Page 120 of Christmas Fling
The air between us seemed to shimmer and hazy, uninvited memories of the night before flashed through my mind.
‘I only agreed because the thought of having you once was better than never having you at all,’ Callum murmured. ‘Laura, I’ve been holding myself back from you since that first night on the train. You don’t do relationships and I don’t do one-night stands, I knew if anything happened between us, one of us would get hurt. Do you have anyidea how long I stood in front of your door last night before I decided I could live with the pain?’
I snatched in a breath, letting my hair fall in front of my face, the weight of his gaze too heavy to bear. Callum crooked a finger underneath my chin, lightly sketching his thumb over my trembling lips.
‘Now I think about it, I’ve an idea of what I wanted to say to you when we got to London,’ he said. ‘I reckon I’d have tried to convince you to give us a go. You’ll be busy at work, I’ll be busy in Paris. We’ll text and talk on the phone when we can. I’ll get the train back to London on my days off, you can come to see me if you want to. What do you say?’
‘I suppose there are a few things I’d like to say,’ I whispered, voice breaking against his fingertips. ‘Only I don’t know where to start.’
‘Dealer’s choice.’
His fingers grazed my jaw as he slid his hand around my head and tilted it backwards. When my eyes met his, I couldn’t hold back the tears that pricked behind them, one, then two, full, fat teardrops spilled over my bottom lashes, enzymes, lipids, metabolites, electrolytes and protein. Callum wiped them away with his thumbs, both hands tenderly cradling my face.
‘My career is demanding,’ I said with a tiny sniff. ‘And passing my exams has to be my priority.’
‘Wouldn’t have it any other way,’ Callum replied. ‘No question about it.’
‘But,’ I added tentatively, ‘Ihavebeen rethinking that whole no relationships thing.’
‘God, I knew I was good,’ he said with a low whistle. ‘I didn’t know I wasthatgood.’
‘Since before last night,’ I added, punching him lightlyin the stomach even as a tremor ran all the way through my body. ‘Although admittedly, your performance didn’t hurt.’
A sly half-grin crept onto his face.
‘Knew it.’
‘It won’t be easy,’ I said. ‘Mostly because I’m worried we’re both idiots.’
He laughed and his fingertips combed through my hair, sending tingles shooting all over my body.
‘We McClays have never been afraid of hard work, especially when there’s a worthy reward at the end of it.’ Winding my hair around his hands, he tugged gently, splintering my concentration into a thousand tiny shards. ‘I stayed awake all night watching you sleep because I couldn’t stand the thought of our one time being over. Laura, I’ll find a way to make this work. All you have to do is keep being yourself.’
They were beautiful words but were they enough?
‘I don’t know about that,’ I said into his chest. ‘I’m not always brilliant at saying what I’m thinking. Or feeling. Or telling people what I want. And when anyone gets too close, I have a tendency to push them away.’
He cocked his head across to the other side of the bar. ‘What about your pals over there?’
‘Can you imagine trying to push Desi away?’ I replied without looking. ‘I was not given a choice in our friendship. She was tenacious.’
‘Then I’ll be tenacious,’ Callum promised. ‘I’ve fucked up a lot of things in my life, wasted a lot of time, all because I didn’t say exactly what was on my mind. I won’t do it again. I won’t do it with you.’
That pleading half-smile again. It would be the death of me.
‘What do you say?’ he asked, hopeful but still uncertain. ‘Do we have a deal?’
I slid my hands over his heart, feeling for the beat that matched my own, no longer erratic and afraid but certain and steady. Six short days and everything had changed. Not me, not really, I was the same person I’d always been only now, thanks to Callum, I felt more myself than ever. Whatever we’d done before, whoever we thought we were or had pretended to be, that was the past, and the thought of living a life without him, without seeing him, talking to him, touching him. was so much more frightening than the risk of letting him in. Steady grey or dangerous Technicolor.
There was really no choice to make.
‘We have a deal.’
With my hands cupping his face, I rose up on my tiptoes, rough stubble under my palms, his eyelashes flickering against my cheek, his firm, warm lips brushing against mine …
‘Excuse me!’
Graham’s voice cut through the moment and I jerked away, heart in my throat. With a mischievous grin, he pointed at the ceiling.
‘Can you show some decorum?’ he said sternly. ‘That’s no’ mistletoe you’re standing under.’
Directly above us, a bunch of holly hung from one of the rafters, shiny green leaves and plump berries, red instead of white.
‘Sorry, Graham,’ I replied, pulling Callum’s face back down to mine. ‘Starting right now, we’re making our own traditions.’
And I intended to keep them, always.
