Page 19 of Up In Flames
“What the fuck?” he rushed over to me. “Why are you crying? What is that?”
I wiped away my tears and folded up the parchment. The thought of lying to him never occurred to me. “It's a love letter.”
Rath sat down beside me, his expression going blank. “A what?”
“A love letter. You know, a letter meant to woo—”
“Yes, I know what a love letter is,” Rath growled as he reached for it.
I pulled it away. “It's mine, Rath. Meant for me alone.”
Rath sat back, a wounded expression on his face.
“I'm sorry,” I whispered. “I . . . it feels wrong to share what he said to me with others. It's private.”
“I see.”
“Rath, it's nothing personal.”
“It is very personal, Ember.” His lavender eyes focused on the parchment as if he could read it if he tried hard enough. “I didn't think we'd be going through this again so soon.”
“He didn't sign it. We're not going through anything.”
“What?”
“It's anonymous.” I shrugged. “I think he's shy. Or maybe he wants me to look for him.”
“Look for him?”
“Yeah.”
“Like a game?”
I shrugged. “Maybe. Either way, nothing is happening yet.”
“Yet,” Rath whispered. “Dear Goddess, what did this man say to you that has you using the word yet?”
“This is my first love letter, Rath. It's special.” I chewed at my lip, trying to find the words to make him understand without hurting his feelings. “Maybe I shouldn't have told you about it. I don't want you to feel bad. I love you.” I took his hand. “This letter has nothing to do with our love.”
“I love you too,” Rath said and sighed. “But I think you should share that with us. This is a unique relationship, Ember. We need to be completely honest with each other. If you do take this man as your lover, we need to be a part of the formation of your relationship. And it starts with that.” He pointed at the letter.
My chest went tight. I felt a little petulant, like a child who didn't want to do as he was told. But also angry. “Why can't I have something for myself? And why must I share theformation of my relationships? You don't have to fall in love with him. That's on me!” I stood up and clutched the letter to my chest.
“Ember, we all bond with the men you bring into our group. You know that.”
“Yes, you bond with themafterI do. Taroc was faster because he agreed to share our first time. But with Kel, I bonded with him and then we brought him into your bonds later.”
“The timing hardly matters, Ember. We've talked about this. We must make these decisions—”
“No! I want to decide who I love! It's my heart!”
Yup, I was acting like a child now, but I didn't care. Rath was ruining something special. I had told him about it expecting him to be supportive and maybe even happy that there was a new prospect. After all, they had gone through a lot to get me to the point where I saw this arrangement as a blessing instead ofa curse. But I was forgetting about his magic evolving and how they hoped that when they all grew as strong as Rath, we'd be enough. That I wouldn't need another lover. But if that were the case, I shouldn't be drawn to another man.
“That's not how this works, sweetheart,” Rath said gently.
“But it should be. The Goddess told me to follow my heart. Not yours, Rath.Mine. I know I've gone along with what the rest of you want, but I've done it for you because I love you. It's not the way I want to do this.”
“What the fuck is going on out here?” Xaedren growled as he came into the sitting room stark naked.
