Page 70 of Finding Kyler
For my lost life.
For the threat that Addison poses, scaring me in ways it shouldn’t.
For a boy I can’t have and shouldn’t want.
For the never-ending gut-wrenching hollow ache in my chest and the soul-crushing loneliness I feel.
Out of everything, I cry hardest for the boy who is so fucked up in the head, he can’t help dragging others down with him. I did the right thing by pushing Ky away, because if I didn’t, I know he’d only drag me down too. Even still, the acknowledgments hit me hard, ripping my confidence and my resolve to shreds. Heartache collides with selfishness, and I feel utterly confused.
My sobbing grows louder, but I’m powerless to halt it.
The quiet click of the door alerts me to a foreign presence, but I can’t even summon the energy to tell Kyler to get lost. Arms wrap around me, hauling me into a warm chest. The crying continues unchecked as I look at Kalvin through blurry, red-rimmed eyes. He lifts me onto his lap, cradling me in his arms. “It’s okay. I’ve got you,” he croons, running his hand up and down my back in a soothing gesture.
I nuzzle into his chest, clinging onto him, and gradually the crying lessens until it’s only the odd, intermittent pitiful sob. Silently, he hands me some tissues, and I blow my nose and mop up the excess moisture on my skin.
Very gently, he stands—with me still in his arms—and places me on the bed. He helps me under the covers. Tucking the duvet under my chin, he sweeps damp strands of my hair off my face. “I’ll be back in a minute.”
I nod in zombie-like fashion, shivering under the covers. Kalvin returns a few minutes later with a cup of hot chocolate. Helping me sit up, he holds the cup to my lips and coaxes me into drinking. The warming goodness sits like a lead balloon in my stomach, but gradually it takes the chill away. “Thank you,” I whisper.
He looks at me with so much tenderness that it almost opens the well again. “Do you want me to stay? You look like you could use a friend right now.”
“Is that what we are?” I whisper.
A sad look crosses his face. “You shouldn’t have to ask that. Of course, I’m your friend. More than that, I’m your family.”
I retract the covers, unable to speak over the sentimental lump in my throat.
Kalvin holds me in his comforting embrace, and I fall asleep feeling slightly less alone in the world.
Sometime in the early hours of the morning, he slips out of the bed, planting a delicate kiss to my forehead. Still half-asleep, I clasp his fingers and squeeze. I’m drifting off again when the sound of raised voices tickles my ears. But I’m too emotionally drained to care, let alone investigate. Unconsciousness overpowers me and I fall into a deep sleep.
The smell of burnt eggs greets me the second I step foot in the kitchen the next morning. Kalvin is wafting his hand over a smoke-filled pan, scowling in frustration.
I peer into the pan, wrinkling my nose at the congealed, blackened mess. “Shoo.” I gently push him. “I’ll cook breakfast,” I offer, remembering it’s Greta’s day off.
“You’re the best.” He smacks his lips across my cheek, and I push him away more forcibly.
“Less of the slobbering if you don’t mind.” I wipe my sleeve across my cheek.
Keaton chortles from his seat at the table.
Kalvin leans his chin on my shoulder. “I’ll have you know that many a girl wishes these lips were attached to their skin.”
“I guess some girls just don’t know what’s good for them,” I joke, dumping the ruined pan and retrieving a clean one from the press.
I clutch Kalvin’s wrist before he can pull away. Leaning up, I kiss his cheek. “Thank you for last night.”
I’m expecting another brazen retort but he surprises me.
“My brother is an ass, and I’m always here for you.” He gives me a quick hug. I should correct him. Last night wasn’t only about Ky, but I don’t want to get into the other stuff.
“What are you two whispering about,” Keaton asks, sending me an inquisitive look.
“Nothing,” we chime in unison, breaking into a joint laugh. Keaton scowls a little.
I root around in the fridge, and a sudden craving hits me. “Would you guys eat pancakes?” I lean my hip against the door as I face my cousins.
“I’m about ready to eat my hand off, so anything you’re offering sounds good to me,” Keaton remarks.
