Page 95 of A Cup of Autumn
Her eyes stung as if she’d been dicing onions. She rubbed them, not wanting to cry again. She’d cried enough these past two days. Texts from Keaton had only made it worse, so she’d stopped replying. Unfortunately, he kept messaging her.
Raine sighed. “I can’t believe I’m in the same place with Keaton as I was with Emmett. Silver Falls wasn’t enough for either of them.” She wasn’t enough to make them want to stay. “But somehow with Keaton, I feel way worse.”
“Worse how?” Taryn asked.
“With Emmett, things ran their course. We met when I moved to Silver Falls. He decided to stick around for me. We dated for almost four years. He supported my business and helped me. It was easy. Convenient. We took each other for granted. Became comfortable. I thought I loved him, which is why I tried long-distance dating twice. But I wasn’t doing that for the right reason. For us. I feared being alone again. Afraid I might not be able to handle everything on my own. Because Emmett was here when I started the coffee shop.”
Pippa rubbed her chin. “He was, but you’re the reason Tea Leaves and Coffee Beans is a success. Emmett supported you, but you’re doing well because of you.”
“Thanks.” Raine had the best friends. “I was so unhappy after the breakup. I thought I’d closed the door to another relationship. I was attracted to Keaton, but I never planned on letting him in. I was trying something new the same way he was with pumpkin spice. I thought I was preparing for when I was ready to date, not realizing my heart was dating him. He was upfront about his plans the entire time. I was the one who let my feelings get carried away.”
“It’s a different situation than with Emmett,” Taryn said.
Callie nodded. “But my brother could have handled it better.”
“It sucks.” Anna ate her cookie.
Callie fiddled with her fortune. “Keaton is as torn up about this as you are, Raine.”
That should make Raine happy, right? Except it didn’t. “He’s pursuing his dream. That should make him happy.”
“But he’s leaving you behind to do so,” Pippa said. “One of those double-edged swords.”
That made sense but… “For all I know we wouldn’t have lasted beyond Halloween.” Raine had been trying to see this from all angles, including Keaton’s. “I guess it hurts more because I’m mourning what could have been. I knew with Emmett. But Keaton and I will never have a chance to see what we could have together. He didn’t set out to hurt me.”
“They never do,” Anna said. “But somehow they manage to.”
“It’s not Keaton’s fault. He told me he was here to regroup and apply for jobs. My heart is the one to blame.” Raine needed to defend him. “We didn’t have a bad, blowout breakup. He’s off to pursue his dreams. How can I be mad at him for that?”
Taryn grabbed a wonton out from a container. “You can’t.”
“And that must hurt even more,” Anna added.
Milo rolled onto his back, so Raine rubbed his belly.
Callie shifted positions. “Keaton’s dream has always been to be a tenured professor at a top university. He’s never considered anything else, which shows how much of an arrogant snob he is when it comes to academia. Losing his job rattled him and his self-confidence. You helped him get that back, Raine.”
Raine held up a wineglass. “Cheers to me.”
“You deserve all the cheers.” Compassion filled Callie’s smile. “The new university is more elite than where he was. Until he achieves the dream he’s been chasing since he was a teenager or changes his mind about it like he did his major, there’s no way you could compete. It’s…bad timing.”
Raine appreciated Callie’s openness. “My timing’s been off my entire life, except for opening the coffee shop. I should focus my attention there and forget about guys the way I planned.”
Until Keaton and their practice date, she hadn’t even wanted a romance let alone a boyfriend. Except she’d found both. A part of her believed she’d found even more.
Anna touched her shoulder. “You’ve got this. And you’ve got us.”
Taryn, Pippa, and Callie nodded.
“Thanks.” Raine was so lucky to have these four women in her life, but she wanted something else.
Someone else.
Keaton.
It would take time to get over that.
Over him.
