Page 102 of Compulsion
“My intentions?”Lily repeated, voice rising in a question.She lifted her hand and stared down at the ring he’d given her.“Are you asking me if I am going to marry him?”Atlas hadn’t proposed to her.The engagement was just a ruse.
“I’m asking if you are here to destroy him or here to save him.”
Her stare whipped back to his.
“What’s it gonna be, Dr.Lily Gallo?Because I think it could go either way.”His hands fisted at his sides.“When I was at my worst, he was there.He’s walked me through the dark more times than I can count.And every step, every moment, I’ve known that he is fighting, too.It’s so easy to tip those scales, isn’t it?To push someone one way or the other.”
“No.”A shake of her head.“It’s not easy.”
“Are you going to save him or push him into hell?”
What is he going to do with me?“I would never hurt Atlas.”
“Why not?”He took an aggressive step toward her.“Because you’re a good person?Because you’re trying to help others?To make the world a better place?Bullshit.”His eyes glinted.“Tell that to someone who didn’t read your diary.”
“It’s not my diary.It’s my mother’s.”
His expression told her what he thought of that response.Then, “You haven’t answered my original question.”
“Yes.I have.”But she would repeat the answer.“I would never hurt Atlas.”
“Why not?”
Because…
Because you don’t hurt what you love.She licked her lips.
She heard voices rising downstairs.Shouting.“I have to get dressed,” Lily said.She began to shut the door.
His hand flew up to block the door from closing.“Why.Not?”
“Because his dimples scare me,” she whispered.“But his touch makes me feel safe.Because he kisses my scar, and he sees the chaos in me, and he still says I’m beautiful.”
Some of the tension faded from Desmond’s face.
“Because nothing with Atlas is ever going to befine.” Something she realized with all of her being.“It will be intense.It will be shattering.It will be consuming.I won’t ever be able to hold back with him.He won’t let me.”She considered that.“I won’t let him hold back with me, either.I want everything.Good.Bad.The confusing parts that blend them both.”
“What if there is no good?”
She tilted her head and sent him a brief smile.
He frowned.Blinked.“What the fuck are you doing?Are yousmilingright now?You don’t usually smile.”
No, she did not.
“Shit.”A bit disgruntled.“You have a really nice smile.It makes the gold shine in your eyes.”
She ignored the compliment.She wasn’t looking for compliments.I have my mother’s smile, and she always used it to disarm and charm.“We both know there is good in Atlas.It’s why you fight to defend him so hard.It’s why I’m pulled to him.Not for the darkness he carries, but because we can both see the light.”
Desmond swallowed.He stepped back.“You can’t go downstairs in just a sheet.Atlas would lose his mind.”He turned away.
Her hand flew out.Caught his before he could leave.“There isn’t just darkness in you, either.”
“You don’t know…you don’t understand…”
“I don’t know who you would have been if you hadn’t been kidnapped and forced to do terrible things when you were just a child?Unfortunately, no, I don’t know that man.None of us will ever know that man.But I see you in front of me.Someone who is so determined to protect a friend.Someone who makes sure to have Atlas’s back.”
“He pays well.”Brisk.“Ask anyone.”
