Page 7 of Beauty At Stake
“These are not Astaroth's eyes.” His face shifted again, his eyes going from green to blue. “But don't you think it's interesting that you saw him in me?”
I sighed. “I'm obsessed. There. I said it. I am obsessed with him. And it's not fair to the men I love. They've gone through so much to be with me. I just had a baby, for Christ's sake.”
“Why do humans always bring Christ into things?” Anu cocked his head. “He has nothing to do with their troubles. And yet they call on him, use his name when relieved or as the opposite. His name has become the panacea of expressions. But I suppose that holds true for my name as well. Or rather, my title.”
“Can we focus, please?”
Anu smiled. “You will not meet the same end as Jesus, Seren.”
“That's not why—ugh!” I tossed my hands up. “Just stop. Okay? Please, stop torturing Star and me. If you want to protect my heart, take this obsession away.”
“Very well.”
I blinked. “What?”
“You blame me for your attraction to Astaroth. I understand why, after what you've gone through with my sister. But a nudge from me is not like Danu's Call. Yes, I turned your minds toward each other. I made it difficult for Astaroth to walk away from you. But that was for you, Seren. It was for both of you. I gave you the excuse you needed to take what you want.” He leaned forward, his eyes glittering like diamonds. “What you need. Your husbands would have eventually accepted Astaroth because I pushed you together. Now, you'll have no excuse and no way to comfort each other. You and Astaroth will have to confront the truth in your hearts and then walk away from it. Your honor demands it. And that will leave you both suffering forever.”
I shivered, knowing he was right. Of course, he was. It was a fact I'd already accepted. Danu had even mentioned it.Anu was nudging us, but he'd have nothing to work with if Star and I didn't already want each other.
“I know I have genuine feelings for Star,” I said. “But that's life. You can't always have what you want. Without you turning this into an obsession, we'll be capable of walking away. And nothing lasts forever, not even suffering.”
“I think you'll discover that you're wrong about most of what you just said. So, let me ask you this; are you sure you want me to remove the compulsion?”
I opened my mouth, and he held up a hand. “Think first, Seren.”
My throat went dry. If I said no, it would mean that I wanted Star—that I wanted him despite what it would do to my husbands. It would be an admittance of . . . something I didn't want to admit. But if I said yes, that I wanted Anu to stop interfering, it would mean confronting everything head-on, with no excuses. And Star would be . . .
“Anu completed my thought by saying, ‘He’d be lost to you.’” “You will never have him. You will never see the future you could make together. The children you are meant to have with him.”
“Children?” I whispered, something twisting inside me. “Children I'm meant to have with him?”
“Yes, Seren. I see many paths for you. I'm trying to lead you down the one that will bring you the most happiness. And it also happens to be the path to peace.”
“You had to go there,” I muttered.
“I don't mean to burden your heart with the fate of worlds. That's not what I'm saying. You can hold the peace without Astaroth by your side.”
“Good.”
“You will just suffer a bit more.”
“Son of a bitch!”
Anu chuckled. “Make a decision. I will abide by it. You know I don't like to interfere. I did this for you—a gift to my chosen one.”
“Great. Now, you're making it sound as if you've been doing me a favor.”
Anu, now a very pale man, lifted a blond brow.
“You've been doing this for us,” I said.
“Yes.”
“And the children?”
Oh, fuck. Anu was getting to me with kids that hadn't even been conceived yet. But when he first said those words, an image of Star's face came to mind—of how he looked when he stared down at Miri in my arms. I'd do anything for my husbands. Anything. And yet, I'd do even more for my children. Evidently, that included those who hadn't been born yet.
Then Anu said the words that sealed my fate. “If you do not marry Astaroth, they will never exist.”
