Page 65 of Up In Flames
“I think it might. He made it when he was himself and he gave it to me before Death took him.”
“What does that mean?” Taroc asked.
I ran a hand over my face. “We were talking. Aranren, he, he was crying. He . . .” I sniffed back the tears. “We had been talking about Death training me. He made me kill a tree and the horror of it broke through his hold on me. Just a little, but enough that when he withdrew, more of me returned than was usual. I told Ara about it, that it was something to give us hope, but he . . . he didn't think there was hope for him because he had never broken through as I had. He believed he'd been under Death's control for too long.”
“He's probably right,” Keltyr muttered.
I went on, ignoring Kel, “Aranren tried to kill himself several times.”
Keltyr blinked. “What?”
“He kept trying, but Death brought him back every time. That's when Aranren learned that the only way for him to die is through beheading.”
“Kinda hard to cut your own head off,” Xae muttered.
“Exactly,” I whispered. Then, in a stronger voice, I said, “He was upset, and I comforted him. Then he urged me to keep fighting, to keep feeling the horror and using it to regain more of myself. He pressed the pendant into my hand, but that's when Death returned. He heard what Ara said. Death went wild and took us both. Completely. Ara never got the chance to tell me what the pendant was for. I thought it was just a gift. I wore it, never knowing that it could get me through the ward. Not until today, when I freed Ara.”
“Hold on, you freed him?” Taroc asked.
“Briefly,” I said. “First, he helped me free myself.” I met their grim stares. “With love. I used our love to empower Spirit, and it freed me. It freed me, then blasted through Ara and freed him. I knew if I could just bind him in our love, draw him into our union, that his connection to my Spirit Magic would protect him from Death. But Death must have sensed what we were doing. He returned just as I sent my wraith forth and blocked it. Then he reclaimed Aranren.”
“So, binding Aranren to you would have ended the war?” Rath whispered.
“I believe it would have,” I said hollowly. “But Death was too quick. He formed a wall of shadows between us. I couldn't get through. Ara shouted at me—” I cleared my throat and started again, “He told me to fade. He shouted, 'The pendant,' and I knew he had given me a way through the ward. He was telling me he loved me when Death took him. He never got to finish. Still, I refused to leave without him. I was ready to fight. To help him fight. But then the shadows vanished, and I saw him. The Corrupter. I knew there was no reaching him at that point. I had to leave so I could come back and try again. So, I swore to him that I'd return. I told him not to lose hope. Then Ileft him,” my voice broke as I bent forward and covered my face, a little ashamed to cry for Ara in front of the other men I loved. “I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.”
“Don't be sorry.” Taroc pulled me into an embrace. “You aren't to blame for what happened. Don't cry, love.”
I pushed away from him. “But I haven't told you everything yet. I haven't told you what Death made us do. He was trying to make us fall in love so that I would bond with Ara. He—”
“We know, Ember,” Taroc interrupted.
Xaedren growled and hung his head.
I looked at Kel, then Rath. “You saw me kiss him.”
“Yes,” Rath said. “We assumed there was more to it.”
“There was, but we never bonded because I didn't truly love him. Not until I was back to being me.”
“You only think you love him,” Xae said. “You're confused because of everything Death made you do.”
“No, Xae. I'm not confused about the way I feel. I love Aranren. I told you, I freed him with my love. I was about to bond with him. I was seconds away from it, my wraith had already left my body when Death blocked it. And I couldn't have done that if I didn't—”
“All right.” Rath held up his hand. “We understand, Ember.”
“Fuck,” Keltyr muttered.
“I'm sorry,” I said. “I didn't mean to fall in love. But I think I was meant to. I kept hearing the Goddess in my mind, even when Death had me.”
“What did she say?” Taroc asked, his expression resolute.
“She said that my heart would never lead me wrong.”
“Right,” Xae muttered. “That.”
“I betrayed you.” I squared my shoulders. “You have every right to be furious with me. I'm so sorry.”
“Ember, we're not mad at you,” Rath said.
