Page 145 of Mahogany: The Finale
Taking a deep breath, I turned and opened the door. When I went to walk out, I damn near collided with Crescent’s chest.
“What are you going to do about what?” He asked, staring down at me.
I pulled my lips into my mouth and looked away. “Um.”
He cupped my chin and turned my head to face him. With raised brows, his eye contact deepened. “Transparency.”
At the beginning of us, I was so private. I kept all of my thoughts bottled up. But these days, I was transparent. One day we were laying together, and I was, as always, in my head thinking about the future and he pulled my attention away from it. He asked me to be transparent with him. Said he didn’t need to know every little thing, but when I went quiet and drifted it made him a little nervous. I gave the man PTSD. So, from that day forward I promised to be open with him.
“I um…” I looked down, shook my head and then looked back up at him. “Crescent… I’m pregnant.” Before he could say anything, I jumped right in, trying to get ahead of his rejection before he had a chance to mention the abortion. “I know you don’t want a baby. I was already thinking about aborting it. I don’t?—”
“What?” He said, his tone dripping with confusion.
“I know you don’t want a baby. I’m sorry—I?—”
He cupped my face, kissed me on the lips and said, “Take a deep breath.”
I listened. I took a shaky deep breath, with my eyes locked on his. He brushed the pad of his thumb over my cheek and pressed his lips against my forehead. We stood there for a second, in silence.
He took a deep breath and finally said, “I don’t want you to get an abortion, Mo. But… the choice… it’s yours.”
“You don’t want me to get an abortion?” I asked, caught off guard.
He pulled away from the embrace and looked down at me with this baffled look. “Hell naw I don’t.” He paused. “I’ll keep it a buck with you though… after Nova I said I wouldn’t have any more kids. She was my one and done. But that was before you. Before us. I want whatever comes from you. You hear me? I want whatever comeswithyou, too.” He paused again and placed his hand on my flat belly. “I don’t want you to get rid of my seed. But if you feel like a baby right now is too much for you to carry, do what’s best for you. Just know… if you decide to keep it, you won’t have to worry about shit. I’m all in. In every single way. You won’t have to lift a finger, for real. I’m prepared to hire the best help. All around. At Couture, at your crib with your kids, during the pregnancy with this one. In every single way, Mo. I won’t lie—a nigga would be a little heartbroken if you do decide to abort it. But I don’t want you to make your decision based on how I feel.” He tilted my head back a little so we could stare deeper into each other's eyes. “You hear me? You don’t even have to make a decision right now. Sit on it. Let it marinate and?—
“Okay,” I softly said. “I’m keeping it.”
He immediately wrapped his arms around me.
In the middle of him talking, I heard a soft ‘yes’ in my head. Right after that, glimpses of what could be flashed through my mind. We were together. I was pregnant. Big bellied pregnant. The kids were happy. My sisters, my daddy, and friends,supportive. They were happy. And then I saw me in a hospital bed, surrounded by family and friends, a little buddled up baby resting in my arms. Crescent was happy, staring down at us with tears falling from his eyes.
That was it.
That’s what I saw. In my spirit I knew it came from God. The vision. He was showing me. Giving me a glimpse into a future I’d always been worried about. It was almost as if He didn’t want me to make another fear-based decision, so He gave me a little gift. Before I knew it, I was telling Crescent I’d keep it. And in my mind, I saw a smile and ‘people’ celebrating.
Gasping, I closed my eyes and for the first time since reading the positive result, felt a sense of calmness. Peace… finality.
“You know you gon’ be my wife, right?” Crescent said, his voice muffled by the side of my neck.
“Mmmhmm,” I mumbled with a light laugh.
“Dead ass.” He paused and pulled away from the hug. “I’m chilling. For now. But I want you to be more than my girlfriend, Mahogany. I want it all with you. Everything. But because I know this shit gotta be paced, I’m pacing. I want to sprint though.” We laughed and he pulled back, dropping to his knees. He placed his lips on my belly and sat like that for a while before saying. “This forever. I’m never letting up off you. Offy’all.”
A second later, I felt tears wetting my stomach. I caressed the nape of his neck, and we just stood there, like that, with him crying against my belly, and me crying, leaning against the wall behind me. Happy tears though.
I closed my eyes and thanked God for it all. The heartbreak, the struggle, that roller-coastery merry-go-round, and everything in between. The path was gravelly, full of potholes, sinkholes, and uncertainty but for the first time in a very long time—in forever, honestly—I felt like I was on mybestpath. One that would get me to that happily ever after I thought I’d never get.
I was getting it. And with the right person.
The End
