Page 110 of Fifty First Times (Sharing You 0.40)
Bending down until my lips were hovering over hers, I kept my eyes locked on hers as I asked, “Do you still want to marry me?”
“Yes! Ja—”
I slammed my mouth down onto hers, and walked us back until we hit a wall. Running my hands up her bare legs, I grunted my aggravation when I hit the cotton of her underwear, and ripped them down her legs, waiting for her to step out of them before I ran my fingers over her clit.
“Jace,” she whimpered, and her hands went to the button on my pants.
Pressing two fingers into her, I realized, in some part of my mind, that this was probably the wrong reaction. To claim her after our fight. We should be talking it out, but I didn’t have the patience for that yet. I needed her, I needed to make her mine again, and that couldn’t wait. Circling her clit with
my thumb, I growled against her mouth when I felt her already tightening against me; and the second she had my pants and boxer briefs down, I was lifting her against the wall and slamming into her.
She screamed as her body instantly exploded into an orgasm, and to my embarrassment, I didn’t know how long I could last. The adrenaline from fighting earlier, the need to show both of us that she belonged to me, the way she clenched around me as her body shook with the aftershocks of her orgasm was enough to make this like our first time all over again. But as I pushed into her again and again, my body tightening to the point of pain before I followed her with my own release, I knew I was now a fan of makeup sex.
And I was ready to go again. But now that my head was somewhat clear, I knew we had to talk.
Without releasing her, I walked us into our bedroom, and laid us down on our bed.
Fear exploded through my body when I realized she was shaking and crying silently. “Kinlee—oh God. Did I hurt you? I’m so sorry,” I whispered and ran my hands over her wet cheeks.
Shaking her head, she grabbed my wrists and pulled my hands from her face as she sat up on the bed. “I can’t—I can’t do this. I can’t do this to you.”
“What? Kinlee, no! Don’t say that, whatever happened earlier, we’ll talk it out, we’re going to be fine.” She just said she still wanted to marry me! What the hell?
“No, no we won’t! You don’t understand, Jace! I-I can’t—” she cut off quickly, bursting into loud, strained sobs and she curled over her naked body. Her head pressed against the bed, her back really the only part of her I could see.
“Baby, please, you’re scaring the shit out of me. Whatever it is, I swear to you we’ll work through it.”
I sat there, watching helplessly as she cried, and minutes later, all I heard was “I can’t give you children.”
My body froze. How many times had we talked about kids? We’d had our whole family planned out for years. Was she saying she didn’t want that now?
Before I could respond, she continued. “My periods have always been weird, sometimes not coming for months at a time. But now, I haven’t had it in almost a year, so I asked my doctor about it. We’ve been doing what she called, minor tests, and my doctor kept assuring me everything was fine, and not to worry about it. She figured it had something to do with growing up as a dancer, that’s why I never told you. I got a call yesterday, they wanted me to come in today. She explained everything in medical terms, but I had no idea what she was telling me, then she said it basically meant that I’d stopped producing eggs. And even with fertility treatments, I most likely couldn’t have—couldn’t have—” More sobs wracked her body, and I pulled her onto my lap.
“It’s okay, baby. We’ll try the treatments, we’ll try whatever you want. No matter the cost, we’ll figure it out.”
“Don’t you understand?” she asked, pushing away from me. “The one thing you wanted, I can’t give you!”
Gripping her face, I waited until she was looking at me before I spoke soft and low. “You are so wrong. I want you, Kinlee, all I’ve ever wanted was you.”
Tears continued falling down her cheeks, and my heart broke for her, for us. It was something we’d always talked about, dreamed of. But that didn’t make me love her any less. If she wanted to try the treatments, we would. If she wanted to adopt, we would. If we decided to just be the two of us, then that’s exactly what we would be.
My throat tightened at the thought of Kinlee never carrying our baby, but I knew I needed to be strong for her right now, so I blinked back the tears, and bit back my own cry that was trying to force its way up my throat.
“I thought when I told you that you would decide you didn’t want to be with me anymore. That you would want someone who could give you a family. I’m sorry for everything I said to you tonight, I’d just been so upset all night, and not knowing what would happen once you found out had my mind running wild. I’m so sorry, Jace.”
Kissing her lips softly, I hushed her and pressed my forehead to hers. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry for the things I said to you, and I’m sorry for walking out that door. But, Kinlee, I love you. I’m going to love you until the day I die, and nothing will ever change that. You understand me?”
She nodded slowly, and took a staggering breath in.
“You and I have gone through too much together to let this break us now. And I’m sure there will be more in our future that seems like it’s too hard to get through. But we’ve always gotten through them together, and we’ll continue to do it that way. And, babe, don’t ever think for one second that I would want someone who isn’t you.” Grabbing her chin, I tilted her head back to look at her beautiful face. “You shared all my firsts with me, Kinlee Ann, and I’m gonna make sure every last experience will be shared with you too.”
Her lips curved up slightly, and a soft laugh bubbled past her lips. “I love you so much.”
“I love you too, Kinlee. I’ll always love you.”
About the Author
MOLLY McADAMS grew up in California but now lives in the oh-so-amazing state of Texas with her husband and furry four-legged daughters. Her hobbies include hiking, snowboarding, traveling, and long walks on the beach . . . which roughly translates to being a homebody with her hubby and dishing out movie quotes. When she’s not diving into the world of her characters, she can be found hiding out in her bedroom surrounded by her laptop, cell, and Kindle, and fighting over the TV remote. She has a weakness for crude-humored movies and fried pickles and loves curling up in a fluffy comforter during a thunderstorm . . . or under one in a bathtub if there are tornados. That way she can pretend they aren’t really happening.
