Page 76 of Inseparable
“Resist what?” I croak out, my voice hoarse, raw with need. I’m holding my breath in anticipation. Every nerve ending in my body is on heightened alert.
He licks his lips, dropping his hungry eyes to my mouth. My body pulses with need, and I squirm a little, keeping my eyes locked on his, knowing the desire I see is mirrored on my own face.
“This,” he confirms, closing the gap between us and slanting his mouth over mine.
CHAPTER THIRTY
He kisses me softly and sweetly, bundling me in his arms and holding me close, like I’m precious cargo. I angle my head, kissing him back with more urgency, and his tongue runs over the seam of my lips, asking permission. I open for him, moaning as his tongue tangles with mine.
I’m on fire: every cell, every tissue, and every fiber of my being is sizzling. The innermost chambers of my heart and the deepest, darkest corners of my soul are bursting with joy, and I’m blissfully drowning in a sea of contentment. His touch awakens every part of me, reaching hidden depths, and, without a shadow of a doubt, I know that Devin has been created especially for me. He’s got to be, because he ignites sparks inside me, invokes feelings I’ve never felt before, and our bodies blend together perfectly. More than that, he’s been my best friend for years, and he knows me inside and out. We’ve always been in sync, and now I know it’s in every conceivable way.
He eases me down onto my back, covering my body with his. I lift my knee, opening my legs, and he settles between them. We both groan, gently grinding against one another as the kiss turns frenzied. Devin’s devouring my mouth, and I moan loudly as he nips and bites at my lower lip. His hand skims over my body, caressing my curves, and I’m lost to sensation. The more he kisses me, the more I want to consume him. I claw at him, my hands exploring everywhere, wanting more, needing more, craving more, feeling so much, and yet not enough at the same time.
His hand slips under my top, and I gasp at the skin on skin contact. His mouth moves off mine, and he starts tracing a line of kisses down my neck, onto my collarbone and lower.
An image flashes in my mind, and it’s like cold water sluicing over my skin. I push his shoulders, and he lifts his chin up. His mouth is swollen, his pupils dark with lust. “Ayden,” I whisper, my voice choked with pain. “We can’t do this to Ayden.” I slide out from under him, scurrying over to the far side of the balcony, not trusting myself to be strong enough to do the right thing.
My breath is heaving in and out in exaggerated spurts, and my emotions are veering all over the place. Pulling my knees up to my chest, I draw measured breaths in an attempt to gain control of myself. Devin sits up, watching me carefully. We stare wordlessly at one another for several minutes until I feel composed enough to speak. “We shouldn’t have done that.”
“I can’t bring myself to regret it. Not when I’ve spent months, hell, years, wanting to kiss you like that.”
My eyes pop wide at his admission, and I wish I could push the agenda, but I can’t. Things are complicated enough between the three of us without making things worse. “We can’t do it again.”
He peers intensely into my eyes. “I’m going to fight him for you this time. He knows how I feel about you, and he didn’t hold back in taking what was mine.” He climbs to his feet. “I know you want to talk to him properly, and I can respect that. If you don’t want me to kiss you again, I won’t. But when he’s back, when it’s an even playing field, I’m going to fight with everything I’ve got. You belong with me. You always have, and I’m not giving up this time.”
Devin was true to his word. The rest of the time we were at home, we hung out, but there were no more kisses, no more touches, and he made an effort to keep a reasonable distance from me. I respect him for honoring the boundaries I’ve erected.
I’mthe one who’s struggling to maintain them.
When we return to campus, life settles into a comfortable routine. I throw myself into my studies and spend a huge amount of my free time with Devin. We hang out with Mariah and Cody a lot, and it reminds me of old times. Good times. I switched art classes, and now Devin and I are in the same one. It’s only a hobby, for both of us, but I can’t help wishing he was pursing an art major instead of criminal justice. He’s so gifted, and it seems like such a waste of God-given talent.
We attend another frat party, and Devin scarcely leaves my side. He has no shortage of offers from willing girls, but he never once indulges. He is still abstaining from drink and drugs and anything that would jumpstart his hyper-addictive personality into play.
Ayden called again, but he refused to speak to Devin, and there’s a new layer to the underlying tension in existence during every call. As the days pass, the more assured I become of the decision I’ve made.
I miss Ayden. I really, really do.
But I don’t miss his arms or his lips or the feel of his body as it moves against mine.
My body doesn’t hum at the mere thought of him.
Not like it does every second I’m thinking about Devin, and don’t even get me started on how difficult it is not to jump his bones whenever we’re together. Some days, I physically sit on my hands to stop myself touching him.
I was never like that with Ayden.
It’s not a competition between them, but, the time apart has given me new insight into my relationship. Ayden and I have never really worked as a couple. Sure, there were moments at the start, but they were fleeting, and I wonder now if we were both hankering after something that just didn’t exist. Perhaps the divide with Devin forced both of us down a path we should never have taken.
I don’t want to disparage what we shared, and I won’t regret giving Ayden my virginity, but I wish we had stayed purely platonic.
Devin has said he’s prepared to fight for me, but I’m not quite sure exactly what that means. I hope it means we are finally on the same page, but he hasn’t come outright and said it. Nonetheless, I need to end my romance with Ayden before I can consider starting anything with Devin.
If he still wants me by then.
It’s three days until Christmas break and I’m walking through campus alone when I notice the flyer pinned to the lamp post. My mouth pulls into a wide smile as I scan the announcement. The college is holding an ice skating event at a nearby rink tomorrow, and I want to attend.
When we were younger, we used to go skating every winter on the little lake on the west end of Clear Lake with my grandpa Joe. Devin and I were naturals on the ice, and as the daredevils of our group, we liked to push the boundaries, trying various turns, spins, and jumps until we perfected some skills. Ayden, with his nervous disposition and inelegant gait, always stuck to simple maneuvers. He was constantly picking us up off the ice while my grandpa doubled over with laughter from the sidelines. I lost count of the amount of times I came home covered in bruises.
It’s been years since I’ve ice skated, but now that I’ve got my partner in crime back again, I can’t wait to relive my love affair with the ice. Tucking my hands into the pockets of my coat, I turn around, leaving campus and making my way toward Devin’s apartment. It’s only a ten-minute walk from the college, so it won’t take me long to get there. I’ve never actually been at his place. Devin’s a bit weird about it, although I met his roomie Danny at the last party, and he doesn’t seem like a freak or anything.
