Page 63 of Storm Warning
“My family also has a ranch. Well, what’s left of one. But there was a fire when we had a drought that destroyed most of the pastures and made us lose a good portion of our herd. My parents did what parents do, though. They told my brother and I there wasn’t anythin’ to worry about and that we would be back on our feet in no time. And like an idiot, I was too busy ridin’ the highs of my wins, partyin’ it up, practicin’ and aimin’ for the biggest title, instead of checkin’ in. Like,reallycheckin’ in on how things were goin’. I missed the signs so many damn times.”
And here was the part that hurt the most still. The part I still was paying for months later. The part that changed my life forever. “The day of my last ride, I lost focus long before I ever even showed up to the event.”
Kaylee looks up at me, her chin resting on my chest, hazel eyes swirling with confusion. “I’m not going to lie, that shocks me.”
“You, me, and the whole arena, Sweetheart.”
“What happened? What was different? Did you find out about their money situation?” The questions come, but none of them seem accusatory or harsh, merely curious, concerned.
“I found some mail on the table that basically said the ranch not onlywasn’tfine, but was teeterin’ on the edge of not bein’ ours at all.” I softly glide my fingers through her silky hair. “Anyway, I learned my weakness that day.”
“And what’s that?” Her voice is soft, gentle. Gentler than I think I’ve ever heard it.
I’ve relived this moment damn near every day in my head. I’ve dreamed about it. It’s haunted my every decision since. And still, talking about it never seems to get any easier. Ignoring the ache in my chest, I manage to get out, “That day I learned that my talent could only take me so far, and that concentration is worth its weight in gold, right down to the damn buckle.”
I blow out a breath, my head aching at the reminder of my accident, but somehow I’m more tormented that a lack of concentration is the only reason it happened. “I fell off short on my run. Hellfire, that was the bull, was a special kind of pissed. He tried more than once to stomp on me as I aimed to exit the arena.”
Her body tenses all the way to her finger tips. I consider stopping right there, telling her he hit me and that was the end of it, but I know that’s not what she wants. And honestly, I want her to know everything about me and hope one day she will open up enough to share things too.
“I don’t know if you’re familiar with bulls, but his name suits him. The anger in his eyes haunts me till this day. Not sure if he was born with the name and just grew into or if they changed it once they saw him compete. But I think he thought of me as real competition, since I was the only person to ever win on him. When I blundered my ride I think it pissed him off even more than it pissed me off.”
“I guess it was a special bond, huh? A scorned ex,” she jokes.
“Of sorts.” I laugh, countering her joke with another as I say, “He really put his heart into Ride Or Die. Hit me from behind and I’m not goin’ to lie I thought I was dead.”
She tenses again, this time shifting her body into a hold that feels more like a hug. “You’re okay though, right? Like, the doctors said you’re okay to live how you want? Or are you not allowed to go back because it was so bad?”
I continue to run my fingers through her hair as I release a huff. “Yeah, I’m okay. I was cleared a few weeks after the incident. I actually talked to a friend the other day about all of this. He asked me the same question. My answer didn’t quite honor how handsome and funny I am, but it did make me feel ready to go back. This time with a new outlook on why I’m there to begin with.”
“And what’s that?”
“Because I love it.”
Love requires work. It always has and it always will.
My mind starts to reel about how long it’s been since I rode a bull. Since I climbed over the bars of the bucking chute, and took off into the arena.
Kaylee trails her fingers over my chest, her touch soothing. “You shouldn’t leave the things you love.” There’s a sadness in her voice, and I can’t stop the pain that radiates through me at the depth behind her words.
“You’re right about that, Angel.”
“Then why did you? Don’t tell me Mr. Casanova himself was scared. I won’t ever believe that, you’re too stubborn.”
The dirt beneath my body shifts as I roll to my side to look at her.
I shrug my shoulders, and blow out a sigh, disappointed in how easily I gave it all up. But at the time, there was so much missing from my life. I wasn’t giving up, but rather making space for what I didn’t have. Even though it took a while for me to realize that. “The day I woke up in the hospital, the room was empty. No nurses or doctors. No one I knew sitting there watching me. Just me and the sounds of machines, the hustle of whatever happened outside my door, and a whole bunch of fuckin’ flowers.”
Her gaze locks on mine with quiet intensity. She doesn’t see the bull rider or the construction worker. She just sees me as me. Validation that this moment, and every moment with her, is and has been worthwhile.
I can’t help but smile as I continue. “I remember lookin’ around and thinkin’, well this sure ain’t how I pictured heaven.” I snicker, remembering how bright the room was, but also how cold it felt to be there all alone. “My first thought wasn’t about my ride, it wasn’t about what to do next, it was about the empty chair beside me. I had rodeos, I had money there andgone, damn, I even had fame, but it was that chair, and only that chair, that stood out to me. Ma and Duke came in shortly after. I won’t lie, I don’t even know how long it was, just that it felt like an eternity.”
She strokes my cheek, leaning in to kiss my lips before retreating to scan my face again. Her touch is warm and makes me feel whole in a way I can’t describe.
“Ma dropped her cup of coffee and screamed. Duke shushed her and told her to remember I hit my head, and then Dad came strollin’ in a little too fast and slipped on the damn coffee.” A chuckle escapes me once more. Honestly, we’re lucky Dad didn’t wind himself up into a hospital bed right beside me.
She pulls her arm back in, placing it beneath her cheek. A faint laugh escapes her lips. “Sorry, that’s not funny, none of it is funny.”
“No, Dad getting laid out even sparked a laugh out of me, which was not so comfortable with a ventilator down my damn throat.”
