, I see her terror. All because of me.
Looking from Faruk to the woman and back again, I wait for my orders.
“Erase all evidence of Dr. Josephine Taylor from public records in America. She does not exist anymore.” Faruk shoves a passport at me, and Josephine lunges for it.
Zaman grabs her by the hair, then kicks her in the back of the knees to send her to the floor. “Please,” she whispers, holding up bound hands. “You can’t just make me disappear.”
“I can. Very easily,” Faruk says with a smile. He casts a quick glance over his shoulder at me, and the look in his eyes…I want to throw up, but there’s nothing in my stomach. “Your friends will be sold in two days. They are being prepared for auction as we speak. You, however, are too valuable to let go.“
I hold Dr. Josephine Taylor’s gaze for a long moment, hating myself, my part in all of Amir Faruk’s businesses, and the weakness inside me that stops me from doing something…anything about it.
I bow my head, turn, and hurry from the room before I say something that will get me thrown back into the well. I have to do what Amir Faruk says or my life will be over, and I don’t want to die. Except…days like today, I think maybe that would be better.
