Page 89 of The Deal Breaker
It didn’t matter that he’d been overworked, exhausted, or that Janice had taken ‘clear his calendar literally. There wasn’t an excuse for what he’d done. He’d failed Iris, hurt her, and she had every right to be upset.
“I shouldn’t have forgotten, but I’ll—”
Iris held up her hand. “No more false promises. It’s too late.”
His stomach clenched. A lump burned in his throat. “Too late for what?”
“Us.”
A single word. Two letters. But the pain in her voice hit with the force of an 8.2 magnitude earthquake. If he hadn’t been sitting, he would have fallen over.
He rubbed his hand over his face. “I made a mistake. It shouldn’t have happened.”
“But it keeps happening. The way it has before. And each time hurts more.” The anguish in her voice made it hard for him to breathe. “I deserve better.”
“You deserve the best. I want to give that to you. Be the best I can be. I…I care about you.”
“I know you do.”
That was a relief. He stood and paced across the great room. “Then what’s the problem?”
“You don’t care for me in the way I need.I need to be the priority. That’s not something you can give me. I've known that since I was a teenager, but I forgot. I’m putting myself first.” She wrung her hands. “I’m not willing to come after everything else in your life. I felt that way growing up, and I’m stopping the pattern before it gets any worse.”
“You’re not last.”
“Your actions say differently. We’d made special plans. You hyped it up. And then you didn’t even tell me it was off. I had to call you. Yet you had time for your parents and for Raina.”
“I sent texts to my mom and dad.” The words catapulted out. Dash had to show Iris she was wrong. Except all he’d done was proven she was right because he could have taken thirty seconds and contacted her. “I should have sent one to you.”
She wrung her hands. “What happened with Raina?”
“She showed up at my office to tell me she’d been fired. I thought she needed a friend, but she wanted money to fund a gaming company. Your text arrived when I was talking to her. I thought it was my mom again, so I didn’t check my phone until Raina left.” Dash might not be helping his cause, but he would tell Iris the truth. That was the only way he could save what they had together. “I was so tired I didn’t want to deal with anyone, including you. I just wanted to go home and sleep for the next twelve hours.”
Iris stared at the rug in front of the fireplace with a faraway look in her eyes. “If I hadn’t texted you, would you have contacted me?”
He hated hearing her hoarse voice. Not telling the truth would help his cause, but he couldn’t. Being selfish hadn’t served him. Neither had sticking with the status quo. She deserved honesty.
“No.” Dash hadn’t thought about Iris and their date. “I don’t know how that happened. I was so excited after seeing you on Monday morning.” He hung his head. “Exhaustion is no excuse, but I am sorry and I hope you forgive me.”
“Thanks for being honest. Now it’s my turn.” She took a breath. “I’ve been falling for you. Hard. And it wasn't the first time.I knew about you being Mr. Status Quo, but I believed I was different from the other women you’ve dated.”
“You are,” he blurted. “You’re my best friend.”
Her gaze softened. “I was once upon a time. But you’re not that same boy, and I’m not that same girl. I thought we could have something special, but you made me feel less about myself. It wasn’t just once. This was a pattern. I didn’t have to be your top priority, but I needed to be on the list.”
“You—”
“I wasn’t,” she interrupted. “You say all the right words, but you do nothing to back them up. Still, I accept your apology, and I hope you’ll learn from this.”
He clung to the glimmer of hope her words provided. “Does that mean you’re giving me another chance?”
Regret shone in her eyes. “It means I’m breaking our deal. Both of them.”
The air rushed from his lungs. He knees almost buckled. “No. We said friends forever.”
“I agreed to that, but I…can’t.I can't, because I can't see you as only a friend.” Her chin trembled. “Last night, as I baked my own birthday cake and ate it by myself, I felt so alone in the world. I want more, Dash.I need more. A boyfriend. A ring on my finger. Marriage. Forever. These things don’t appeal to you, but others might. I sure hope so, because I want you to have more, too.”
This was killing him. She had it all wrong. “I want you.”
