Page 66 of Inseparable
“Me, too.” I prop up on my elbows. “Me leaving for college has given her a fresh start, and from the way she’s talking about Dr. Williams, I think she’s already half in love with him. I really hope it works out for her. I don’t like the thought of her being alone in the house on her own all the time.”
“You go home every other weekend.”
“I know, but it’s not the same.”
“Any word from Ayden?” She twists around to face me.
I shake my head. “Not since that letter last month. You know communication channels are abysmal in Afghanistan, and he doesn’t have much opportunity to keep in touch.”
“I still can’t believe he’s overseas and not here with us.”
Nearly three months later, I still can’t believe it myself, but life goes on, and I refuse to dwell on it, even if the status of our relationship is completely up in the air. I miss him a hell of a lot, and while I always knew I relied on him, the last few months have been a real eye opener. I leaned on Ayda lot. Learning to be more independent has been good for me though. “I know. Me either.”
She looks at her watch. “We need to leave soon, so you should get ready.”
I glance down at my jeans and Hollister sweater. “Why can’t I go like this?”
She casts her eyes to the ceiling. “Because it’s a frat party and you need to look hot.” She drags me up by the elbow, gently shoving me into the bathroom. “Chop, chop. Get a move on.”
I emerge with a full face of makeup and my hair curled twenty minutes later. She claps her hands gleefully. “That’s much better.” She thrusts a little black dress at me. “Put that on, and I’ve left your shoes by your bed.”
I inspect the tiny garment in my hands. “You can’t even call that a dress,” I grumble.
“Stop bitching and moaning, and just put it on.” She plants her hands on her hips, slanting me her “I mean business” look. She’s wearing a cute black and silver dress and her hair is pinned messily on top of her head. “You look gorgeous. Cody won’t be able to keep his hands off you.”
She winks. “That’s the plan.”
“Yuck!” I make a face. “You two are so nauseating these days.”
“Because we’re finally free to have as much sex as we like, and it’s freaking awesome,” she gloats. Now it’s my turn to roll my eyes. “You’d know if you got back on the saddle.”
I shuck out of my jeans and sweater and shimmy the dress up over my hips. “Ayden is still my boyfriend, M,” I tell her for like the umpteenth time. I whirl around, holding my hair up, and she helps me close the zipper.
“In name only. He’s not here. You are, and you’re wasting your college experience. Besides, I’m sure he doesn’t expect you to be a nun.”
Maybe he doesn’t, but it’s not just about what he thinks. I’m not ready. Sinking onto the edge of the bed, I squeeze my feet into the stilettos. “We didn’t discuss our relationship that day, and neither one of us broke up with the other. You know I don’t want to have that conversation in a letter or over a rushed phone call where we can barely hear one another. I owe it to him to wait until he’s home, and then I’ll end things officially.”
“Then will you date?”
“Maybe.” I send her a defiant look. “Why are you so invested in my love life anyway?”
“Because I want you to be happy.”
“I am happy.” And I am, most of the time. I made a promise to myself as I drove with Cody and Mariah to campus that fateful day in August—that I was done wallowing in the past, and all the what ifs, and I was going to embrace college life—and I’ve stuck by it. It’s only in the middle of the night, when I can’t sleep, when the pain in my heart cripples me, that I allow myself to indulge my grief. To remember my loss. To miss the two boys who mean the world to me.
I’ve still heard nothing from Devin, and I’ve given up texting him. I can’t promise myself I’ll move on and continue to cling to feeble hope. When I’m back home, I don’t even visit Cam for an update any more. Wherever Devin is, I hope he’s well and that he’s happy.
She sits down beside me, taking my hand. “I’m proud of you, you know.” I arch a brow, and she graces me with a smile. “For putting it aside and throwing yourself into college life, and, I guess I’m just so in love with my man and all sexed up, and I want that for you too. You’re gorgeous, Ange, and you have no shortage of admirers on campus.”
I stand up, smoothing a hand down the front of the minute dress. “I’m really happy you’re still so in love with Cody and he’s such a good guy, but you don’t need to worry about me. I’m happy with where my life is at, and I’m not ready to date. There is still too much unresolved emotion surrounding both of them, and I’d much rather focus on my studies and enjoy my ballet and art classes.”
“The odd steamy make-out sesh would be good though,” she persists. “You don’t want your lady parts to shrivel up and die.”
I roll my eyes again. “You’re relentless. Give it up. I’m not going there until I’ve properly ended things with Ayd, so you’re wasting your breath.”
She gets up, grabbing her purse and jacket, before looping her arm through mine. “Aw, look, it’s cool, I understand. You’re loyal to Ayden and I’m sure he’ll appreciate that. Don’t mind me.”
The party is kicking by the time we arrive, the bottom level of the frat house crammed with sweaty bodies. Music blares out from two large speakers in the main room, and a lively crowd dances energetically to the rhythmic beats. Mariah leads me out through the kitchen to a side room. The vibe is more chilled in here. Guys are huddled around two pool tables, drinking and chatting as they play. An energetic game of beer pong is taking place in the top corner of the room. Guys and girls sit cross-legged on the floor and clustered across the three massive leather couches propped against the walls. Music is on low in the background. Cody shoots up his arm, waving us over. He’s seated in one of the three leather recliners, game controller in hand. His buddy Jack hands us a couple of red cups. “Looking hot as fuck, ladies,” he proclaims with a wink.
