Page 83 of Finding Kyler
He buries his head in his hands. “I know you think this is all on me—”
“Oh my God!” I throw my hands in the air. “Thisisall on you! What is wrong with you? You need to man up and take responsibility for your actions. You need to tell Alex, and you need to tell her before Ky does. Don’t let your son carry that burden. Not if you hope to have any kind of relationship with him in the future.”
He slowly nods. “You’re right. Ky’s right.” He sighs. “I’ll speak to her. I’ll tell Alex.”
“See that you do.” I move past him, but he takes my arm, stalling me.
“I’m sorry, Faye.”
“I’m not the one you should be apologizing to.”
“I owe you an apology too. I’ve let you down. I’ve let all you kids down, but I’ll make it up to you. I’ll make it up to Alex.” His voice becomes strangled. “If she’ll let me.”
The honest regret on his face breaks through the temporary walls I’ve put up. He needs to understand all that’s at stake. He has a choice that I didn’t. An opportunity to repair the damage to his family. I need him to understand that, because the man in front of me is scared of facing reality.
“Don’t shy away from this, James. Try everything in your power to fix it, because if you lose your family, there’s no coming back from that. The pain you will feel inside”—I emit a strangled sob before composing myself—“is like nothing you’ve ever felt before.”
Tears trickle down my face, but I don’t try to stop them. James stands uncertainly in front of me, and I can sense the conflict within. He wants to comfort me, but he’s afraid to.
“I had no say in the matter,” I whisper, hugging my arms around my body. “My family was taken from me overnight without any warning. Without any chance to say goodbye. I thought I’d a lifetime of hugs and kisses to look forward to. An eternity of laughter and shared moments to experience. But it was all gone in the blink of an eye. My mum won’t see me graduate. My dad won’t get to walk me down the aisle. My parents won’t ever get to be grandparents.”
Crunching pain ties my stomach into painful knots. “My family is gone. They’re never coming back. And I’m trying to find a way of existing when sometimes I feel as dead as them on the inside.” Turning, I face him with a fierce look. I wipe my sleeve across my damp face. “So stop feeling sorry for yourself. You fucked up, but it isn’t too late to fix it.Yourfamily is still here. Fix it, James. Don’t let your family trickle through your fingers. Don’t blow it.” I beseech him with my eyes. “You’ve only got one family, and if you don’t make this right, it’ll destroy all of you.”
Chapter Thirty
Saturday dawns bright and early. After a leisurely swim, I eat breakfast and then set out on a mission to hunt Kalvin down. I rap loudly on his door three times. “Wakey, wakey, sunshine.”
“Get lost!” is the less than cheery response.
Offering up a silent prayer that I don’t find him visibly naked on his bed, I open his door and slip inside, shielding my eyes with one hand, just in case.
A pillow whizzes by my head. “It’s the butt crack of dawn, woman. Go away and let me sleep.” Kalvin’s sleep-laden timbre is underscored by a layer of irritation.
I pounce on his bed, and the mattress jiggles. Kal lifts his groggy head, cursing. “What is so urgent that it can’t wait?”
“Who are you sneaking out to meet in the woods?”
“Wow. Way to just put it out there.” Propping himself up on one elbow, he wipes the remnants of sleep from his eyes. The sheet falls down his body, pooling at his waist and exposing his bare chest.
“Please tell me you’re not totally naked under there.”
A devilish glint develops in his eye as he rolls flat on his back. “I always sleep naked.” He slides a hand under the sheet, palming his junk. “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours?” He winks.
“You’re gross.”
“I’m hot, and you know it.” He winks again.
“And so modest, too.” I fail to suppress my smile.
“Modesty is for pussies. I’ve a rocking body, and I know how to use it. I’m not ashamed to admit that. You gotta embrace your talents, you know?” He skims his hand over his crotch as he shoots me a sleazy grin.
“I just puked in my mouth.”
“Now, now, don’t be mean.” He mock pouts. “You wouldn’t be saying that if I was Ky.”
“I’m not talking about jackass.”
He snorts. “You two are hilarious. You should bang and get it out of your system.”
