Page 21 of Fifty First Times (Sharing You 0.40)
“Are you deaf?” I snap, panic cutting to my core. “I said go!”
When he doesn’t, I lift my other hand to my face and cringe against my palms.
“I’m sorry,” Mom says. “I’ll see you out.”
For a long minute, there’s silence, but then Rick’s voice, so soft it hurts. “I know your computer camera’s not broken. I know you’re not telling me everything.”
My cringe deepens when he calls me on my lie. That was my excuse when he wanted to go back to Skyping. A tear leaks over my lashes and I swallow the rest back.
“Please.” He’s even closer, and I feel a sob claw up my throat. “Talk to me.”
“I need you to go,” I say again, but it’s strangled. The sound of my anguish causes more tears to burn my eye. I press my face into my hands and hunch deeper, trying to vanish into myself, but I can’t contain the sob any longer. It escapes on a choked “Oh, God.”
“I didn’t realize how much this would upset her. You really need to leave.” Mom’s voice is firm, but alarmed.
“With all due respect, Mrs. Vargas, I think that’s the last thing I need to do.” There’s an edge to Rick’s words that softens the next second as he sits on the bed next to me. “Rene, I can handle whatever it is. Ple
ase. I want to help you.”
At the sound of him using my first name, I’m flooded with despair. “Nobody can help me!” rips out of me on another sob.
I hear him sigh. “Can I talk to her alone for a minute?”
“You’re just upsetting her,” Mom says, her worry now an audible shake in her voice. “You need to leave right now, before I call the police.”
Acid burns in my throat as I lift my face. It’s done. He knows. There’s no point hiding anymore. I was going to end this when he called today anyway, and once he gets a look at me, I won’t have to worry about how. I blow out a shaky breath and lower my hands. “It’s okay, Mom.”
“You’re sure?” she asks warily, panic still lacing her words.
I bob a defeated nod.
“I’ll be right outside,” she says, and then the door clicks closed.
I close my eyes and take a deep breath before turning to face Rick. Not that I’d be able to see much with them open. What I really want to do is close my ears so I don’t hear the horrified gasp.
I wait, but nothing happens.
I open my eyes and he’s still there—blond hair, and a tanned face over a dark T-shirt.
“Does it hurt?” he finally asks, his voice low. “Are you in pain?”
My head shakes slightly before I even realize I’m responding. “Not really.” Not physical pain, anyway.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” There’s none of the disgust I imagined hearing when he said those words in my head.
I lower my face into my hands again. “Because I’m repulsive.”
I hear myself whimper softly as he gently coaxes a hand away from my face and grasps it tightly. He’s warm and solid. After nearly a year of only being able to talk, it’s amazing and terrifying to finally be able to touch him.
“You’re not repulsive, V. You’re the same person you’ve always been. Just with a little . . . customization.”
I blow out a laugh despite myself, sending spittle flying.
“Thanks, but I already showered,” he says with a smile in his voice.
I laugh again, not so wetly this time. But all of a sudden, tears are streaking my face.
“Hey,” he says, “I’m a sensitive guy and all, but tears sort of freak me out.”
