Page 113 of Beauty At Stake
I leaned back as my mind spun. Then it settled. Focused. “And you think that Anu's nudging me toward Star is a part of that plan?”
“I think it's a part of a similar plan.” Sever crossed his arms and lifted his chin. “I think he wants Heaven and Hell to worship him as Earth does.”
“Holy shit!” Daxon's whisper turned into a growl.
“Children, please.” King Keir leaned forward while keeping a hold of his wife's hand. “Stop this. You are not gods.”
We all looked at my father in various degrees of surprise.
“It's hubris to think that you can understand the thoughts or even the plans of either god. Their minds are so far beyond ours that they are unfathomable. It is not for you to ponder those plans or question them. It's for you to remember that they created you. They are, in essence, our parents. And as our parents, they deserve our respect and loyalty.”
A shiver ran over my arms, and I knew Anu was there, listening to my father with approval. He had been with me earlier too, when I had spoken of our bond—when I had said that Anu would never forsake me. The same had happened with Danu many times. When I defended her, she showed her support. She let me feel her love. But my father wasn't a child of Anu. And God didn't have a way to show his approval except through me.
“He appreciates your words,” I said to my dad. “And I agree with you. To a point.”
My father lifted his brow. “Seren, you've let all this power go to your head. You are a queen, yes, but not a goddess.”
“I know exactly who I am, Dad. I lost myself for a while, but I think this experience with Anu has opened my eyes. I can see myself clearer now.” I looked around the circle and smiled.“I'm a wife, mother, daughter . . . and a soldier.” I ended my circling stare with my father and lifted my chin. “ Currently, I fight for Anu. But I am not a foot soldier who does what she's commanded no matter what. I am general, and I will question commands, even those that come from a god. I will question them until I'm certain that my actions aren't just righteous in God's eyes, but in my own as well. It's not hubris. It's wisdom. And it's morality. The Gods made us, yes. They deserve our respect and when they do wrong, they deserve to be forgiven. Usually.” I glanced at Sever. “But they made us who we are for a reason. They gave us souls to nourish or stain. Our choice. I'm lucky enough to have a pure soul that takes neither nourishment nor stain. But that doesn't mean I'll blindly obey either of the Twin Gods. It means that I have even more freedom to do whatIthink is right.”
My father smiled at me as my husbands applauded.
When the clapping stopped, Dad said, “I concede. And I apologize for calling you arrogant.”
“No, Dad. Don't apologize.” I leaned forward to clasp his free hand and squeeze it. “I need you to be my father. They'll tell me what they think.” I jerked my chin at my husbands. “And I'll always value their opinions. But what you say holds the weight of a parent with me. And I need that. I need you to point out when I do something stupid or cruel. Tell me when I act the fool or become too full of myself. Please. Never hold back. I value your advice and opinions.”
“Seren,” Dad whispered and stood up.
I got up with him and went into his arms. “I love you, Dad.”
“I love you too, my sweet, smart girl. Well done.” He leaned back to look at me. “I don't say this enough—I'm proud of you. You built a life that surpassed all my hopes for you. Your mother, wherever she is, is beaming with pride and pleasure. I promise you that.”
“Aw, Dad!” I pushed at his chest. “Now, I'm crying.”
He chuckled and wiped my tears away. “Good. I missed so many of your tears. I never got to do this with you when you were little. So, I'll take them now. I'll take them gladly.” He hugged me again. “My daughter, the champion and challenger of the Gods.”
I nestled in close and beyond my father's embrace, I felt another set of fatherly arms holding me tightly.
Chapter Forty-One
When we left Thailand, my family and I all went to Twilight. We decided to spend the night there together and maybe a couple of days after that. We liked to take every opportunity to get together as a family.
My bed was very full that night—full of handsome men and love. The more I held my husbands, the more relief I felt to be done with the Star situation. Amid the slide of flesh, scratch of claws, and whispered words of love, I let Star go. I released the dream and held onto my reality. And I made a wish for him—that he would know this happiness too. It was an honest wish, with nothing held back. I loved Star. That love would remain. But I knew now we could both accept that it wouldn't grow into something more than it was.
I would continue to question the Gods. And I would continue to fight for them if I saw fit. But what happened in my bed was my business alone. No matter if they had a hand in putting these men into my life, they didn't get a say in who I chose to be intimate with. This was mine. Mine and Tiernan's. And Raza's. And Killian's. And Daxon's. And Severriel's.
And no more ands, damn it!
I fell asleep wrapped in love, but I woke up while the stars were still shining. There was a strange urgency in my chest,driving me out of bed. It clawed at me, tearing me away from my sleeping husbands. I crawled out from between them and stood at the foot of the bed, listening for something. Anything. A clue to why I was feeling so tense.
Only the sweet sounds of my men's breathing came to me. And yet, still, there it was—that feeling that something was wrong. Someone was in trouble.
“Star,” I whispered.
Without thought, I pulled on a robe and laleked to him. I appeared in a dark room, only fire lighting it. The shadow of a massive bed loomed to my right, but I went forward, toward the flames. Toward him.
Star hunched in his chair, staring into the fireplace. He didn't have a bottle beside him this time. It was just him, dressed in a pair of loose trousers, undone at the waist. The fire bathed his perfectly sculpted chest in warmth, but his expression was cold. Shut off.
And then his nostrils flared, and his head jerked in my direction. “Seren?” He shot to his feet.
