Page 88 of Up In Flames
“Yes. She knew I could overcome Death and save Ara. Maybe she even knew that I would lose him again. This could all be part of my destiny.” I shrugged. “But never mind that. You see me as only my lovers do, and you reached me through your words. I got to know you without all ofthisgetting in the way.” I motioned at him. “Without the physical hindering me. And that was a gift. Thank you for being so open with me. I can't imagine how hard that was for you.”
“It wasn't hard at all. Not at first. I knew you would be kind and discreet. You'd tell the others but not share what I wrote. I trusted you.”
“And then?”
“And then you never looked at me. You never used the clues I left to find me.” He shrugged. “I thought perhaps you didn't care. Or that you had figured it out and weren't interested. I started to doubt what I saw in you.”
“Vexen, I'm just not as smart as you give me credit for.”
Keltyr burst out laughing as Vexen scowled. I gave Kel a shushing look.
“Sorry,” Kel said. “You're very smart, Ember. But you can be less so when it comes to romance.”
“I haven't exactly had a lot of practice,” I muttered.
“I know, love.” Kel kissed my cheek. To Vexen, he said, “Give him a break, Tiger. He's so clueless when it comes to love that even handing him clues won't help. You gotta bash this one over the head with affection. Fuck, I did that from the beginning, and it still took forever for him to realize that I was serious about him.”
“I'm not that bad,” I whined. “You were too flirtatious.”
“I won't be so subtle in the future,” Vexen said. “And since you say you don't need time, would you like to have lunch with me?”
“Not to ruin the romance, but I don't want him leaving the citadel right now,” Rath said.
“We could grab our plates and eat in the garden,” I suggested.
Vexen grinned. “I'd like that.”
“Ember.” Rath took my arm. “Are you sure you're ready for this?”
“I am.”
Rath stared at me for a few long moments, and I felt his pain through our link. He had always been the steady one. He didn't like sharing me, but he accepted it because it was the only way we could be together. He tried to be supportive. But that didn't mean it didn't hurt.
“Rath, I love you.” I pulled him into a hug. “I've loved you from the moment I saw you. I just knew that you were important.”
“And you saved me,” he whispered.
“It's why I saved you.” I leaned back to meet his stare, his beautiful, lavender stare. “The Goddess led me to you. And she's leading me again. I'm sorry that it hurts you, but you must know that it doesn't change the way I love you.”
Rath cupped my cheek. “I wish I hadn't been so foolish and pushed you away.”
“You were meant to push. If you hadn't, I wouldn't have found Xae.”
Rath nodded and dropped his hand. “All right. Follow your heart, Ember.”
Chapter Forty-Five
Vexen and I found a place beneath the veil of a willow tree. I had fetched a blanket for us from the suite, and Vexen brought a brazier that he got from the kitchens. I lit a fire in the brazier using magic while he spread the blanket, then we settled on it, facing each other.
“This feels magical,” I murmured, staring at the snow-covered garden beyond the hang of willow branches.
Suddenly, the branches looked like bones, and the cold of winter was that of Death. I started to tremble.
“Ember!” Vexen grabbed my arm.
My stare shot to his. “I'm so sorry,” I whispered. “I . . . I just . . .”
“Need more time,” Vexen said firmly. “We shouldn't be doing this now. Rath was right.”
