Page 30 of Up In Flames
I shrugged. “He says I don't notice him.” I waved it aside. “I started getting these letters.”
“Letters? Love letters?”
“Yeah, and they—”
“Oh, how romantical.” Gray fluttered his lashes.
“This is why I said I wanted to talk!” I shoved his shoulder. “I seriously want your opinion.”
Gray finished chewing, staring at me as his expression went neutral. “All right. Tell me.”
“So, these letters are really, well, sweet. I really like this guy. Then they started getting sexy.”
“Erotic letters?” Graysen asked eagerly. “Can I read them?”
“No, motherfucker, you can't read them!” I punched his shoulder. “Listen.”
“Sorry.” He grinned. “Can't be helped. You just mentioned naughty letters to me. What did you expect?”
“Yeah, all right.” I rolled my eyes. “Can I go on now?”
“By all means.” He waved his hand out.
“It's put a bit of a strain on my relationship with Xae and Rath.”
“Just Xae and Rath? Not Kel and Taroc?”
“Kel and Taroc are handling it better. Rath and Xae want to read the letters, but I won't let them. They think they shouldbe a part of my romances because they have to accept my next lover too.”
Gray leaned onto an elbow and regarded me somberly. “Sorry, Ember, I know you love those guys, but . . .” He shook his head.
“What?”
“Fuck them,” he said. “And fuck that. Yeah, you get to be the one they all love, and maybe that's better than being one of the guys who has to share, but maybe it isn't. They don't know what you go through. You can try to tell them, but no one will understand. No one. They can't because there's no one else like you on the whole fucking planet, Ember.”
I let out a long breath. “Thank you, Gray. That both helps and makes me feel even more alone.”
Graysen snorted. “You're not alone. That's the fucking problem, isn't it? You'llneverbe alone. Fuck, Ember, you loved going recruiting with me because it got you away from them. Admit it.”
“Yeah, I did. It was nice to have a break.”
“And they don't get that,” he said. “I'm sure they try to understand, but they can't. They can't feel what you feel, especially since you're human. You don't have anyone here to relate to.”
“Great fuck, Gray!” I huffed. “That makes me sound really pathetic.”
“You're not pathetic, Ember. You're heroic. You're going to save our world. And that's a lot to bear. As much as you say that you won't be doing it alone, I know that it still feels thatway to you. None of them have this weight on them. They don't have to shake their asses to attract more lovers, then try to keep everyone happy. I mean, fuck, Em, how's your asshole? You all right down there?”
I burst out laughing.
Graysen chuckled with me. “I guess being immortal helps with that.”
“It does, but my poor little hole does get achy sometimes. I just yelled at them about it not too long ago.” I shook my head. “That was when I got my first letter.”
“Right, the letters.” Gray took a swig of water, then said, “They're yours, Ember. Don't share them unless you want to. And don't feel guilty about wanting this guy. You have to. It's your duty.” He grinned broadly. “Oh, what a glorious duty it is. I wish the Goddess had chosen me to save the world with my dick.”
“Yeah, yeah.” I rolled my eyes. “You were just sympathizing with me, but now you're back to envy.”
“Can't help it. I'm a pervert.”
