Page 83 of Inseparable
“The police have cordoned off the house, for the moment, so everyone is inside our place,” she explains. “But you can go straight to your room if you’re not up to company.”
“I want to see Ayden,” I whisper.
“Okay.” She nods, shooting a concerned look at Devin. “Come inside and talk to Nancy and Carl,” she coaxes. “They’ve just finished speaking to the police, and they are wrapping things up in the house. You should be able to see Ayden soon.”
Devin keeps his arm around my shoulders, and Mom takes my hand as we walk slowly to the front door. It’s a wonder I can put one foot in front of the other. Everything is so surreal. Like it’s not happening or happening to someone else. Not to us. Not to our Ayden.
Mr. Carter materializes in the doorway. His face is all splotchy, and his eyes are glassy with tears. I fling myself at him, wrapping my arms around his waist. He hugs me back, stifling his cries, while my tears continue to fall freely. “Lina,” he whispers, kissing the top of my head. “I’m glad you’re here.” In a surprising move, he pulls Devin in for a hug next. They don’t talk, but words are redundant. Although he seems reluctant to let Devin go, he does, clamping a hand down on his shoulder and squeezing. Devin laces his fingers in mine, and we follow Mom and Carl through the kitchen and into the living room.
At least twenty people are crowding the space, talking quietly and drinking coffee. Most are family. Ayden’s aunts and uncles. His sisters and his mom are not here. Mr. and Mrs. Belso, the Carters’ other neighbors, say a quiet hello, smiling sadly in our direction.
“I’ll get you some coffee,” Mr. Carter says, heading back into the kitchen while Mom pats the arm of the couch.
“Sit,” she commands, all but pushing me down. Devin stands behind me, wrapping his arms around my chest and resting his chin on my head. I cling to his arms, his touch being the only thing keeping me sane right now.
Nancy Carter walks into the room. Mom goes to her. “Are the girls okay?”
She sighs, and the heartbroken look on her face is evident for all to see. “They’re resting now. Thank you for this, Natalie.”
Mom hugs her. Nancy’s eyes lock on mine over Mom’s shoulder. She frowns, raking her gaze over Devin and me. I stand up, moving to go to her, but Devin holds me back, locking his arms around my waist and keeping me in front of him.
Nancy shucks off Mom’s embrace, walking slowly toward me. A multitude of different emotions flicker in her eyes. “What did you do to my son?” Her voice cracks and tears pool in her eyes.
A deathly hush settles over the room as all conversation mutes.
“Please don’t do this,” Devin asks quietly before I’ve had time to speak. “Ange loved Ayden. We both did.”
“I’m not asking you,” she says, keeping her gaze focused on me. “Lina? I need to know what happened. The last time I spoke to my son was when he landed at the airport and he was en route to campus to surprise you. Then I come home and I find him… I find him…” Pain-filled anguished cries rip through the still air as she breaks down, dropping to her knees and sobbing.
I sink to my knees in front of her, crying too. The tension in my chest increases. “I loved Ayden, I really did, and I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
She composes herself a little, sniffling as she gestures at Devin with a sharp flick of her head. “What did you do? I need to know what happened. I need to know why my son did this.” Her damp, red-rimmed eyes plead with me, and she’s searching for answers we may never find.
My heart is rupturing in my chest again. My lower lip wobbles when I open my mouth to admit the truth. “I didn’t mean for him to find out like this,” I sob. “But he knew how much I loved Devin. We were going to fix this… it was going to be okay…”
A stinging pain zips across my cheekbone where her hand impacts my face. “You dirty little slut! I knew this was your fault! This is both your faults!” she shrieks, glaring at Devin as he lifts me up, moving me away from her.
“I’m not going to let you blame Ange,” Devin protests. “Ayden did this. Not Ange or me.”
Nancy lets out an inhuman roar as she lunges at Devin. Mr. Carter pulls her back before she can reach him. She writhes and wrestles in his arms, thrashing, screaming, and crying, and I shudder against Devin, clinging to him as if my life depends on it. Mom looks torn, her concerned gaze shifting from me to Nancy and back again.
“Let me go, Carl!” Nancy yells. “You know this is their fault. Her fault! You know it.”
Ayden’s three sisters appear in the doorway, sporting red, bloodshot eyes and staring at the scene in front of them. Kayla is in her pajamas, clutching her raggedy teddy bear and leaning in to her older sister, Mia. Mia looks from me to Devin, and her eyes narrow suspiciously.
Mom steps forward, planting herself in front of Ayden’s mom. “I’m dreadfully sorry for your loss, Nancy. More so than I can describe. Ayden was like a son to me, and I’m devastated, so I can’t begin to imagine the pain you are in. But, I cannot allow you to speak to my daughter like that, and you most certainly can’t assault her. I’m very sorry, but I have to ask you to leave.” Mom glances at the Belsos, and they stand up, nodding their heads in a knowing fashion.
“I will never forgive you for this! Never!” Mrs. Carter screams at me before Mr. Carter removes her from the house. Everyone else leaves with them.
I adhere myself to Devin, fisting his shirt, feeling like a shell of a person. I’m trembling all over, and my limbs are quivering and shaking. Mom pulls me down on the empty sofa, circling her arms around me. “Devin, can you make some hot, sweet tea for Ange and bring in a few of those sandwiches. She needs to eat.”
Dev nods, kissing my cheek before walking into the kitchen. Mom rocks me back and forth in her arms. My tears have dried up, and now I’m back to feeling numb and hollow on the inside. “Sweetheart, Nancy is grieving, and she needs to find someone to blame. She doesn’t mean it.”
“She’s right,” I say as if on autopilot. “Thisismy fault.”
She brushes damp strands of hair off my forehead. “It’s no one’s fault, honey. Least of all yours. I’ve come across this so many times in my line of work, and it never gets any easier to understand. No one knows exactly what triggers cause a person to take their own life.”
“I. Know.” I look up at her. “He found me and Devin in bed together, and it broke his heart. I’m the trigger. I’m the reason Ayden snapped. I’m the reason he’s dead.”
