Page 3 of Loving Kalvin
You and I aren’t meant to be.
I will never regret the time we spent together. Precious childhood memories will remain untarnished in my mind, but that future we both dreamed about as kids was a fallacy created by fertile imaginations.
It’s got to be. Because otherwise we would not have endedup here.
A sneaky tear slips out of my eye, rolling in slow motion down my face. It lands on the page, blurring the ink a little. I swipe under my eyes with my thumbs, glancing at the clock. I resume writing before I run out of time or my nerve fails.
I love you. I always have and I always will, but I’m letting you go.It’s best for everyone involved.
Dream big, Kal, because you are destined for greatthings.
Don’t lookfor me.
Ifyou’ve ever cared for me, you will do that one thing. You will stay away. Leave the past in the past, and pretend like I never evenexisted.
But remember this much—you are the only boy who ever owned a piece of my heart, and that piece will always belongto you.
I will never forget you.
Be happy.
Lana.
The tears return as I fold the page, fit it into an envelope, and write his name on the front. More quiet tears fall as I shuck off my pajamas and pull on the austere jet-black skirt suit. I button the crisp, white shirt all the way up to my neck as I toe on my ballet flats. Tucking the letter safely into the inside pocket of my jacket, I vow to find some way of getting this to Faye before the end of the day. She’s the only one I trust to deliver it to him.
I smooth my long, dark hair into a tight ponytail, taking one last look in the mirror before I leave.
I look like I’m attending my own funeral.
Which is pretty ironic, because that’s exactly what it feels like as I vacate my hotel room for the final time.
Chapter One
October of the following year
Lana
My head is buzzing, and it feels good. Feels great.
I’m doing it.
Thrusting my bottle of beer at Olivia, I stride toward the bar on slightly shaky legs, determined to properly let loose. This is the third time we’ve attended the Kappa Sigma Friday night party, and every other time I’ve wanted to do this, I’ve chickened out.
Not tonight.
Tonight, I have my big girl pants on.
The few beers I downed earlier at the Gator Growl—UF’s flagship event which marked the culmination of all the homecoming week activities—have helped loosen my inhibitions, too.
“Lana?” Olivia tugs on my elbow. “What’re you doing?”
“I’m dancing,” I confirm, kicking off my shoes. My roommate gawks at me, and I flash her a crooked grin.
Friday night is the only free time I have during the week, my one and only opportunity to cut loose, and I’m determined to make the most of it tonight.
I skip toward the bar area at the rear of the basement. This whole space was purpose-built a few years ago from a generous ex-frat alumni donation, if rumors are to be believed. The other side of the basement houses a few pool tables, a foosball table, a bunch of bean bags and low couches, and a top-notch stereo system. I stuck my head in that room one time and almost passed out from the pungent smoke infusing the air. This section is where most of the drinking and dancing takes place, and I’m way more comfortable out here.
I’ve never been a big drinker, but I allow myself a couple drinks on Fridays, as a reward of sorts for working my ass off all week.
