Page 85 of Finding Kyler
He slurps his coffee. “I know, but it’s going to hurt her so much. I hate that.”
“Maybe you should’ve thought of that before you started anything with Courtney.” My natural curiosity would love to know how long it’s been going on and what prompted him to start an affair in the first place, but I know it isn’t my place or my business to inquire.
“You think less of me now.” His eyes probe mine.
I shrug, unsure how to answer. “We’re still only getting to know one another.”
My reply doesn’t appear to faze him. “I’m proud of you, Faye. You have the courage to stand by your convictions. My baby sister raised you good. I’m proud of her, too.” I catch a glimpse of moisture in his eyes before he looks away.
I smile. “They were great parents. Not perfect, but they did their best, and I loved them so much.” A solitary tear spills onto my cheek. “I miss them, every damn day.”
Hesitantly, he stretches his arm around my back and nudges my head onto his shoulder. It’s not as awkward as I would’ve expected. “What was he like, your dad?”
“He was wonderful.” I smile up at him. “He was always there for Mum and me. In a lot of ways, they were completely different, but it worked, you know? They were openly affectionate in front of me, and I know they really loved each other. He was a bit older than her, and his maturity offset her childishness, although he knew how to have fun, too. They were a great team.” My eyes trek to the woods, watching the trees sway in the gentle breeze.
“I’m so glad your mother was truly loved. That you had a good upbringing.” His voice is congested with emotion. “Never a day went by where I didn’t worry about her. Old habits die hard, I suppose. She has shaped my life in so many ways.” He grows quieter.
I peer up at him and we share a look. He opens and closes his mouth, as if he’s debating saying something. I lift my head off his shoulder and eyeball him. “What?”
He wets his lips. “I think I know why your mom ran away from me.”
Everything freezes inside me. “Don’t keep me in suspense.”
Air whooshes out of his mouth. “She was pregnant with you and she must’ve been too afraid to tell me.”
I scratch the side of my head, frowning. “But she had me when she was nineteen and you said she ran away when she was seventeen?”
Slowly, he shakes his head. “I’ve checked the dates, Faye. She gave birth to you when she was seventeen.”
I hop up. “What?!” My brain is racing at a hundred miles an hour.
He rises. “It’s true. I can show you the records.” He shuffles on his feet, clearing his throat. “What did she tell you about how she met your father?”
I’m spinning in a million different directions, frantically trying to decipher this latest bombshell.
Jeez, did Mum tell me the truth about anything?
James gently taps my elbow, drawing me out of the hazy mess in my head. “He, um,”—I calm my beating heart and force myself to get it together—“he was working on a construction site in her hometown and they met at a local club.” I slap a hand against my forehead as I have a light bulb moment. “Oh my God! Thatisit!” I look deep into his eyes. “I thought Dad was only five years older than her but the age difference was even more pronounced, and if she had me at seventeen, then that means…” I clamp a hand over my mouth, horrified at the implication.
“That he had unlawful sex with a minor and he could’ve been jailed,” James finishes for me. I plop back down on the seat, completely devastated. James sits down too, speaking softly, as if I might break. “I didn’t know she had a boyfriend, and I was insistent on her finishing school, but I’d never have turned her out or handed him over to the authorities. I would have supported her if she’d confided in me.”
Tears pool in my eyes. “Has everything been a lie, James? Was anything she told me the truth?” My voice cracks at the end.
Pulling me into his side, he wraps his arms around me. “You know I can’t answer that, but my sister loved you, Faye. I see it in the way she raised you and how well she protected you even after her death. She obviously felt she was doing the right thing sheltering you from the truth, or perhaps she had planned to tell you when you were older, when the timing was right.”
I sniffle. “Guess we’ll never know now.”
He smooths a hand over my hair. “I still can’t believe she’s gone. I can’t help thinking of all the wasted opportunities, and of what you said last night. I let your mom down, and I’ll never have the chance to change that. But I can with Alex, if she’ll let me.” He plants a soft kiss to my temple. “I want to have a proper relationship with you, Faye. I can never replace your father, and I don’t want to, but I hope in time you can come to rely on me. That you can forgive me for the mistakes I’ve made. You’re very important to me. More so than you can even imagine.”
I blink up at him. “I’d like that too.”
It’s only now I realize how much hearing that means to me.
Chapter Thirty-One
At work later on, I’m a little distracted over the most recent discovery. I’m struggling to find justification for all the lies. I have to believe that Mum was planning to admit the truth at some stage, because otherwise I think I’ll stay mad at her forever. I don’t want all the good memories stained with the color of her deceit.
I’m so caught up in my mind that I don’t notice Jeremy cornering me in the corridor outside the bathrooms. “I’ve been looking for you, darlin’.” Leaning against the wall, he shoots me a sleazy smile. “You’re a tricky one to pin down.” He winks. “Give me a day and time, right now.”
