Page 13 of Up In Flames
“Somewhere alone?” I lifted my brows. “Taroc, I could demolish him in a second. He's not going to hurt me.”
“It's not physical damage that I'm worried about.”
“What then? You think he'd say something to hurt me? He can do that anywhere.”
“I don't know.” His big hand played with his silverware. “I just don't like him. Something about him.”
I laid my hand over his fidgeting one. “All right. I'll be careful. And I won't let him touch me in any way.”
Taroc nodded.
“And you won't have to worry for long,” I said. “Fress will be finished soon. Then Caleb will leave the citadel.”
“I can't wait,” Taroc muttered.
“This is worse than your dislike of Graysen,” I said in surprise.
“I never disliked Graysen as a person,” Taroc said. “I disliked that you were attracted to him. I'm fine with him now. Caleb, however, I don't like. A lot. I like him even less after returning from the Goddess. And that makes me feel as if she supports my opinion.”
I made a scoffing laugh. “You think even the Goddess doesn't like Caleb? That's a bit much, Taroc. He's just a guy. A human.”
“He's a snake,” Taroc said, his tone grim enough to send shivers down my spine. “If it had been up to me, I never would have let him into the citadel.”
“I . . . I can't even . . . I don't know what to say to that,” I stammered. “Caleb is not a monster, Taroc. Do you know what we were talking about this morning? His guilt over being alive.”
“Guilt?”
“Yeah. He's upset that he lived when all those parents died. He said he wishes he could trade places with one of them.”
Taroc sighed deeply, but it wasn't a sound of concession or even sympathy. It was more annoyance. “Ember, you're notgoing to take what I have to say well. You can't see what I do. But I'm going to say it anyway, in the hopes that Caleb will mess up, and you'll catch a glimmer of his true self. Then you'll remember what I said and understand.”
“Taroc, he's a good guy.”
My lover leaned forward, locked stares with me, and said, “No, he's not, Ember. He's a fake. The things he says to you are all for show. For your reaction. He's working your sympathies, trying to get you to feel sorry for him.”
“To what end? He knows I'll never be with him sexually.”
“Does he?”
“Yes, Taroc!”
He held up his hands in concession. “Fine. Just remember what I said.”
“How can I forget?” I muttered.
Chapter Seven
I was still remembering what Taroc said later that night, while I lay in bed between Rath and Xae. Kel had joined us for some sex, then went to sleep in his room down the hall. Taroc had bowed out altogether, going to his room after we returned from Myar. He, like Kel, liked his space but still wanted to be nearby. So, he'd moved up from the fourth floor and into a room next to Keltyr's.
He's a fake.The words kept circling my brain. I wasn't worried about Caleb seducing me. To be plain, I wasn't interested and never would be. But the thought that a man I had once been intimate with and now considered a friend might be playing on my sympathies to get me into bed made me sad. I had become friends with a few of my old neighbors while they'd been living in the citadel but they were light friendships. Caleb's friendship wasn't light. He was someone I wanted in my life. I had intended on keeping in touch with him even after he had moved back to Fress. But if Taroc was right and Caleb was pretending to . . . no! He couldn't be that good of an actor. Taroc was still upset because of the time he had overheard Caleb talking about me and it had come between us. Yes, that was it. Jealousy could do terrible things to a person.
I went to sleep at last, but I slept fitfully and got up way too early the next morning. After sliding out from between mymen, I showered, got dressed, and went up to the roof to watch the sunrise. I rarely got to be alone, and I wasn't about to waste the opportunity.
The lavender sky transformed before me, slowly lightening to red, then orange, and, at last, the sun rose and turned the world gold. It made me feel small in the best way. As if my troubles were insignificant. The sun would rise tomorrow whether or not I made my boyfriends happy. It would set if we killed the Corrupter and set if we didn't. The sun knew nothing of us. It just shone, burning and granting its light to everyone equally.
Maybe I should learn to live in light as well.
Contemplating the world?Death asked.
