Page 74 of Bold Angel
Did he mean by his this
You can guess what he meant by his that!
The jester was delightful, holding everyone’s attention, teasing and jibbing and calling forth their cheers. For the first time in weeks, the dimples in Richard’s cheeks appeared and later in the evening Caryn saw him speaking to the jester near the fire.
She watched them a moment, envious at the laughter they shared, feeling sad and forlorn inside, yet still smiling brightly. It took such concentration, she missed the heavy footsteps that marked her husband’s approach behind her.
“You appear uncommonly gay this eve,” he said. “’Twas hardly the mood I expected.”
“Because of what happened this morning?”
“Aye. ’Twas tears I saw last on your cheeks.”
“The last of their kind you will see, I’ll warrant. The tears of a foolish young girl. Tonight I am a woman. One whose eyes have finally been opened.”
“I did not mean to hurt you.”
“’Twas hardly your fault that I was such a fool.”
For a moment Ral said nothing. Then he took her arm and started for the stairs.
“What are you doing?” Caryn jerked her arm away.
“’Tis late. ’Tis time that we retired.”
Caryn’s gaze narrowed on his darkly handsome face. “Since we’ve guests in the hall this eve, you may walk me up the stairs. If you mean to join me in our chamber, you will find that you are no longer welcome.”
Ral clamped his jaw. “You are my wife. ’Tis your duty to accept me in your bed whenever I wish it.”
Caryn laughed, the sound unnaturally harsh. “If you believe for one moment, my lord, that what we shared before will beanything like what you will get from me now you are sorely mistaken. You have chosen to sleep with your whore. ’Tis the only place you will find comfort.”
She started toward the stairs and felt her husband’s presence beside her. By the time they reached their chamber, Caryn’s heart was pounding. He could force her; he was certainly strong enough. But she meant what she had said. ’Twould be bitterness he stirred, not passion. He could take his pleasure, but she would feel nothing but icy resentment.
“I will give you some time. Soon you will learn ’tis only a man’s way to find ease with a number of women.”
For an instant, Caryn faltered, her cool facade slipping away. Pain filled her eyes and with it a glistening film of tears. “I have always learned quickly, my lord. You may be certain this lesson will not soon be forgotten.”
Something flashed in Ral’s eyes, then it was gone. Caryn turned away from him and went into her chamber, closing the door on her husband and her dreams.
***
Troubled and unable to sleep, Ral spent a restless night in the solar. And the next night and the next. The tax collector, and his friend Hassan the surgeon, had set off with Stephen for Grennel, Malvern’s castle in the south, where he and his men would leave them. It was quiet once more in the great hall, quieter than Ral had ever seen it.
An unsettling quiet, an uncommon quiet. It seemed the very walls were filled with gloom.
Or was it merely a reflection of the gloom that filled his heart?
Ral shifted on his thick fur pallet, working to make himself comfortable.’Twill lessen,he told himself.In time this pain will end.But he wondered how long itwould take, wondered that the loss of his small wife’s affections could make him hurt this badly.
Ral swore a savage oath and tossed back the covers. Better to control his feelings now than to let her take control. Seeing Eliana and Stephen had brought that notion home with bitter force.
Still, he had to admit he missed her laughter and companionship, her gentleness and humor, the warmth of her body next to his. He missed the passion they had shared and the soft look in her eyes when he had brought her to fulfillment.
“Enough!” he said out loud. “’Tis foolishness for a man to be so taken with a woman.” In time, he was sure, he would break the hold Caryn had upon his heart. In time, she would accept him once more as her lord and allow him into her bed.
Even now, should he desire it, he could walk down the hall, jerk open her door, and demand she submit to his will. He could do it—’twas certainly within his rights as her husband and lord. But he knew she would fight him and he had never forced a woman.
She was small and he might hurt her.
