Page 186 of Fifty First Times (Sharing You 0.40)
He laughs, a low, dark sound that works its way up my spine. And then he starts all over again, building my need to fever pitch.
By the time he’s satisfied, I’ve come three times and am somehow still desperate for more. Desperate for him, inside me. Except he murmurs, “I forgot. I don’t have any condoms.”
“It’s okay,” I tell him, reaching into the bottom drawer of the nightstand. The resort always provides a three-pack for its guests—for a small fee, of course.
“How did you know . . .”
I run my hands over his hair. “I work here now.”
He rears back, regret flashing in his eyes. I know he’s thinking about all the places he’s been, all the money he’s starting to make, but none of that matters to me. I’m not sad, I have no regrets, and I want him to know that. I need him to know that.
“I love you, Gage,” I tell him, the first time I’ve ever said it to anyone who wasn’t a family member.
It hits him like an arrow, his strong, powerful body arching against mine. And then he’s stripping off his pants, reaching for the condoms. Slipping inside of me.
And though it hurts more than I thought it would, I wouldn’t change a thing about this moment.
“I’m sorry,” Gage whispers when I cry out.
“I’m not,” I tell him, wrapping my legs around him and holding him tightly to me.
“I love you,” he murmurs to me, as he starts to move. “I love you, Dyani. I’ve always loved you.”
I turn my head so he can’t see the tears leaking down my face. Not of pain, but of joy in this one perfect moment.
The pain dissipates, and though I’m not expecting it, the pleasure starts to build again. Gage seems to know, because he reaches between us and strokes me until I come again.
When it’s done, Gage collapses on the bed beside me,
petting and kissing and touching me. I’m doing the same to him, memorizing him for the long weeks and months and years ahead.
“I can’t leave you,” he says. “Not ever again.”
For a second, just a second, my heart trembles in my chest. But then reality sets in and I know these moments are all we can ever have. He has a bright, bright future ahead of him—the X Games, the Olympics, everything he’s ever wanted. And I, I have a family who needs me.
“You have to,” I whisper, stroking my hand down the perfect muscles of his back.
“I don’t.” He sits up then, glares at me. “When I left when I was seventeen, I had nothing. No prospects, no money, nothing but a hundred-dollar snowboard and the hope of one day being good enough.”
“And now you have everything. It’s all right there, waiting for you to take it.”
“It is. I know it is.” He leans over, kisses my forehead. “But that includes you.”
“Gage—”
“Dyani.” He mimics my tone perfectly. “We can make this work. Sure, during the season it’ll be tough. But there are six whole months where snow isn’t on the ground and there aren’t any competitions. I can be here with you, then.”
“You hate Taos.”
“But I love you. Enough to come back here for you again and again and again.”
“You came back for the competition, not for me.”
“Oh, but I wanted you. I was sitting up there on that damn boulder trying to work up the nerve to call you and beg your forgiveness.”
“There was never anything to forgive, Gage.”
“You and I don’t see things the same way.”
