Page 75 of Inseparable
“He’s a growing boy, and I still remember how much food Devin used to put away at that age,” Mom remarks with a grin, leaning into Jon as he circles his arm around her shoulder.
“That was everything to do with the delicious food you cooked and the stunning company. I was always trying to delay the time when I had to leave,” Devin replies with a cheeky wink, staring in my direction as he stacks plates atop one another.
Mom smiles warmly at me. “I’m glad to see you doing so well, Devin. Angelina tells me you’re majoring in criminology, law, and justice, and taking art classes, and that you’ve stopped drinking. Your mom would be so proud.”
“That she would,” Jim adds, smiling sadly.
Devin clears his throat. “I’ve never had a chance to thank you, Natalie. For everything you did for me and Luc.” He bends down, hugging her. Tears well in my eyes. He whispers something in her ear, and Mom stands up, hugging him properly. She returns his whisper, tears pricking her own eyes.
I look away, not wishing to intrude on their intimate moment, happy that Dev seems so content and secure in himself.
“Want to stargaze with me?” he asks a few hours later, his eyes twinkling in expectation. A yawn slips out of my mouth as the movie credits roll on the screen. Jim is busy chatting to Mom and Jon, Luc has gone out with his buddies, and Cam has left to meet up with the girl he’s currently dating, leaving Dev and me to our own devices.
I take his offered hand, allowing him to pull me to my feet. “We’re going out on the balcony,” I tell Mom.
“Grab a couple of blankets,” she calls out. “The temperature’s due to drop significantly tonight.”
We’re out on the balcony, sitting on bean bags, wrapped up warmly as we stare up at the inky-black canvas in the sky. A light smattering of stars streak across the dark skyline. I’m sipping on my glass of red wine, and Dev’s drinking a soda. “This is the first Thanksgiving night in years that I haven’t been wasted,” he admits, taking my free hand in his.
“Do you miss it?” I look at our conjoined hands, savoring the warmth passing from his body to mine.
He pauses considerably before replying. “Sometimes I could literally kill for a drink, but I don’t want to fall down a slippery slope. I don’t like the person I am when I drink, and maintaining my progress is more important than any temporary high. I was sick of partying and…”
He doesn’t need to say it. We both know what he means. Talk of partying and drinking and screwing only serves to remind me of this time last year. My heart aches in remembrance, and I look away, not wanting him to see the pain etched on my face.
He repositions his bean bag, wrapping his arms around me from behind and pulling me into his chest. “I hate that I hurt you,” he whispers, pressing a kiss to my temple. “Please tell me you know all that shit I said last year was just drunken talk.”
I shrug, still not looking at him. “Some people say the truth comes out when you’re drunk.”
He twists me around in his arms, forcing my face to his. “Maybe that’s true for some people, but not in this case. I didn’t mean any of those horrible things I said to you last year. Nothing could be further from the truth.” He cups my face. “I’ve messed up pretty bad with you, but our time hasn’t started yet.” He presses a feather-soft kiss to my forehead, and an embarrassing little whimper flies out of my mouth. Just that one touch has my body thrumming with need. Devin has always had this unerring power over my body. Whether it’s a subtle touch or one of his intense looks, he turns me into a mass of quivering cells any time he turns his attention on me. No one has ever affected me so potently.
He drags in a gulp of air. “I wanted you,” he whispers over my mouth. “I wanted to make love to you. I wanted to be your first, and I’ve kicked myself so many times for walking away, yet I can’t regret it either, because you deserved better than that version of me.”
I peer deep into his eyes, seeing so much emotion there. My heart is doing a funny little jump in my chest. “I wanted it to be you, but I can’t have any regrets either because that’s as good as implying I regret sharing the experience with Ayd.”
A pained expression darts across his face. “If it couldn’t be me, I’m glad it was him, even if thinking of it makes me want to swing for him, but I can’t fault him for being there for you when I wasn’t. I’m so sorry I let you down.”
I caress his cheek, talking softly. “We’ve got to stop doing this. Stop focusing on the past. We can’t change it and it only makes both of us sad. I want to focus on the here and now.”
“Not the future?” He arches an inquisitive brow, amusement flickering in his eyes.
“No. I live in the present now. The future is too unpredictable.”
His hands meander through my hair, and he cups the back of my neck in a firm grip. My hands land lightly on his waist. “I like the here and now,” he rasps. “There is nowhere in the entire galaxy I’d rather be in this moment than here with you.”
“Ditto. You’ll always be one of my all-time favorite people, Dev.”
He leans in, his lips brushing my cheek as his mouth makes a round trip to my ear. “What if I told you I want to be your most favorite person? The one you adore above everyone else?” His warm breath is doing strange things to my insides. My entire body is tingling, and my limbs feel like they’ve turned to rubber. He moves his hand up and down my spine, and a soothing warmth seeps bone deep. I clutch his waist harder, subconsciously moving closer until there’s barely a sliver of space between us. Every cell in my body screams for him, and I should pull back, withdraw from temptation, but I’m already under his spell.
He kisses my cheek again, and I melt into him. “What if I wanted that, Ange?” he prompts. “What would you say?”
I should refuse to answer. Throw out a lie and put a halt to this. But I can’t. “That you already are.” My heart is thumping wildly in my chest, and I can scarcely hear for the blood rushing through my ears. “That you always have been.”
He cups my face firmly, and fierce emotion blazes in his eyes. “I’ve wanted you to say that to me for a long time. I suspected, but I needed to know, because I’m a selfish, greedy bastard when it comes to you.”
“Dev, I—”
“Ssh,” he interrupts, sweeping his thumb along my lower lip, and the look in his eyes almost melts my panties off. My body sways forward, my craving for him reaching an unparalleled high. “This is the most supremely selfish act of all, but I can’t resist.”
