Page 131 of Fifty First Times (Sharing You 0.40)
“Does Sammie know you’re here?” Shock pinches a line between his eyebrows, and he lets me go, crossing his arms as though to ward off whatever trouble I’ve brought.
Strangely, he doesn’t seem totally dismayed to see me.
“What are you doing here?” I counter, not ready to confess to my level of crazy.
“My girlfriend left her phone charger in my car, and I’m dropping it off.”
“You have a girlfriend?” It seems weird, to me, even though Wade always has been attractive. Sweet guy, handsome face, killer body. He’d hooked up plenty, and none of those girls were ready to go when he tired of them, but a real girlfriend . . . that’s something.
“It’s been two years since I’ve seen you, Tressa. Yes, I have a girlfriend. Noel’s getting married. But I’m guessing you already know that.” He eyes me, his gaze a mixture of trepidation and fondness.
It reminds me we were friends once—are friends, maybe, if friendship doesn’t die when it’s shoved to life’s back burner. I step forward, my smile hesitant, but I know Wade almost as well as I know Noel. He folds me in a hug ten seconds later. His arms feel familiar, like slipping into a too-big, too-worn sweater.
“It’s good to see you,” he murmurs, before pushing me away and folding his arms. “Now, what the fuck are you doing here?”
“Um . . .”
“Oh, Jesus. Really? I’m going to get to witness another epic Tressa meltdown?” He’s only half kidding. “I can’t decide whether I prefer emotionally flailing you or bottled-up you. Do you have a middle setting?”
“I’m not going to melt down, or freak out, or assault anyone with snack food, I swear. I just want to talk to him.”
“Why?”
“I need to.”
Wade’s eyes search mine. “What about what Noel needs?”
The question slides needles beneath my skin. Ashlee made the same point—that it’s selfish of me to focus on relieving my regret without regard of what coming here will do to Noel. But I doubt it will do anything but reinforce his decision. The last time we were together, I tried to tell him everything—that not only did I love him, but I’d always loved him. He hadn’t wanted to hear it.
But I still needed to say it.
“Maybe it’s selfish, Wade, but I have to.”
He stares at me for a long time, expression unreadable. “Listen, we’re doing his bachelor thing tonight. We’re going out for a few drinks at Shakespeare’s—you know, the piano bar?”
“Why are you telling me this?” It’s too much to hope that, after everything, Wade might still believe I’m the best girl for his friend.
“You’re not screwing this up for him, Tressa. You fucked him up for a solid two years, maybe more, and that’s enough. He’s over it. You need to get over it. If that means you talk to him tonight and get the hell out of town before the wedding, then that’s what we’re going to do.”
His words hit me like a slap in the face, deserved maybe, but harsh. Unexpected from gentle Wade, who throws the parties, grins at everyone, and minds his own business. But Wade is right. Four years should be long enough to get over something. Someone.
I’d let Noel down, all those nights when he tried so hard to tell me how he felt, to get me to admit I felt that way, too. I’d refused because I was scared. Immature.
In the end, though, he’d let me down, too.
Four
Noel
WADE LISTENED TO me, at least, in coming to Shakespeare’s. It reminds me of college since we spent tons of time here while we were undergrads, but it’s not crowded. The campus bars are busier on Thursday nights, with tons of cheap beer specials and the bonus of being within walking distance of most of the dorms. It’s not empty here, by any means, though. Wade reserved a table for the five of us, and if he hadn’t, we’d be standing. Fatigue drags through my blood, not helped by the beer, but it’s my last night out with the guys.
“To Noel! To sleeping with one woman for the rest of your life.”
We clink glasses, no one mentioning the fact that I’d only slept with two women in my entire life. Alice had been my first, when we’d dated in high school. The other had been a random one-night stand during my early attempts to get over Tressa.
Tressa . . . Tressa who appears to be here in this bar tonight.
