Page 176 of Fifty First Times (Sharing You 0.40)
Blake nodded. “You have no idea. I get there are dudes that want to wait until they’re married or whatever, but that isn’t me. I feel like . . .”
“A child,” Summer finished for him. She, too, felt like a child. Like there was a part of her she’d been holding on to and now that she was there, in college, she felt desperate to let it go. The problem was she didn’t want to just let it go to some drunken guy on some drunken night. That wasn’t her. Never had been. She glanced over at Blake, his gaze focused on the road in front of him, and an idea occurred to her. What if they lost it to each other? They had been friends forever. They could do it without their friendship becoming complicated. Right? She had been pushing aside her feelings for Blake forever. Sex wouldn’t change anything. It would be a simple act, and then they would both be free. The thought continued to churn in her mind, growing more and more logical. More and more exciting.
They reached her dorm building, and she peered over at Blake. She had never been one to hold back, but this . . . this was different. She adjusted her footing from one foot to the other.
“What is it?” Blake said, picking up on her unease.
Summer opened her mouth. Say it. Just say it. What is he going to do? Laugh? Not likely. But he could grimace, which would be horrifying in every way. She closed her mouth back, and he took a step toward her. The step was nothing out of the ordinary, but something in the way he positioned his body, the way he leaned just a little bit into her, made it almost intimate. “Tell me,” Blake said.
Summer looked up, her heart torn, and then the words were tumbling out of her mouth before she could stop them. “What if we lost it to each other?”
Five
BLAKE STRAIGHTENED, EVERY thought in his brain trying to work through what Summer had said. “Did you say what I think you said?”
She looked away uncomfortably, and then back at him as though deciding in that moment that she was serious. Committed. “It doesn’t have to be awkward. Just a friend helping another friend out.”
Blake drew a slow breath and released it, his eyes never leaving Summer’s. The thou
ght made his insides heat up, his body dying to take another step toward her, but he resisted. If they were going to do this, really do this, it had to be planned out and practical. Otherwise, he wasn’t sure once he had her in his arms that he would be able to let go. He thought of his grandmother’s words about sex, about the likelihood of pregnancy. “Are you . . .” He rubbed a hand over the back of his neck. “Are you still on the pill? I remember you used to take it for cramps or something, right? Shit. This is . . .” He turned around, needing a moment to think, to breathe, without Summer’s tempting face staring back at him.
She went around him, forcing him to face her. “Yes. But we could use extra stuff, ya know? Statistically, the pill is only like ninety-nine percent effective, so maybe if we used a condom, too, then we’d close that one percent gap.” Her face crinkled up in deep thought as she contemplated the risk, and Blake burst out laughing.
“What?” she asked, punching his arm.
“Nothing. It’s just most students here don’t think this much. It’s just sex, right? Animals do it.”
Summer focused on Blake, their eyes locking. “So, we’re going to do it?”
Blake thought again about his grandmother’s words, the picture of his dad in his college football jersey. Could he take the risk? Then his gaze swept over Summer. If there was anyone worth the risk, it was she. “Yes. How about tomorrow night?”
“Sunday?” Summer blanched. “There has to be a better day to have sex than Sunday.”
Blake nodded. “Point taken. Friday night, then? I can make sure Jamison stays with one of his girls.”
Summer looked down, nervous again. “What if he comes home early?”
“He isn’t going to come into my bedroom.”
“But what if we’re . . .” She shook her head, her cheeks red even in the darkness. “Loud,” she whispered.
At that Blake’s dick became instantly hard. He put his hands in his pockets and tugged down his jeans to hide the evidence, but damn, the thought of Summer in his bed, being loud, was enough to drive him insane. “I’ll make sure he isn’t there,” Blake finally said.
“Okay.”
“Okay,” Blake replied. “So, Friday night?”
“Friday night.”
Blake spent the rest of the week getting beaten up in practice and called out in class, his mind on one thing for the first time in his college experience—sex. And the fact that he would no longer be a virgin by the end of the week. He wondered if this would start an addiction, or something. Men claimed to become addicted to sex all the time, and then where would he be? His nerves kicked up, and he considered texting Summer that they should wait, but he didn’t want to be afraid of this anymore. It wasn’t just about being a man. It was about proving to himself that he was different from his dad. He could live his life outside his dad’s shadow. What was he supposed to do? Be a virgin for the rest of his life? That couldn’t be good for his game.
Friday came both too slowly and too quickly. He decided the best thing was to try to make it romantic, the kind of thing Summer would laugh at, but he couldn’t imagine opening his door and simply saying, “Ready?”
He got a cart at Wal-Mart, praying he wouldn’t see any of the guys, and started filling it up with condoms and K-Y jelly and some scented candles and shit. He glanced down at the cart mid-aisle and shook his head. He was acting like a chick. Dudes didn’t buy scented candles. What the fuck was wrong with him?
He reached down to put back the candles, and then sat them back down. This wasn’t just any girl. This was Summer, and she deserved for him to try. He continued on, grabbing a few things here and there. He went to self-checkout and bagged up his things, then glanced at his watch.
Summer would be at his apartment in an hour.
