Page 136 of His Perfect Poison
“I will never lie to you.”
I pull my hand to free it from his. “Let me do this. Let me help you.” I scoop out the cream, a lot of it, and dab it on him.
I’m having flashbacks to when I coated myself in poison. Why did I do it? Why was I so focused on my plan? Why didn’t I think it through? I glide my fingers up his cheeks, trying to reach under the loose bandages. He has blisters everywhere, even on his ears. When I get to them, he winces, and I stop, sucking in a breath. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay.”
“It’s not okay,” I rave. “You’re hurting! Because of me.”
“No,” he says. “I feel things… because of you.”
I shake my head and realize he can’t see me. I bite my lip and start coating his upper chest and arms with the lotion.
“I didn’t feel anything until I found you. It was like my skin was dead. I had no feeling left in me. Couldn’t reach it. Until you.”
“Because I hurt you.” I smear the cream over his blistered bicep.
“Because you healed me.”
“I’m not a healer. I’m… I’m a fuck up.” It feels so good to finally admit it. “I wanted to be so strong. I wanted to be a supervillain?—”
“No,” he’s saying. “No?—”
“I am. Will you stop being nice to me? This is all my fault.”
“It’s not and never will be. The Vesuvios got what they deserved.”
All I can see is Kaiser face down on the floor. “I failed.” My tears burn my throat, and my voice cracks. “I failed you.” It hurts, it hurts. And it hurts more knowing I hurt him. This ache in my chest? It’s what I deserve.
“You did what you had to do. Baby, please hear me. Just because it didn’t go right, doesn’t mean that you didn’t do right. You’re not in control of everything. No one can be in control of everything. Not even supervillains.”
Oh fuck me. I’m sobbing now, and it hurts like my heart is ripping apart. “I’m such a fuck up. I am, I am.”
His hand cups my face. The back of his hand is still raw, and my tears are falling on him—it must burn. But he just murmurs, “It’s okay, baby, let it out. Let it go.”
“He left me,” I cry. I feel weak and useless, so I let the tears run down my face. I can’t do anything else. “He’s gone. He never wanted me.”
“Baby.”
“Don’t leave me.” I grip his hand, fighting the urge to scream. Mama, don’t leave! “Everyone else is gone. I don’t want you to leave. I want you to stay with me.”
“I’m here. You’re not getting out of this marriage so easily. We have a lifetime, remember?”
Now I’m crying because I can see it. Years and years with him. I see us walking through the orchard, holding hands, the sun glinting off his golden hair. All the moments stretching beyond our happily ever after. And I want it. I want it so bad. “Dammit, I wanted to be strong.” I wipe the extra cream on the back of his hand. “I was so stupid, thinking I could be a supervillain.”
“You are. You are the best villain I’ve ever met. You scare me.”
I laugh sadly. “No, I don’t.”
“You do. And you’re going to unleash terror on this world unlike anyone’s ever known. I believe in you. But also… you’re not alone. Not anymore. I’m not leaving, Bella. You’re stuck with me.”
I sleep in a chair beside him, my face planted on the bed, his hand on my head.
I wake when he groans. He shifts in the bed, making it creak. “No, stop—” he moans.
“Kaiser?” I croak. My head is pounding and woozy at the same time. I’m probably dehydrated. I wet my lips so I can speak. “I’m here.”
But he’s caught in a nightmare, thrashing. He’s going to hurt himself. I pull back the covers, and still he fights. The blisters on his face crack and bleed, and he still doesn’t stop tossing and turning. “The bars. I can feel them—” His cry turns to a roar. His veins stand out on his skin.
