Page 102 of Inseparable
Devin is uncharacteristically quiet.
“Please, Benny. I need to speak to him now.”
He rubs his chin, frowning a little. “How about you take a seat on that bench over there and talk for a few minutes? That’s the best I can offer.”
I lean in and kiss his cheek. “Thank you.”
I take Devin’s hand and lead him to the bench, gently pushing him down. He seems to have zoned out a little. I sit down beside him, clasping both his hands in mine. “I’m sorry for pushing you away, Devin. I’ve been scared to confront my feelings and to tell you some things I should’ve told you already, but it doesn’t mean I haven’t been thinking of you every day because I have.”
He twists around, and the vulnerability and fear in his eyes takes me back to a younger Devin. One who was unsure of the world and his place in it. I haven’t seen any evidence of that boy in grown-up Devin, and I hate that I’m the one to have sent him back there. “I’ve tried to be patient, and I understand what you’re going through. I went through the same, and I didn’t even tell you where I had gone, so I know it’s really hypocritical of me, and I don’t want to set back your recovery or pressure you in anyway but it’s just today…”
“I know. I remember which day it is too.”
“One part of me can’t believe it’s been five years since that day, because in some ways it feels like it was much shorter than that. Another part of me feels like I’ve lived a hundred years since Ayden died.”
“I know. I feel the same. As I have done every year on the anniversary.” I look down, almost choking on the burning lump in my throat.
“I’ve lived five years without both of you Ange, and I can’t do it anymore. I miss you so much. I just want things to go back to the way they were.” He leans his head on my shoulder, and I wrap my arms around his waist, savoring the feel of him against me.
“I want that too,” I whisper, my heart thumping wildly in my chest with the admission.
He lifts his head, a spark of hope glimmering in his eyes. “You do?”
“I think so. I mean, I’m getting there, but it’s scary. I haven’t been that person, lived that life for a long time, and I’ve hurt so many people…”
“The people who love you will forgive you. I already have.”
Tears soak my eyes. “I always seem to be crying around you.”
He presses a soft kiss to my head. “One of these days they will be happy tears.”
“Can I ask you something?”
“You know you can.”
“Would you attend a therapy session with me? My counselor has been suggesting it for weeks, and I didn’t feel up to it. Until now.” Ignoring the dreaded fluttering in my chest, I take a deep breath, padding my lungs with bravery as I push the words out of my mouth. “I want to move forward in my life, and I can’t do that until we get everything out on the table.”
He leans in swiftly, planting a kiss on my cheek. “I’m there. Just tell me when and where, and I’ll be there.”
CHAPTER FORTY-ONE
Devin
I park my car, climb out, and start walking toward the facility. Tension coils in my gut as I head for my therapy session with Ange. A lot hinges on today. I think we both understand that. I know she has stuff to get off her chest, but so do I. I want a fresh start, a clean slate, and neither of us can do that without exorcising our demons.
She looked so good yesterday. With the exception of the dark circles under her eyes, she looks better than I’ve seen her looking in months. Her eyes are clear, her skin luminous, and she’s starting to fill her curves again. I know they put considerable emphasis on overall health here, and following a nutritional diet and exercise plan is part of the program. Dr. Bennett is also a leading expert in the field of cognitive behavioral therapy, which is the main reason I chose this facility for Ange.
I tap my foot nervously off the floor as I wait outside Dr. Bennett’s office. Then the door is opened, and I’m welcomed by the woman herself. After we’ve made introductions, she ushers me inside. Dressed in a pretty green dress, Ange is sitting on the comfortable soft gray couch. The red dye has almost fully disappeared from her hair, and she’s nearly back to her normal hair color. She looks so much like the Ange I remember, and it’s hard to avoid the urge to sweep her into my arms.
“Hi.” I smile, dropping onto the couch alongside her, conscious to leave a gap between us. I don’t want her to feel overwhelmed, and I’m just ecstatic to be in her presence after months of being shut out.
She tucks her hair behind her ears, answering me with a shy smile. “Hi yourself.”
Dr. Bennett settles into a seat across from us with a pad and pen in hand. “Thank you for joining us today, Mr. Morgan. Before we commence, I’d just like to mention a few things. Anything that is discussed in this room shall remain confidential between all parties. This is a neutral environment with no judgment. You can speak freely, although, I may intervene should Angelina become distressed as my patient’s welfare is my primary concern. Does that sound reasonable?”
“Absolutely, and I want to help. I’m here for Ange.”
She smiles, before turning her focus on Ange. “How would you like to start? What would you like to say to Devin today?”
