Page 116 of Bewitching the Beast
I can’t fall asleep.
I keep thinking about what I said at our wedding.
I vowed to fight for us.
My head is a mess of thoughts and arguments. I feel like I’vebeenfighting for us for years, but your fears are evidently stronger than me. Did I give up too soon? Am I wrong for needing the love of my life to stay true to who he is? Why didn’t you fight with me, Ash? Why didn’t you compromise with me? You’ve even admitted you would’ve done the exact same thing as me—so what the fuck could I have done differently?
You fucking bastard.
I want to hate you, but I love you too much.
I miss you every single hour of every single day.
I miss feeling protected by your possessiveness.
But I don’t miss feeling like a placeholder for a Little when your inner Daddy screams to be unleashed. I don’t miss the look in your eyes when all you can think of is ownership. Because I can’t be that man for you.
I screw my eyes shut and scrub my hands over my face.
I can’t fucking do this anymore.
