Page 73 of Inseparable
“He’s really nice,” I remark, once we’re tucked up in Dev’s SUV with the heat pumping out. “And you two seem to get along very well.” Which is heartwarming to see because Devin hasn’t had a proper father figure in his life.
“I was a bit of an asshole to him at the start,” Dev explains, and I bark out a laugh.
“Why doesn’t that surprise me?”
He smirks, before his expression turns more serious. “But he won me over quickly. It’s good to have a decent role model in my life. Someone I can look up to and learn from.” He glances over at me briefly while he drives. “I used to look at you and Natalie and wish I had that kind of relationship with my dad. Now I do, and it’s fucking awesome.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
We meet Mariah and Cody at the movie theater, and, afterward we return to campus to attend another frat party. The guys have disappeared to procure drinks while Mariah and I wait in the crowded living room. We have to practically shout over the music to be heard. “You’re right,” she hollers in my ear. “Devin is different. He seems to have his shit together.”
“I think so.” Only time will really tell. As I spy Devin and Cody making their way through the room toward us, I don’t miss the admiring looks he’s picking up from all quarters. Devin has this magnetic presence that draws every girl in. A sour taste pools in my mouth as a familiar sickening feeling twists my insides into knots. A girl jumps out in front of him, tugging on his arm and stopping his progress. My stomach drops to my toes, and all the feel-good hormones are replaced with a bunch of anxiety-laden ones. I suffered this agony the whole way through high school, and I don’t think I can bear to go through it again now we’re in college. My heart has taken a battering this last year, and I think I’ve reached my breaking point.
Grabbing my coat and purse, I hightail it toward the door. My pulse is pounding in my ears, and my heart is a dense block of concrete in my chest. Tears prick my eyes, but I hold them at bay. I can’t cry any more over Devin. I just can’t go there again.
A hand circles my waist from behind before I reach the front door, and I’m pulled back against a strong, warm body. “Where are you going?” Dev asks, twirling me around to face him. I look down at my feet while I attempt to plant a poker face on. He tilts my chin up. “What’s wrong?”
I open my mouth to lie. To tell him nothing’s wrong, but I think better of it. “I’ve no desire to watch other girls pawing at you, especially not after we’ve had such a great time today, so I think it’s best I call it a night.”
He opens his mouth to speak, but I place my finger against his lips, quieting him. “You have nothing to apologize for, and you’re free to do whatever you like. I’d just rather not bear witness to it.”
He grips my face firmly in his palms. “The only girl I’m interested in spending time with at this party is you. Please, don’t leave. I’m not ready to say goodnight to you yet.” His eyes glisten with sincerity and longing, and my resolve wavers on the spot. My willpower has always been extremely weak when it comes to Devin. I nod shyly, and he takes my hand, leading me back into the room.
Mariah subtly mouths at me. “You okay?”
I nod, offering her a small smile as Dev hands me a red cup. “Thanks.”
He wraps his arm around my shoulder, keeping me close to his side as we chat. I notice he is only drinking a soda, and he ignores every girl who approaches or attempts to catch his eye across the room. When I need to go to the bathroom, he comes with me, checking his cell and refusing eye contact with every girl while he waits outside for me. Conversation is lively, and it’s almost like old times. Except that Ayden should be here with us, and he isn’t. A wave of sadness sweeps over me, and Dev notices. “Why do you look so bummed out?” he whispers in my ear.
“I was just thinking about Ayd.”
“You miss him,” he says, and it’s not a question. I nod. “Me too.”
“Have you heard from him at all?”
He shakes his head.
“He doesn’t have many phone privileges,” I explain, “but he usually calls every second Sunday. I’m expecting his call tomorrow. You could come over and talk with him, if you like?”
“I’m not sure Ayden will be happy I’m going to college with you.”
I touch his arm. “I know it was tense between you two before you left but things are different now. I think he’ll be happy to know you’re in a good place, and he’ll feel less guilty knowing you are here with me. He thinks he let me down by bailing on the college plan.”
“Well, he did. You guys had this all figured out years before I knew what I wanted to do. I couldn’t believe it when Cam told me he’d ditched his football dream and joined the marines. Still can’t wrap my head around it.”
A couple get up from the couch, and we pounce, dropping into their seats before anyone can beat us to it. Dev keeps his arm around my shoulder, crossing one knee over the other. “Did he ever talk to you about it?” I ask.
“Nope. He never said a word. I thought he lived and breathed football, and he is so Goddamned talented.”
“I’m glad he had courage to follow his heart, even if I did feel like throat punching him at the time.” Dev chuckles. “It was just such a huge shock, and I’m still pissed that he didn’t confide in me. No wonder our relationship…” I trail off, uncomfortable discussing my relationship in front of Devin. It feels disrespectful to Ayden to do so.
He’s quiet for a couple of minutes. “Can I ask you something?”
I look into his eyes and promptly melt on the spot. His gaze ensnares me, holding me in place, sucking all the air out of the room and my lungs. I could drown in Devin’s hypnotic gaze and not regret a thing. His lips fight a smile, and I realize he’s waiting for a response. All I can manage is a wide-eyed nod.
“Are you planning on waiting for him indefinitely?” A flicker of hope, of expectation, shimmers in his sea-green eyes, and my heart can’t help reacting. I don’t know if he realizes it, but his fingers are drifting in and out of my hair, toying with the strands, and it feels comfortable between us but different. I’m sensing things Devin hasn’t said, and though I shouldn’t get my hopes up, I think he wants more from me.
But I can’t indulge that now. Perhaps, when Ayden and I have drawn a line under our romantic relationship, Devin and I might have a chance at something, but I can’t entertain those thoughts now. I spent years pining for him, and I can’t get sucked back into that space. It’s not healthy for me. “I can’t answer that question until I’ve spoken to Ayden, Dev. It wouldn’t be fair for me to tell you how I’m feeling before I’ve had the chance to tell him.”
