Page 32 of The Fall of Iris Henley
Sorry if I sounded judgy. I’m just trying to understand.
It sounds like it’s complicated. I get it though. Trying to figure out how to help your friends when they’re hard to help.
What did your other friends think about Lynette’s drug use? Were any of them worried?
ME
People were worried, yeah, but also wanted to distance themselves.
JONAH
How so?
ME
I mean a lot of the time people don’t like it when someone in the friend group is falling apart because it makes them think about their own bullshit. Even now that she’s dead everyone’s got this invisible line between her mistakes and theirs. Like, Sophie’s a stoner, which isn’t a big deal, but when Lynette was out of control it made us all wonder if it was actually a big deal. Like if Lynette was kicked off the team Sophie should be too, if you’re being super honest with yourself. No one likes to think about that.
JONAH
Lynette was kind of a scapegoat
ME
yeah I guess so
ME
It’s the same with Hayden. People always talk about how Lynette was cheating with Rocky but Hayden has cheated on Carter at least three times that I know of. But no one says anything because Lynette’s there to point at.
JONAH
wow
His window goes still for a few minutes. I wonder if I’ve finally scared him off. The thought makes me more weary than sad, at least in this moment. Because I’ve been carrying these thoughts and doubts and secrets so long, and I’m tired of their weight. I know they make me look bad.
But it’s exhausting, trying to look good all the time.
After a few minutes, though, Jonah replies again.
JONAH
That’s a lot
It sounds like you’ve been hurting over this stuff for a long time
I draw in my breath. The fact that he’s still talking to me is nice. The fact that, having heard the worst things I think and feel, he still has some kind of sympathy for me? That feels like more than I could have asked.
Sometimes, it feels like more than I deserve.
DAY FIVE
CHAPTER 19
TUESDAY, OCTOBER 11, 2:03AM
HENLEY HOUSE
“I’m glad you came,” Lynette says softly.
