Page 147 of Fifty First Times (Sharing You 0.40)
It’s only nine-thirty. I have to find something to do to distract me from counting down the minutes. I also have to figure out an escape plan because after ten we aren’t allowed to leave camp, or for that matter, leave our tents except to pee. Gathering round the bonfire with all my other classmates seems to be my best hope of a distraction. I find Bobby and Sarah cuddling up together and I sit down, while Jimmy does his best to remember the chords to “Build Me Up Buttercup” because it’s the only song that we all collectively know the words to. Our Argentine guide asked us to regale him with an American song.
Bobby leans over and says “Why do songs always seem so much longer when you’re doing karaoke?”
“I don’t know, man. Maybe it’s because the spotlight and attention is solely on you, and when you’re singing along to the radio, you’re in your own world,” I say with a laugh. With that I realize that the spotlight is on me, and this new person I’m becoming doesn’t mind as much as the old me.
While we are all talking and making s’mores I can’t help but wish Sybilla was here to share this with me, I know that’s crazy because we just met but suddenly I just don’t care what everyone else would think or what society or my parents would think. I want what makes me happy and that’s her. I must have looked really vexed because Jewels came over and put her arm around my back.
“You okay, sailor?”
“Yeah, I’m doing fine, I guess I’m just kind of taking in this whole experience, you know? We’re really lucky to be having it,” I lie, but only to save her feelings. I know she likes me. I suppose it’s not really a lie, more of a withholding.
“I totally understand. If you really sit back and think about it, I don’t know anyone that’s as lucky as us.”
“I couldn’t agree more.”
“You know, I’m glad that we both got to do this. We don’t really spend a lot of time at school together and it’s been really nice getting to know you.”
“Yeah, me too. I like hanging out with you,” I say, not realizing where this was going.
“Listen, Luke, I’ve been wanting to do this for a while . . .” She turns her head and leans in to kiss me, and I instantly lean away.
“Hold still. Why are you teasing me?” she says playfully.
I put my hands on her shoulders. “Listen, Jewels, I really like you too as a friend, and before we came here I would have done anything to be in this situation. But I met someone and I’ve really fallen for them.” Did I really just say that out loud? Have I really fallen for this mystery girl I hardly know?
“Ohhh, I had no idea, who is it?”
“The hostess at the restaurant, her name’s Sybilla?”
“Does she even speak English?” Her eyebrows come together in a mix of anger and confusion.
“No, not really, but I don’t know, somehow it works.”
She gets up to leave, and I can see her eyes glassing over. “Well, I’m happy you’re happy.” She fakes a smile and sulks off with her friends.
I never wanted to hurt her feelings but I don’t want have any desire for anyone else, not in that way anyway. I sit back down next to Bobby and Sarah by the campfire and try not to think about how I hurt Jewels’s feelings.
On the way back to the tent I relay my plan to Bobby.
“You’re going to meet her at the beach, man? What if you misunderstood her message or your feelings?”
“I know what it said, I’m doing this. I just need you to cover for me if Mr. Tio comes around and randomly checks the tents while I’m gone. If he does just tell him I went to the bathroom and I haven’t been feeling that well or something, I don’t know.”
“Okay, okay, man. I just hope it’s worth the risk. If he catches you you’re gonna get sent home, he’s been threatening from the start.”
“It’s totally worth it.” I’m trying to convince myself as well that this isn’t totally stupid. As I lay my head down on my bedroll, I set the alarm on my watch for eleven fifty-five and close my eyes and try to quiet my mind. But it’s racing a thousand miles an hour.
When I hear the first beep of my alarm, I pop up, wipe the sleep from my eyes, and don my jacket. I unzip my tent as quietly as possible and I crawl out on my hands and knees, soldier style. I catch the aroma of the fading fire mixed with the brisk, clean night air. When I get past the campsite, I jump to my feet and head east to the beach and the sea. I couldn’t have asked for a better night to escape. The stars are shining in the sky and the moon is full.
I leave the flashlight stashed in my pocket and venture onward to the moon-soaked beach. I take off my shoes and let the cold sand slip between my toes and savor the coolness. I finally spot the huge rock on the beach.
And there she is.
She’s wearing a long red dress with a black chunky sweater to keep off the winter chill. I can see her smiling from where I stand, and all I want to do is close the distance between us and kiss her again.
“Hola.” Might as well practice my Spanish, right?
