Page 50 of Fighting for Valor
It takes us almost an hour to reach my apartment. I don’t trust ride shares—not when there’s someone potentially after one or both of us—and though Ry would come get us, he’d also probably tear me a new one for being with Cara, and I’m not in the mood.
“This is like a fortress,” she says after the door locks disengage.
“Yeah. You spend six years with no privacy, you lock your shit up tight.”
Cara flinches, huddling deeper into my sweatshirt, and I kick myself for not watching my fucking mouth.
Charlie goes right to his bed and lies down with his head on his paws, staring at me expectantly. Great. I’m being judged by my dog now. Mouthing, “I know,” to him, I double-check the security system as she stands at the window.
Keeping the overhead lights dim lets me see the city, even at night, and the privacy coating Ryker had a contractor install on the windows ensures no one can see in. “Cara, I’m sorry. It’s late, and—”
“You’re inside. Stuck inside. Trapped. Because of me.” Turning away from the window, she swipes at her cheeks. “I can’t do that to you.”
That one word rattles around in my brain. Trapped. I’m trapped. It’s dark, and I’m trapped. Get it together. Relax.
“I—” my heart rate spikes, and I suck in a wheezing breath, “—brought you here. This isn’t your—”
My jacket falls from my hand, and I can feel the scorpion’s legs skittering along my shoulder. The dread coiling in the pit of my stomach as I try to hold my breath. The searing agony as the stinger burrows into my muscle. My fingers skim one of the older, deeper scars on my upper arm, long healed, but still too vivid a memory.
“Ripper?” Cara’s dark locks tickle my cheek, and I blink hard. I’m on the floor next to my bed with Charlie on one side of me, Cara on the other. “Breathe.”
As she presses her hand to my chest, my throat tightens. Faruk’s voice echoes in my ears. Then Kahlid starts in. My vision tunnels until all I can see are Cara’s brown eyes. My ass throbs where I hit the ground, and I clamp my hand over hers. “Don’t. Let. Go,” I rasp.
“I won’t.” Warm fingers curl around the back of my neck, and slowly, she eases herself around me. “Charlie. Come here,” she whispers, and the dog wriggles into my lap. “You’re safe. Wherever you think you are, you’re not. You’re in Seattle with me and Charlie. In a fortress of an apartment with a gorgeous view, and a huge bed, and—”
Tangling my hand in her hair, I pull her closer and crush my lips to hers. She tastes like mint, and I’m only vaguely aware of Charlie scrambling off to his bed and Cara wrapping her legs around my waist. “Ripper,” she whispers when we come up for air, “it’s been so long…”
Her hips grind against me, and more memories threaten. Being held down. Stripped. Laughter. I can’t do this. With a choked cry, I lift her off me, then stumble for the balcony door. The cool air hits my cheeks, and even though my dick feels like it’s going to explode behind my zipper, I know I’ll never have that—intimacy, sex, a relationship—again.
After a few minutes, I’ve calmed down enough to face her, but I don’t go inside. “There’s a lot you don’t know about me, Cara. I shouldn’t have kissed you.”
She squares her shoulders and marches over to the door, stopping just short of the threshold. “Why not? I like you, Ripper. No, I wasn’t looking for a relationship. And God knows I shouldn’t let myself have one. Because what you don’t know about me could kill you. But that—” she points back to the floor next to the bed, “—wasn’t either of us starting a ‘relationship.’ It was…two people needing one another.”
Before I can protest, my phone rings, and I push past her to retrieve my jacket from the floor. “Ry? What’s going on?”
“Nothing. Not a goddamned thing. This Parr’s a fucking ghost. Wren can’t find a single reference to him anywhere, and she’s been on the dark web for the past three hours. Trevor’s coming up blank on Jessup too.”
“Shit.” Glancing over at Cara, who’s still standing at the balcony doors, her arms wrapped tightly around herself, I know what I have to do. But if I tell Ry about the man following us tonight, he’ll be over here in ten minutes, and Cara won’t ever forgive me. “Let me…” The words die in my throat, but I take a deep breath and try again. “Let me see what I can find.”
Ryker doesn’t say anything for a minute, and when he finally does, there’s a mix of shock and pride in his voice. “Are you sure you’re ready, Rip?”
“No. But it doesn’t matter if I am or not. This could burn all of us. And you and Dax…you’re my family.”
“Hooah,” he says quietly. “Brothers. Till the end.”
Cara
I don’t want to intrude on Ripper’s phone call, especially when his face shutters, all emotion vanishing in a single blink after he asked someone named Ry what was going on. But balconies trigger me. Even standing at the door looking out over Lake Washington, I remember the terror of Jessup standing over me, telling me I never should have eavesdropped on a man like him.
Still, the breeze helps mask his words, as does my pounding heart, which is almost the only thing I can hear.
He’s full of contradictions. This place is gorgeous. Top of the line appliances, a view to kill for, and a king-sized bed, perfectly made. It’s the most secure building I’ve ever seen. But the studio is smaller than my place, and I thought my apartment was tiny. How could I think he was homeless? He’s far from it.
“Cara?” he says from behind me, “what do you need to take your meds?”
“Oh, God. I forgot. What time is it?” My phone’s in my bag, not far from the door, and after traipsing through the UW campus for half an hour, then making our way back here, my usual routines have all gone out the window, and I feel like my entire life has been turned on its head.
“Almost one.”
