Page 110 of Inseparable
The closer we get to the street where we grew up, the more nauseated I become. By the time Devin pulls into the drive, behind a shiny new SUV, I’ve broken out in a cold sweat and my entire body is convulsing in fear, which is ridiculous, because it’s my mother and she’s already told me not to worry.
The front door opens, and my heart stutters. Then my mother is racing toward us, tears streaming down her face. I’m out of the car and on my feet before I’ve even registered the movement, running to meet her halfway. We collide in a blend of arms and sobs, desperately hugging one another. The familiar scent of vanilla and strawberries, from her shampoo, surrounds me, and I bury my head in her shoulder, my body shaking as I cling to her.
“Honey,” she whispers in my ear, her voice catching. “I can’t believe you’re here. I’ve prayed so hard for this moment.”
“I’m sorry, Mom. I’m so sorry.”
She smooths a hand over the back of my head, emitting soothing sounds as I sob. We continue clinging to one another, both of us afraid to let go, until Devin clears his throat. “It’s freezing, and you’re both shivering. Let’s take this inside.”
“Give me a minute, Devin. Let me look at my baby girl.” She leans back, keeping me at arm’s length as she scans me from head to toe. Fresh tears creep into her eyes. “My God. Look at you. You’re so beautiful.” The skin around her eyes creases as she frowns. “A little too thin but we’ll rectify that.”
Keeping a grip on my hand, she moves aside, leaning up to kiss Devin on the cheek. “Thank you for bringing my little girl home to me. This is the best Christmas present ever.”
“I told you I would, and I was determined to keep my promise.”
“I’m still pissed at you though,” she adds, narrowing her eyes. “You lied to me.”
He scratches the back of his head. “I’m sorry, Natalie, but I promise I took care of her.”
“Don’t be mad at Dev, Mom. You would not have wanted to find me the way he did. I’m glad he waited until now to tell you, because it would’ve only hurt you more.”
Her keen eyes probe mine. “I wouldn’t have cared. Getting you back is all that matters.”
“Honey, come inside,” Jon says, pressing his hand to Mom’s arm. “Your skin is like ice.” I hadn’t really had time to get to know Dr. Williams before I left, so he’s a virtual stranger to me. But he’s still here, and I haven’t missed the massive diamond on Mom’s ring finger. He’s clearly supported her through my absence, and that’s good enough for me. When he leans in, I willingly accept his embrace. “It’s fantastic to see you again, Angelina. We’re glad you’re home.”
Mom doesn’t let go of my hand as we stroll toward the house. I discreetly check her out as we walk. Her blonde hair is cut in a stylish bob, and she owns the lilac fitted dress she’s wearing. She’s still sporting an amazing figure and a great sense of style. She has a few tiny lines around her eyes and her mouth, but apart from that, she hasn’t changed much. On the outside at least. God knows what my leaving did to her mental state.
My eyes wander to the house next door. Devin has already confirmed the Carters still live there, and part of my anxiety over this visit was tied up with them. Nancy blames me for Ayden’s death, and while the thought of facing her again almost brings me out in hives, I know I can’t avoid it.
But one step at a time.
Jim, Lucas, and a pretty redhead are waiting in the kitchen. Lucas introduces me to Lucy, his girlfriend, with a proud smile, and we chat casually for a few minutes as if it hasn’t been years since I last stepped foot in my home.
The interior of the house is vastly transformed. Sleek, white gloss cupboards have replaced the old pine ones in the kitchen. A snazzy marble island unit and a mammoth refrigerator are new additions. Dark hardwood floors and cream-painted walls contrast with vibrant furnishings. In the living room, the old open fireplace is gone, replaced with a fitted gas fireplace. A wall-mounted TV is affixed above it, and deep shelving has been built into the fireplace on both sides. “Wow. I love what you’ve done with the place.”
“Thank you. Jon and Devin completed a lot of the work themselves.”
I arch a brow, turning around to look at Devin. “You always were good with your hands.”
His answering smirk pulls a laugh from me as I realize how my words could be construed. When Mom bursts out crying, I falter, my smile fading at her obvious distress.
“I’m sorry, honey.” She reels me into her arms again. “I just can’t believe you’re here. I’m overcome. I’ve missed you so much.”
The others quietly disappear.
Mom pulls me down on the couch, and we hug it out for ages. Another layer of stress filters away. After a little while, she eases back, brushing strands of my hair behind my ears. “I know we have lots to talk about, but I don’t want to put a dampener on today. Today is a cause for celebration because my baby’s home.” Tears invade her eyes again, and I’m reminded of my selfishness. “But you have to promise you won’t do anything like that again. I won’t survive if you leave again.”
I hold her hands firmly in mine. “I’m home, Mom, and I promise I’ll never leave you again. I was in such a dark place after Ayden died, and it seemed like the only choice, but I know I was wrong to leave as I did. I’m an adult now, and I know running away was not the solution. Leaving you was the hardest thing ever, and you were in my thoughts every day. I must’ve picked up the phone a million times to call you, but I always chickened out. I convinced myself you hated me because I abandoned you, and you didn’t deserve that.”
“I could never hate you, sweet girl. You’re the love of my life, and that will never change, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t furious with you too, because I was, because I still am.”
“I understand, and you have every right to your anger.”
She takes a deep breath, and then she’s smiling at me again. “Not today, though. Today is a happy day, and there will be plenty of time to work through the rest.”
We eat dinner in the new sunroom at the rear of the house, surrounded by memories. Although the backyard is totally remodeled, and not at all how I remember it, every time I look out at Old Man Willow, I’m reminded of so many childhood memories. Photos adorn space on almost every wall in every room of the house, cataloguing my life from infancy. Being back here again has my emotions in a tizzy, in both a good and a bad way.
Jon moves to pour wine in my glass, but I place my hand over it. “I’m a recovering alcoholic,” I admit. “And I don’t drink anymore.” Devin covers my hand with his, squeezing in understanding. Mom looks upset. “I’m sorry,” I say softly.
