Page 21 of Inseparable
“That’s up to Lina.” Ayden glares at Devin.
I chew on the inside of my cheek. This will hurt Ayden but not as much as letting him stay will. “It’s okay. I need to talk to Dev on my own.”
He kisses my cheek. “Fine.” Standing up, he sends an icy look in Dev’s direction. “But if you hurt her anymore than you already have, I’ll kick your ass until you’re inhaling blood.”
“I have no intention of hurting her, but if I do, you have my permission. I’d welcome the ass kicking.”
Ayden begrudgingly concedes, walking off with one final look over his shoulder.
“Why have you been avoiding me?” I blurt. Might as well rip the Band-Aid off in one go. I try to prepare myself for the oncoming onslaught, but it’s a futile exercise where Dev and my heart are concerned.
He sits down beside me, staring out into the backyard. “I don’t want to upset you, and I’ve been putting off this conversation because I know it’s probably not what you want to hear.”
My heart sinks, and pain explodes in my stomach. “You regret it?” I whisper, not looking at him.
“I’d rather regret the things I haven’t done over the things I have,” he says, cryptically, while I try to work out the hidden meaning.
“So you don’t regret what we did but regret not having sex?”
He laughs, but the sound is biting, strained. He turns to face me, pain radiating from his eyes. “Regret and you are all too synonymous in my mind.”
“Don’t let me down gently or anything,” I mutter, feeling more and more dejected with every word coming out of his mouth.
He laces his fingers in mine. “I could live a million lifetimes and never be good enough for you.”
Not this again. “That’s what this is about?” He nods. “You’re being ridiculous, and we’re only talking about having sex, not my entire life.” Honestly, I never thought I’d see the day where Devin made such a deal out of something he freely offers around.
“You don’t get it.” He shakes his head.
“So, enlighten me then?” My tone bristles with barely disguised frustration and simmering anger.
“It could never be just sex with us. You were willing to give me something I don’t deserve. Something I can’t take. Something that belongs to someone else.”
“And, like I said, that choice is not yours to make. It’s mine, and I want it to be you.”
He removes his hand from mine, stroking his stubbly jaw. “It’s not going to happen, Ange.”
“So that’s it?” I twist around, demanding he look me straight in the eye. “You’ll happily fuck any slut who opens her legs for you, but I’m here practically begging and you’re saying no?”
Naked emotion splays across his face. Reaching out, he cups my face between his calloused hands. “None of those girls mean anything to me, but you, you’re… you’re everything.”
“Then treat me like it!”
“Christ!” He drops his hands from my face and stands up. “What the hell do you think I’m trying to do? This would be so much easier if I didn’t care about you so fucking much.”
I snort at the irony. “How the hell do I know?” I hop up, rage doing a number on me. “You won’t ever give me a straight answer, and you issue mixed signals all the time.”
“Well, let me make this clear for you then,” he grits out, his own anger surfacing. “You and I will never be anything more than friends. I don’t regret what happened between us even though it shouldn’t have happened, but we will never do anything like that again, and we sure as hell won’t be having sex. Does that spell it out for you?”
“Loud and clear.” I’m glad my anger is holding the tears at bay, although I’m sure they’ll emerge at some point. I stomp toward the door, spinning around on my heel at the last minute, determined to have the final word.
“I guess I should thank you. You’ve done me a massive favor. I am not going to waste a single second more thinking about you, and, as for being friends, friends don’t treat other friends like this.” My eyes fall to the tattoo on my wrist. “The friend who went with me to get this”—I circle the infinity symbol—“would never have treated me so horribly, but I guess you wouldn’t know that because you’re no longer the same person. You’re no longer someone I can call a friend.”
CHAPTER NINE
My words were thrown out in the heat of the moment, and I wanted to instantly take them back, but I’m too upset to do the right thing. For once, I want to let him stew. Not that he seems in any way concerned. He sits around the dinner table laughing and joking as if he hasn’t got a care in the world. I guess I’m a lot less skilled in the acting department, because I can’t disguise my anger or my hurt, and I’m sullen and withdrawn, barely speaking and only picking at the gorgeous dinner Ayden’s mom has prepared. When Kayla drags me up by the hand to cut her slice of pumpkin pie, her sweet good nature and infectious laughter finally pulls me out of my head.
As I serve up dessert, I decide to pull my big girl pants on and hold my head up high. Show Devin I can ride above his rejection and that I’m not going to curl up into a ball and die just because he doesn’t reciprocate my feelings. I slide my chair closer to Ayden’s and give him my full attention. At least I have one friend I can continue to count on. “Do you want me to kick his ass?” he whispers, in between mouthfuls of pie.
