Page 86 of Inseparable
“You want to leavenow?”
I look over my shoulder. “First thing in the morning. I need to say goodbye to Mom first.”
We are both dressed, with our bags packed, and waiting in the kitchen when Mom arrives home from her shift very early the next morning. I’ve showered, styled my hair, put on some makeup, and I’m wearing clean clothes. I look together, and that’s all that counts. She’s uneasy when I tell her the plan, refusing at first, clearly uncomfortable with the speed at which I’m moving, but Devin assures her he’ll take care of me, and I promise faithfully that I’ll make a therapist appointment as soon as I can.
I hug her for much longer than usual, squeezing her tight, closing my eyes against the stab of tears, committing her smell to memory, silently begging her forgiveness.
I wave to her from Devin’s SUV, forcing the messy ball of emotion in my throat to back the hell down. I’m lost in thought the whole trip. Devin tries to engage me in conversation, but he gives up after a while—it’s hard to have a conversation all by yourself. Every few minutes, I feel his eyes on me, and he almost gives himself whiplash alternating his gaze between me and the road.
“Are you sure you’re ready to do this?” he asks, once we’re parked outside the residence hall. “I can turn around and take you back if it’s too much.”
I send him an incredulous look. “You want me to go home and hide in my room like a recluse again?”
His gaze dips for a fraction of a second. “Of course not. I want the girl I love back, but I don’t want you to feel pushed into doing this if you aren’t ready yet.”
“I’m taking it one day at time,” I reply, jumping out of the car. Devin carries my bag up to my room.
“Thanks,” I say, dumping it on the floor. “I’m going to go through my emails and try to get a handle on the stuff I missed.”
“I can stay here with you.”
I shake my head. “I need to be by myself.” He doesn’t trust me; I see it in his eyes—I need to do better. For the first time in weeks, I wrap my arms around his neck and nuzzle into him, trying to ignore how good it feels to be back in his safe embrace. He relaxes against me. “I’m sorry I’ve been so hard on you,” I whisper. “Thank you for being so patient.”
He tips my chin up. “I love you so much, Ange. Seeing you like this has been killing me.” His Adam’s apple jumps in his throat, and he’s on the verge of tears.
Oh, God, I hate myself. I hate myself so much.
I lean up on tiptoes and plant my lips on his. He kisses me softly at first, but then need takes over, for both of us. He carries me to the bedroom, and we silently undress one another. I whimper when he enters me, peppering his face with kisses, remembering how incredible it felt to love him with no restraints. Burying my head in his shoulder, I cling to him while soft, silent tears stream down my face as he makes tender love to me.
He shoots a lazy, satisfied grin my way as he gets redressed. I’m in the bed, with the covers under my arms, drinking in the sight of him. As long as I live, I’ll never forget how utterly magnificent Devin Morgan is. There is no finer male specimen on the planet. He sits on the edge of the bed while he pulls his boots on. Leaning in, he kisses me passionately. “We’re going to be okay, Ange.”
I thread my hands through his hair. “I love you, Devin. I’ll love you my whole life.”
He leans his forehead on mine. “I love you too, baby doll. You’re my everything.”
I try not to lose it as he’s leaving, keeping a fake smile plastered across my face. He frowns a little. “You okay? I don’t have to go to class. I can—”
I cut him off with a passionate kiss. “I’m good,” I whisper in a breathless tone against his mouth. “Now get your delectable ass to class, and I’ll see you tonight.”
He steps out into the corridor, blowing me a kiss, and I mentally record the moment, capturing his happy smile, the love glistening in his eyes, his gorgeous dark hair heading in all directions—totally messed up from my fingers—and his firm ass in the low-hanging jeans as he walks away. I memorize the way his shirt stretches across his chest and biceps as he spins around, blowing me another kiss and shouting out “I love you.”
The horrid pain in my chest worsens the farther away he moves, until it feels like I’m suffocating. I slam my door shut before I run after him, sagging to the floor amid a flurry of tears.
I wish I didn’t have to do this, but it’s the only way.
I wait a half hour, to ensure he’s gone, and then I pull on my coat, take my bag, and hightail it across campus to the bus stop.
I get off in the center of the city, in the heart of the prestigious banking district, and walk to an office building I swore I’d never enter.
The name over the door sours my stomach as I walk underneath it, stepping foot onto the glossy porcelain floor of the lobby. The glamorous redhead at reception eyes me curiously as she calls upstairs, the surprise playing across her face as she’s told to let me up.
My nerves are hanging by a thread as the elevator shoots to the top floor, bringing me to a man I never, ever intended to meet.
But needs must.
He doesn’t get up from behind the desk as I’m shown into his office, but he can’t disguise his shock. We have the same hair, and now I know where I got the dimple in my left cheek from. My eyes flit to the framed wedding photo on his desk. His pretty, young wife smiles up at him, little realizing she’s peering adoringly into the eyes of a monster.
It’s hard to reconcile the good-looking, polished, professional businessman in the expensive suit, sitting across from me, with the image I’ve always had of him in my head. He may look calm and in control, but the catalog of physical abuse my mother suffered at her young husband’s hand tells a different story. And I don’t need to hear his version of events. There is no scenario he can paint that will ever excuse his behavior or cause me to doubt my mother. Mom has never lied to me, about anything, and especially not when I finally plucked up the courage to ask her why my father wasn’t in the picture.
