Page 72 of Storm Warning
We are engulfed in a crowd of costumes, from cops and a pirate to some playboy bunnies. Everyone dances and sways to the beat of bass, all seeming to have the time of their lives.
Kaylee and I make it toward the middle of the makeshift dance floor and I eye her up and down. Her body is perfect, so perfect that I can’t keep my hands away. I find myself behind her, pulling her into me as I glide my hands down her curves. Her ass presses against my cock as she sways to the music, and my hands trail around her waist. As angelic as she looks, all I want to do is slide my hands between her thighs. Had I been a couple more drinks in, I probably would have, even if only fora second. Tilting her chin up to expose her neck, I crouch to pepper kisses along her jawline.
“You look so fuckin’ hot,” I whisper.
I try to advance toward her lips, but my stupid crown gets caught in her wing. Standing up straight, I yank it from its place, tossing the stupid hunk of plastic over the crowd and into the dirt. The thing was annoying anyways.
“Next time, we need to think through how our shits gonna interfere,” I chuckle.
Our bodies grind against each other as we dance, and I enjoy the intimacy of it, but I know my desire would deepen if we were alone and wore a lot less layers. None to be exact. I’m already turned on and it would take very little convincing to make that happen.
Her smile looks hesitant. “Next time?”
“Ya plannin’ on leavin’ me by next Halloween?”
The smile on her lips lessens and I wish I could see into her thoughts. “No, I’ve just never planned that far.”
My brow furrows. Is that code word for her maybe having doubts about us? Sawyer and Daisy appear in the crowd though, aiming straight for us. She extends her hand, tugging Kaylee in her direction, preventing me from responding at all. Disappointment gleams in her eyes. Well, fuck. Everything’s been going so good…or at least I thought.
“Can we dance with you?” Daisy is oblivious to what’s happening, as she sways to the music.
“I’ve got to use the restroom.” Kaylee responds as she turns to leave.
I touch her shoulder and she smiles back at me, but I notice immediately how fake it is. It lacks the light her true smile always renders. I barely get the chance to give her a nod before she makes her way through the crowd, not giving me another glance. I bite back a curse. It doesn’t take a genius to know that something is on her mind, I’m just not fully sure what.
44
KAYLEE - OCTOBER 30, 2004
Doubt hasto be the kind of self-deprecation you get through years of trauma. Right?
Like a shock collar, just when you think you’ve found happiness, something jolts you back to reality.
Rhett definitely didn’t mean to piss me off when he mentioned next Halloween, it’s just dreaming too far ahead scares me. We aren’t even a couple. At least, not officially. There’s been no going steady comment, we haven’t verbally committed to anything other than enjoying our time together. Hell, I haven’t met his family and don’t even know if they know I exist.
A future would be nice, but it’s hard to think of one when I feel so lost in the present.
I stare back at my reflection in Sawyer’s bathroom mirror and fake a smile. For fuck’s sake, I’m dressed as an angel, this is a Halloween party, and I should be having fun, yet here I am trying to convince myself there’s a problem where there isn’t.
Why am I like this? Why can’t I just let myself live life more freely? Why is my default setting always to run or shutdown when I start to overthink things instead of just communicating what’s wrong? I wish I could stop ruining shit so it can’t ruin me.
No, screw this. I’m not going to do this. Not tonight. Fishing through my purse, I pull out my sparkle roller ball and run it over my chest and collar bone. I look hot, and I am not going to let this look be wasted, all because I panicked over Rhett thinking forward. That clearly means that he sees a future with me, not an end.
I adjust my outfit, making sure I look better than when I left, because there’s a hot as fuck cowboy—well, Prince Charming—outside waiting to sweep me off my feet and I’m going to let him.
Heading out of the bathroom and back toward where I left my friends, I can’t seem to find them. Costumes make the crowd that much harder to navigate, until I see Daisy and Sawyer off grabbing another drink. I wave and look for Rhett.
My heart sinks when I spot him toward the barn with a girl dressed as a mermaid. A red wig spills down her back, a tiny, little, purple shell bra and nearly just as tiny sequin skirt to match. From here, she looks gorgeous and he looks too comfortable.
Who is that?
I watch from across the bonfire as the girl laughs with Rhett. They both have smiles on their faces that either say they are familiar with one another or want to be. As she speaks, their expressions shift to something more serious. Rhett leans against the side of the barn, placing his arm high against the wall, a position that, to me, looks intimate. Anger rushes through me. His concentration on her pisses me off as I try to shake the feeling.
I wonder how many times Mom saw Dad in a similar situation. How often he engaged with women right out in publiclike she wasn’t there with him. I feel my heart crack a little, and even further at the fact that I gave someone enough of me that this, too, could be my reality.
Jealousy is a trait I’ve done my best to avoid, yet here it is, creeping in, sinking its fangs into my emotions. Distrust surfaces, whether he deserves it or not, a lingering reminder of how easily my happiness could all just be a sham. And that I gave someone a bit more of me than I ever intended.
Maybe this says a lot more about me than him. Maybe I’m overthinking this, but what if I’m not?
