Page 64 of Inseparable
“Do you want my advice?”
I smile. “Always.”
“I wouldn’t be too hasty. Why not wait until you get to college? That could be what you both need to get back on the right track. Ayden loves you, Ange. I see it every time he looks at you.”
“I know that, M. And I love him too, but I’m not sure it’s the right kind of love. Besides, it doesn’t feel right that I’m still pining for Dev when I’m with Ayden. It feels like a betrayal, and he deserves better than that.”
“You don’t have to make any hard and fast decisions now.”
“No, I suppose I don’t.”
“Need any help?” Mom asks, propping her hip against the doorframe.
“Nope.” I zip my case. “I’m all packed.” I scan my shell of a room, and it looks cold and impersonal without all my possessions in place.
Mom rushes me, sweeping me into a mammoth hug. “I’m so proud and so excited for you. You’ve always wanted to be a psychologist, and now your journey is starting.” She squeezes me. “But I’m going to miss you so much, kiddo.”
“I’m going to miss you too, Mom. But I’m not that far away, and I’ll come home every second weekend like I promised.”
She sniffs, and her eyes are red-rimmed and glossy when she pulls back. “You make sure you do, missy.” She tweaks my nose. “Did you talk to Ayden last night?” she delicately asks.
I frown, shaking my head. “He didn’t answer any of my calls, and I was too afraid to drop over.” I don’t know what went down at the Carters last night, but we heard raised voices, shouting, and doors slamming. Prickles of unease dance across my skin, as they have done since I overhead the ruckus at his house.
The thud of approaching footsteps on the stairs captures our attention. Mom’s brows lift, and she eases out of my embrace when Ayden appears in the doorway. “Am I interrupting?”
“Not at all.” Mom pats his elbow, smiling, as she squeezes past him. “She’s all packed and ready.” I can tell how difficult it is for her to sound happy about that fact.
Ayden scratches the back of his head, averting his eyes, and pressure settles on my chest. Mom shoots me a concerned look and I shoo her away with my eyes. Taking his hand, I pull him into my bedroom, shutting the door behind me. “We heard all the commotion last night, and I tried calling you, like, a hundred times, to find out if you were all right.”
He drops down onto the bed, and I sit down beside him. He rests his elbows on his knees and leans his face on his chin. “I’m sorry I didn’t call you back. I was too fucking pissed, and I didn’t want to tell you until I was calmer.”
My stomach lurches to my toes. “Tell me what?”
He sucks in a long breath, straightening his spine before twisting around to face me. Reaching out, he takes my hands in his. He brings them to his mouth, tenderly kissing the tips of my fingers. “You know I love you, right?” I gulp over the wedge of alarm in my throat, nodding. “You know you mean so much to me, and that I’d do just about anything for you, but the time has come where I need to put myself first.”
Oh my God.He’s breaking up with me?Even though I’ve thought the same thing several times over the last couple months, now that we’re in the moment, I don’t want this. I can’t lose Ayden.
“It’s not what you’re thinking,” he rushes to reassure me, before frowning. “Or maybe it is.” His eyes crinkle with worry. “I—”
“Just say it,” I cut in, needing this to be over.
“I know this is going to come as a shock, and I’m sorry it’s all so last minute, but I thought it was for the best.”
My knee starts tapping up and down, and I think I might throttle him if he doesn’t spit the words out.
“I’m not going to UI. I’ve notified the college, and I’ve given up the full ride.”
My eyes widen. I wasnotexpecting that. “What?” I splutter. “Why the hell not? Why would you do that?” We’ve been planning this virtually our whole lives, and I don’t understand. I don’t have a freaking clue why he’s changed his mind.
He wets his lips. “I don’t want to play college ball. I’ve known for years that my heart wasn’t in it. It’s my dad’s dream, not mine, and he can’t live vicariously through me anymore. It’s killing me, Lina.”
“That’s what’s been going on with you?” He nods. “Why wouldn’t you talk to me about this? I thought it was me! I thought I was making you miserable and you were too afraid to break up with me.”
“I’m sorry I made you feel like that, but I couldn’t tell you. It was my burden to bear. My secret to carry.”
I hop up, anger rushing to the surface. “That is a fucking cop-out, and you know it. Couples tell each other this stuff!Friendstell each other this stuff! Does anyone know? Did you talk to anyone about this?”
He stands up, placing his hands on my shoulders. “I know you’re mad, and you’ve every right to be. I didn’t tell anyone until that letter came from the college about the dorms, and then I told Cody, because he needed advance notice to secure a new roomie.”
