Page 122 of Bold Angel
“About the night you spoke with Geoffrey.”
She swayed a little on her feet, the pain was so great, and Ral reached out to steady her. Just the touch of his hand sent a fissure of longing through her body.
“You are all right?”
“’Tis only that… that I would rather not remember. ’Tis painful for me. I—”
“I too would rather not recall, but I must know why it was that you told Geoffrey about the Ferret.”
A hard ache rose in her throat. He was making her remember when she tried so hard to forget. “I did not mean to.” She swallowed, wishing it was not so difficult to speak. “’Twas the wine, I suppose. It made me see things, say things.… Often I have wondered why he did it… what was it that he had to gain.”
“He wanted the land. Malvern promised the king’s bounty in exchange for information.”
Caryn nodded absently. The reason no longer seemed important. “During the time of his illness, he spoke of his mother, of caring for her as his father never had. You once told me that he was ambitious. Too late, I discovered ’twas the truth.”
“Then he was not your lover.”
She shook her head and smiled forlornly. “Nay, my lord. I was ever faithful to you.”
Ral’s jaw went taut. “You are saying that you did not love him.”
“Geoffrey? He was little more than a boy. I felt naught but friendship for Geoffrey.”
For the longest time Ral said nothing. When he did, his voice sounded oddly strained. “I should have asked you to explain. I am bitterly sorry.”
“Explain, my lord? There is naught to explain. Your men are dead because of me. You entrusted me with your secret and I revealed it. Once again I betrayed you. ’Tis I who am sorry, my lord.”
Ral turned and gripped her shoulders, his fingers biting in, forcing her attention to his face. “You did not betray me! Think you that had Geoffrey gained the knowledge from Odo in such a manner I would have banned him from the castle?”Banned him from my life? From my heart?“Think you I would not have seen the fault was Geoffrey’s, that he alone was to blame?”
“I-I do not understand.”
“We all make mistakes, Cara. The mistake you made was in trusting Geoffrey. ’Tis your nature to place your faith in others and ’tis not something I would have you change. ’Twas never my intention to punish you for making a misjudgment, for certainly I have made mistakes myself.”
“You, my lord?”
“Aye. I made a terrible mistake the night I sought out Lynette. ’Twas a deed I regret most sorely.”
“Your men are dead, my lord, because of me. There is naught that can change that.”
“My men are dead because of Geoffrey!”
Caryn said nothing more, just stared at him as if she tried to grasp his words. He raked a hand through his hair and looked down at her, uncertain what more to say, fighting an urge to touch her, knowing if he did he would crush her against him.
“There is a favor I would ask you, Cara.”
“Aye, my lord. But first I would ask a favor of you.” He arched a brow. “You wish a boon of me?”
“Aye.”
“What is it?”
“I would ask that from this day forward you do not return to this place. You have seen that I am well. If you wish to set aside our marriage, I ask that it be another who carries the news.”
Ral fought the tightness in his chest. “Why?”
She gave him a sad little smile and he noticed there were tears in her eyes. “I do not wish to see you… because it hurts my heart… too much.” Unconsciously her hand came up to the spot and Ral felt as if a blade sank into his own.
“I beg you,cherie,you are killing me with every word. Do not say more until you have heard the favor I would ask.”
