Page 80 of The Fall of Iris Henley
“Hey.” I bite my lip, suddenly not sure what to say. I really did fuck up—I put her in danger, sharing her secret, even if it was Max who had exposed it. But the way she turned on me still hurts.
“Didn’t see you at school today,” I finally say.
“Yeah, I’ve been… not ready to go back,” she says. “People have been weird since homecoming. I’ve been getting lots of messages blaming me for Carter being benched.” She looks up, like she’s studying the face of the building behind us. “I guess I know how you felt, now.”
“You heard what happened this weekend? About Max?” I ask. “How he…”
“Yeah, I heard.” She takes a deep breath and then looks mein the eyes. “I’m sorry I ditched you, Iris. I… I didn’t ever believe that you were involved, but the stuff with Carter…”
“Yeah, I get it. I swear, I never told Max—he just, he knew because he’s a fucking sneak, I guess. But I’m sorry too. I’m sorry you got caught in the crossfire.” I tug at a lock of my hair, hesitating. Then I step forward and put my arms around her.
She’s a little stiff in my arms, but then she hugs back. It’s so different from the way she used to hug. Say what you like about Hayden, but she’s always been warm. This is almost like a handshake, a formal truce agreement. The thought makes me suddenly, unspeakably sad.
She’s the first to let go. “I’ve got to get home. I’ve got to finish another goddamn essay. I don’t know why I took AP English.” She gives a little laugh. “I still think you should be a guidance counselor. Next semester I’m going to ask you to pick slacker classes for me.”
I still think you should be a guidance counselor?
Where have I heard that? Because I don’t think it was from her.
The smile feels frozen on my face.That’s what you get for taking calculus. Should’ve taken slacker classes like me. Choir, pottery, printmaking. Find an art teacher that looks extremely stoned all the time, easy A.
Has anyone ever told you you should be a guidance counselor?
Thank you, I like to be inspirational.
I know the words by heart because I read and reread them so often. I treasured every word. I was grateful for every quip.
Back when I thought it was Jonah I was talking to.
CHAPTER 45
MONDAY, OCTOBER 24, 7:55PM
VARDA’S MAIN STREET
“Okay,” I say. “Good luck with it.”
Big fake smile. A thing I’ve practiced for years on the cheer team. But is it too big? I tone it down a little. I try to look normal. What is normal? I don’t know but I have to try, because I don’t want her to see it in my eyes, on my mouth, the fact that I know. The fact that she’s the catfish.
But her expression looks somehow fixed and frozen too. Her eyes are too wide, strangely shiny. She stands there for a long moment, motionless.
I should say something light, dumb, dismissive, so she can believe I didn’t just hear what I heard. My mind just spins like a broken machine, though, like blank, hissing tape, like static. Finally she nods slowly. “Yeah. It’ll be fine. I’ll finish it and it’ll be fine.”
“See you at school?” I ask, groping behind me for the diner’s door handle.
“Yeah, see you soon,” she says.
Inside, I sit back down next to my cold coffee and myhalf-eaten pie. Her form has already vanished down the street. I pick up my phone. My thumbs hover uncertainly over the keyboard.
I open mychat historywith Max. I haven’t talked to him since Thursday, obviously. Which means the last thing he said to me was “Come on over.” Sure, come on over, Iris, and ruin your entire life. Come on over and let me see up close how much you’re suffering. Come on over and let me mine you for information I can use against you.
God, I was an idiot.
No, wrong. I’m done blaming myself for other people’s monstrosity. He was a fucking snake.
Still, he is the one person I know that can answer my question now.
Do you still have that security footage you told me about?
