Page 29 of Irresistibly Alone
In his way—really, just with his eyes—he smiled back. “Most would call it remarkably foolish. My trust will, doubtlessly, at times be abused. But not by every person, and besides, who am Inotto be ill-used? It would be better, I think, to remain open to confidence in my fellow man and retain the respect and expectations of my dearest, loveliest wife, than to choose a safer caution and defence against knowing anybody.”
A voice in the crowd—she was fairly certain it was her uncle Gardiner—cried out, “Hear, hear!”
For a moment, her throat closed. No one present, except herself and possibly Georgiana, understood how he had been hurt and what the vow he had just made would cost him. What could she offer him in return for such a promise? She looked out at the crowd of friends, family, and neighbours. Was it her imagination that everyone appeared a bit warmer, a bit kinder than usual? Or was it only her own joy, colouring them all?
“I would like everyone here to know that Mr Darcy has already apologised, a number of times, for any poorly chosen words he might have spoken before learning that we in Meryton are the most honourable lot in England.”
Soft laughter greeted her words, as she thanked the company for coming to celebrate with them. “You can all see what perfections I shall have to endure. There are many who might remind him that he did not marry so high as he could have. However, in a man so good, it does not matter. No onecouldbe truly worthy of him, but I have him, and I shall keep him.”
He shook his head in both amusement and discomfiture at the applause of the company. Shortly thereafter, the guests began drifting out onto Netherfield’s terrace, separating into smaller groups.
Elizabeth could not fail to notice that several of her neighbours made their way to Darcy afterwards. She tensed a little, wondering whether his rash and reckless pledge had already borne ill fruits. Yet, it seemed only that they wanted to make themselves further known to him, reaching out with a hand of friendship. It took a much longer time than she had expected to extricate them both from well-wishers, and it was the afternoon before they found themselves in a carriage making its way towards London. As Colonel Fitzwilliam was returning Georgiana to his parents at Matlock, they were alone together for the first time since their engagement.
She suddenly felt a little shy. It seemed rather impossible that the beautiful man sitting beside her, holding her hand in silence, could actually be her husband.
“I have a wedding gift for you,” he said after several minutes, “although it is not ready yet. As soon as the weather clears, a new folly shall be constructed at Pemberley. I think you can guess its design in every particular.”
She looked up at him in amazement. “You are too generous, sir. I dare not present you with my simple offering now.”
He looked at her with interest. “Please do.”
From the seat beside her, she withdrew a bound notebook; he smiled.
“Is this one from your writing desk?” he asked.
“Yes. When you had it delivered to me at Longbourn, I knew at once what I wished to do with it.”
She handed him the notebook, slightly embarrassed, watching as he opened it to the inscription.
“‘With Appreciation to my Beloved’,” he read aloud, gazing up at her. “You have written your book after all.”
“It is the story of how I came to know your good heart.”
He raised a brow. “It is a most unusual tale. I would think you might better wish to forget some of those memories, however.”
“Not at all. I told you, at my lowest point, when I believed I might never again be able to recognise ‘anything lovely or praiseworthy or of good report’, that it might help to have a book containing long lists of possibilities.”
“So I recall.”
“We cannot promise each other that we shall never again face times of misery or despair. If we do, I want us to remember thatweexperienced a miracle during just such a time. I want to keep this memory within reach, always. I think it would be much more effective in renewing hope and gratitude than a book of random lists.”
He did not respond, only began reading. After several minutes, he carefully closed the notebook.
When he said nothing, Elizabeth began to feel uncomfortable. When the idea had occurred to her, it had seemed a way of expressing her love, but perhaps it was merely childish.
“It is odd, is it not?” she asked him, once she gathered her composure. “We are now free to live the rest of our lives together, and yet we do not really know each other. The important aspects of character we understand, I believe, but there are many details between the vows we made this morning and every other day that follows. Where do I even begin?”
In a motion as surprising to her as the first time he had lifted her over the stile, he set the notebook aside and swept her up and onto his lap. With an astonishing competency, he removed her hat and gloves and kissed her just as he had in the folly—slow and impassioned, worshipfully, and sweetly. There was no restraint needed, but he took his time exploring her mouth, her throat, behind her ears and across her collarbones with a teasing sensuality and tender control.
“Let us start with this, and I believe the rest will come to me as we go along,” he said, his deep voice solemn, but the smile was back in his eyes, crinkling at their corners, as she wrapped her arms around him.
“I am already learning, I suppose, how my husband thinks,” she said, not hiding her return smile. “What is most important to him, his needs, and his desires.”
His gaze grew serious, and he set one hand upon the notebook. “I shall treasure this, my love, above every volume in Pemberley’s library. I hope you will never again be so utterly alone as you were during the period it covers—not simply because we are married, but that I shall grow more attuned toyou, to your needs and your desires, with every passing day. If I ignore or neglect any of them, I hope you will tell me. If you wonder what is most important to me? It is you, always you. Forever you.”
“‘And the two shall become one’,” she quoted softly. “An ever deeper understanding with a lifetime’s worth of loyalty and effort. I suppose that is what it truly means to never be alone.”
His mouth descended to hers and then there were no more words, as they began life’s journey together.
The End
